What to tell people?

[MeltsIntoWonder 125]

With my surgery date fast approaching, I've started to tell more people than I originally planned to tell. I've been pleasantly surprised by the mostly positive/supportive response. Many of the people I've told have said that they know at least one other person who has had WLS, so I think that helps.

Ultimately, it's a very personal decision whether or not to tell, but others may react way more positively than you think.

[orionburn 1,024]

6 minutes ago, MeltsIntoWonder said:

With my surgery date fast approaching, I've started to tell more people than I originally planned to tell. I've been pleasantly surprised by the mostly positive/supportive response. Many of the people I've told have said that they know at least one other person who has had WLS, so I think that helps.

Ultimately, it's a very personal decision whether or not to tell, but others may react way more positively than you think.

I've been this way post-op. If somebody comments on my weight loss I sometimes mention it. Just depends on the person. I had a Facebook friend ask me the other day what did I do to lose so much weight and told them "I had 90% of my stomach removed"...lol. And then they came back with saying they've been looking into WLS themselves!

I know that I'll eventually find some stick in the mud, but like you said it's been supportive up to this point and nearly everyone has said they know another person that's had it and how well it worked for them.

[MeltsIntoWonder 125]

40 minutes ago, orionburn said:

I've been this way post-op. If somebody comments on my weight loss I sometimes mention it. Just depends on the person. I had a Facebook friend ask me the other day what did I do to lose so much weight and told them "I had 90% of my stomach removed"...lol. And then they came back with saying they've been looking into WLS themselves!

I know that I'll eventually find some stick in the mud, but like you said it's been supportive up to this point and nearly everyone has said they know another person that's had it and how well it worked for them.

I've really only had one person that reacted quasi-negatively ("If that's what you want, I guess it's ok." and, "I couldn't do that, I want to lose the weight on my own.").

I think WLS is definitely becoming less stigmatized, especially here in the Midwest, where all the fat people live.

[mjfx2 31]

On 3/19/2017 at 3:29 AM, rudge said:

I'm being sleeved on 19th April - I've told mum, my sister, Hubble and 1 friend. It is something really private that I don't feel comfortable telling people but I don't want to glibly say 'eating less and exercising' and perpetuating myth that will result in weight loss. Any suggestions for something vague but not dishonest to tell people?

I also have only told my husband, parents, my sister and 1 friend. I do not plan on telling anyone else prior to surgery. I don't want to take the chance of some not supporting me. I am concerned that I may be put in the situation closer to surgery of needing to share because my surgery will be during the summer and my son is very social going over friends and having them over. Being the type of person that I am having a hard time not being directly honest I feel like this could be a struggle, when I don't allow his friends to come over or can't drive him to a friends or why are my parents staying with me. At that time I know i will be honest, but my intent will be to inform the person that it was necessary for my health, it isn't for everyone but it was the right decision for me.

[hmills653 365]

Lesson learned!
I told a lot of people thinking they would be happy for me because of my health. BUT instead I got a lot of negative response. I heard jealousy and envy from some people.
BUT that's ok because this is my life and I know what is best for me. These people have health issues themselves.
I can't worry about what people think.

I was surprised how many people act like I'm doing something wrong. I'm not big on airing my life on Facebook but one of the girls I was good friends with in school posted about how she's lost x pounds with some supplement and she isn't cheating by having surgery. I responded of course with how surgery is not cheating, it's a personal decision made between a person and their physician regarding their health and for some they have no other choice. She must not have liked my response because she deleted the entire post. I have told everyone that I normally talk with family, friends, and Co workers but have met with alot of concern from others. Although it will be nice to not have to deal with high blood pressure, a blood clot in my lung, arthritis is my spine and knees, just to name a few of the things obesity has brought me.

[msdr1 11]

I'll only be telling a couple of people that I'm doing WLS. All I'm telling work is I'm taking a vacation to San Francisco for a week. To explain the weird meals and weight loss. I'm doing something different my Dr prescribed to assist me in a healthier lifestyle. Truth +vague= sweet spot.

[Flora Anderson 61]

It's nothing to be ashamed of. I tell anyone who seems to have any questions. I'd rather be a shining star than hide under a lie.

[LeaninLanc 83]

15 minutes ago, Flora Anderson said:

It's nothing to be ashamed of. I tell anyone who seems to have any questions. I'd rather be a shining star than hide under a lie.

Agreed! I'm only 3 weeks out but definitely noticing alot of changes. So far the only questions I've been asked are multiple friends wondering what I did to change up my makeup and hair. Uhm, nothing, that's just my cheek bones rid of some fat. I'm ready and willing to give modern medicine and 10 months of prep work the credit when I'm asked!

[2 juicey4u 26]

Before I had surgery people I knew that were obese all their lives were losing lots of weight. A natural reaction is Wow you look good what are you doing to lose the weight? About 75% of them were honest with me and I appreciate that cause it gave me the courage to have weight loss surgery.... Those that didn't share I am OK with that too but they loved all the compliments and attention received by people as they stood before us lying about how they loss weight that part I just can't respect......i'd rather them to say thanks for the compliment but it's a personal issue I don't want to discuss. I myself never lied because I knew I was having surgery to please me, myself and I and it didn't matter to me how anyone felt. To me it was a blessing I received that I could share with others and a blessing like this surgery I definitely wasn't hiding from anyone.... People talk about you if you obese and they talk about you when you losing weight sssooo what's the difference? Negative talk either way....To Be Honest Most People Know You Lying Anyway If You Suddenly Start Losing A Lot Of Weight And You Saying Oooh just eating right and exercising. Uummm All Of A Sudden You Can Lose Weight All On Your Own?? Then you walk away and that's when the laughing, snickering and talking about you start because of you lying in people faces when they know better... Just say I really don't want to talk about it.

[2 juicey4u 26]

Rudge when you lose weight you gonna feel good about yourself and not care what others think..your confidence will only get better.

[2 juicey4u 26]

Flora I totally agree with you, I like how you phrased that.

[kyboo1972 90]

Be honest about it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Most people get a trainer or some help losing weight...The sleeve or bypass is no different. We don't magically loose the weight...We still have to work just as hard to hit our goals. If someone looks down on you for having the surgery...Let them look down on you. Most if the people that have given me attitude about it are overweight themselves and more or less scared of the surgery and maybe a little jealous that I took the leap to do it. Congrats to all on this board on your hard work and big loses!!

[kbellakat 69]

Be honest about it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Most people get a trainer or some help losing weight...The sleeve or bypass is no different. We don't magically loose the weight...We still have to work just as hard to hit our goals. If someone looks down on you for having the surgery...Let them look down on you. Most if the people that have given me attitude about it are overweight themselves and more or less scared of the surgery and maybe a little jealous that I took the leap to do it. Congrats to all on this board on your hard work and big loses!!

Well said kyboo !!

[LauriT 2]

I'm being sleeved on 19th April - I've told mum, my sister, Hubble and 1 friend. It is something really private that I don't feel comfortable telling people but I don't want to glibly say 'eating less and exercising' and perpetuating myth that will result in weight loss. Any suggestions for something vague but not dishonest to tell people?

Hey, April 19 is my sleeve date as well. I think you should give as much information that you want to. It's your business, no one else's. Good luck to you!

[Raheema 24]

Sad to say it but most folks are not supportive and try to talk you out of it! I had planned to do this surgery with my 66 year old mother who was dragging her feet a living by the "but people say" law. My mom has passed away 2years now, I'm sure had we did as planned she'd be here now! Don't tell anyone but the support group, I have received so much support and encouragement from total strangers, we are sisters and brothers in the weight loss struggle