So, I'm a bit Lost...

[xLosty 13]

Hi everyone (:

Firstly, I'll start by introducing myself a little bit... I'm a 22-yo girl from Belgium and in August 2016, I went for my first appointment to get more information about bariatric surgery.

Now, what led me to making this appointment? Well, ever since I can remember I've been struggling with my weight. I started going to a dietician from the age of 10, had a personal trainer for a few months at the age of 12, between the age of 14 and 16 I did Weight Watchers, a Soup diet and also the Dukan-diet that I did for about 6 months. After graduating High School, I went to a life coach and did some kind of special diet, combined with exercising every day. With this diet I lost about 12 kg (26 lbs). I felt really healthy and more confident at this point, I thought I had finally managed to change my lifestyle and habits. However, as all of my past diets, I only very slowly lost the weight and hit a stall. I tried to break the stall by increasing my exercising, but my weight wouldn’t move and my coach would only get annoyed with me telling me I didn’t exercise. As a result, I would get very frustrated and stressed out as I didn’t know what else to do and I started to get quite demotivated, because every week I went, I knew what was waiting for me. So, I made the very, very bad decision of saying ‘F this’ and every week after my consultation I started binging and then for the remaining 6 days I would just followed my plan to the letter and exercise. After a little while, I got fed up and just stopped going in general. Needless to say, that just like all of my previous attempts, I gained every single gram back plus more (of course). After all of this I just gave up on diets in general. I only had one goal and that was to get an internship in London, get out of my comfort zone, change my environment for a few months and be on my own.

Last year in March, I reached this goal. I moved to London on 19 March 2016, words cannot describe how happy I was of being away from everything for a few months. I could finally try to get some structure in my life and be away from a little something I like to call “Village Mentality’. The period I was living in London, I opened up more and I just became more comfortable and happy with myself. I actually started to like and accept myself for who I was. I didn’t feel like I constantly had to live up to a certain standard (appearance wise) anymore. My social anxiety, that had been getting quite sever because of the way I look, was finally diminishing. I was feeling genuinely happy and when my friends came to visit me they saw me blossom too. I don’t know how much, but after these three months I lost a quite a bit of weight without even trying to… I guess a reason for this is because I walked literally everywhere. Then, sadly, 12 June came along and I knew this had to end sometime and I would have to move back home.

I tried my ultimate best to hold on to this feeling of being happy with myself and leaving the house more, but I slowly felt it slipping away. I kept trying to get a hold of it, but as I am writing here, you probably know how this ended… So, I took matters into my own hands and went to my doctor for advice. I told him about all my insecurities and my weight and he referred me to a bariatric surgeon.

Three weeks ago, I had all of my pre-op intakes (psychologist, dietician, physiotherapist, endocrinologist and physician). I am to this day still waiting for a phone call of the multidisciplinary team with their advice/approval for me. The only things they told me that day is that they were very pleased with my bloodwork (no Vitamin deficiencies, no diabetes and no high blood pressure, only thing they did see, was that my thyroid tends to process things a bit slow) and that the psychologist wanted to work with me on my self-image and my cognitive perception about myself (I’ve always been bullied about my weight/appearance even when I wasn’t obese yet and I guess this caused me to have a morphed perception). Prior to these intakes I already underwent a sleep study which indicated that I have obstructive sleep apnoea.

It is starting to dawn upon me of what I’m doing and I am starting to doubt whether I am making the right decision. I feel like I am letting myself down by not being able to do this on my own. So much is going on in my head at the moment as it will affect the rest of my life: Am I making the right decision? Will the outcome be positive or negative? Shouldn’t I try to change my lifestyle one more time before going to this last resort? Shouldn’t I just work on myself and love myself for who I am? What if I go through with this and I fail? Or what if I go through with this and I will still feel the same way I’m feeling now (just without my “protection suit”)? This might sound weird, but somewhere I am also very scared of becoming very vulnerable without my “protection suit”, without being able to hide myself behind my weight… But, I also feel like I am stuck in my own body and I could do and achieve so much more if I could just get out of this… Or then again, is this just wishful thinking? Conclusion, I am completely lost.

I apologise for writing so much, but I guess it might be good to have written all of my thoughts down for once. Did someone else go through this? Am I making the right decision? Every single piece of advice or input will be very much appreciated! <3

Xo Losty

Edited March 14, 2017 by xLosty
emojis don't work

[orionburn 1,024]

I think it's safe to say that a good majority of us all go through the second guessing phase. This is a big undertaking and definitely changes your life. Weight loss surgery is a tool, and it's success depends on the willingness to make lifestyle changes. It's easy to say that same attitude applies to dieting & exercising, but for myself after countless years of back and forth of losing then regaining I was running out of options.

Honestly I would have a had a harder time making a decision like this at your age. I had some health issues that forced my hand and decided that WLS was my best course of action. I'm now about 7 weeks post-op and can say that I made the right decision. I've seen some negative people on this site say it ruins your social life because you can't eat out like normal. So what? Just because you can't eat an appetizer, a full meal, and a dessert all by yourself doesn't mean your social life comes to an end. It can be a bit frustrating wanting to eat more and be limited to a 1/2 cup at a meal (which is where I'm at now) but not being able to control my portion size is why I was overweight to begin with.

I've never ever been skinny or at a "normal" weight, so yeah, I'm kind of weirded out at what that will be like. For me the health benefits of WLS was what was most important. Do I worry about excess skin? Yes. But the excess skin isn't going to be the cause of a potential heart attack in the next 10 years like my weight/eating habits would be.

This is something to definitely take your time to think about and by all means ask away with questions. Good luck to you on your journey!

[spicylatina911 2]

Well said[emoji1376][emoji1376][emoji1376]

[Newme17 3,444]

To go through weight issues so early on in your life isn't what a child should ever have to do! Seems like the atmosphere of where you are, home or London, plays a big role in who you are and what you do. Is there a chance you can remove yourself again and be where you're most happiest? Other than that, second guessing surgery is normal. I had appts set twice and cancelled and finally said ok to the third and last appt. But this time (and after reading so many experiences that don't ever regret doing this) I'll get my life back, a new one though. So, it's quite normal having all these questions....just keep trudging on hon and I bet you'll be happy you went through it. Many blessings to you on your journey!! Keep us posted!

[xLosty 13]

2 hours ago, orionburn said:

I think it's safe to say that a good majority of us all go through the second guessing phase. This is a big undertaking and definitely changes your life. Weight loss surgery is a tool, and it's success depends on the willingness to make lifestyle changes. It's easy to say that same attitude applies to dieting & exercising, but for myself after countless years of back and forth of losing then regaining I was running out of options.

Honestly I would have a had a harder time making a decision like this at your age. I had some health issues that forced my hand and decided that WLS was my best course of action. I'm now about 7 weeks post-op and can say that I made the right decision. I've seen some negative people on this site say it ruins your social life because you can't eat out like normal. So what? Just because you can't eat an appetizer, a full meal, and a dessert all by yourself doesn't mean your social life comes to an end. It can be a bit frustrating wanting to eat more and be limited to a 1/2 cup at a meal (which is where I'm at now) but not being able to control my portion size is why I was overweight to begin with.

I've never ever been skinny or at a "normal" weight, so yeah, I'm kind of weirded out at what that will be like. For me the health benefits of WLS was what was most important. Do I worry about excess skin? Yes. But the excess skin isn't going to be the cause of a potential heart attack in the next 10 years like my weight/eating habits would be.

This is something to definitely take your time to think about and by all means ask away with questions. Good luck to you on your journey!

Thank you so much for reading my post and giving me a response, I genuinely appreciate it! And wow, you've already lost 70 lbs in 7 weeks that's amazing!!

I'm definitely willing to make the lifestyle change. I guess I'm just scared as I was willing to change this is the past too, but still failed every single time. This is something that worries me a bit. Do you feel like it is different now that you had the surgery?

I am not too worried about the "ruining my social life"-part as it seems much more appealing to have full control over food than to go out for extensive dinners with friends. I am worried about regain though. I've read numerous stories on here where people after getting sleeved would regain all of their weight, but I wonder how this is possible. I mean, even if they make bad food choices, if one can only, eventually, eat about a cup of food, how does one regain it all back? This is another fear of mine. Sometimes I feel like I have lost control over my food intake (e.g. when I'm stressed). For example, I am not hungry anymore after eating one slice of bread, but still I have the need to eat 2-3 slices. Is this something you had too and something that was fixed by the sleeve?

I too am worried about excess skin, but I guess if it's really bad I still have the option to get it removed. All though, I am still young and I'd love to have children someday, so I don't know whether it would be best to remove it before or after having children. Probably after, but if I would have a lot of excess skin, it would probably prevent me from getting close to someone, just like my weight is preventing me from doing that right now... So many things to consider.

Again, thank you for your support!

<3

[xLosty 13]

3 hours ago, Newme17 said:

To go through weight issues so early on in your life isn't what a child should ever have to do! Seems like the atmosphere of where you are, home or London, plays a big role in who you are and what you do. Is there a chance you can remove yourself again and be where you're most happiest? Other than that, second guessing surgery is normal. I had appts set twice and cancelled and finally said ok to the third and last appt. But this time (and after reading so many experiences that don't ever regret doing this) I'll get my life back, a new one though. So, it's quite normal having all these questions....just keep trudging on hon and I bet you'll be happy you went through it. Many blessings to you on your journey!! Keep us posted!

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post! <3

Yes, I felt like I had more opportunities to evolve myself as a person when I was living in London. I already considered moving there, but this is unfortunately financially not possible as it's extremely expensive to live in London. I am thinking of doing my master's degree there next year though, but I'm completely dependent on my parents whether I will be able to do this or not. Then again, I'd only be living there for only one semester after having to move back again..

I am so glad I am not the only one second guessing this surgery. How is your journey going?

Thank you for the support, I truly appreciate it! Bless you and the best of luck on your journey! I will definitely keep you all posted!

<3

[sleevesue 2]

I have my sleeve surgery tomorrow morning. I can't wait to lose the wait & be healthier & have more energy

[Finding_Stacy 263]

6 hours ago, orionburn said:

I think it's safe to say that a good majority of us all go through the second guessing phase. This is a big undertaking and definitely changes your life. Weight loss surgery is a tool, and it's success depends on the willingness to make lifestyle changes. It's easy to say that same attitude applies to dieting & exercising, but for myself after countless years of back and forth of losing then regaining I was running out of options.

Honestly I would have a had a harder time making a decision like this at your age. I had some health issues that forced my hand and decided that WLS was my best course of action. I'm now about 7 weeks post-op and can say that I made the right decision. I've seen some negative people on this site say it ruins your social life because you can't eat out like normal. So what? Just because you can't eat an appetizer, a full meal, and a dessert all by yourself doesn't mean your social life comes to an end. It can be a bit frustrating wanting to eat more and be limited to a 1/2 cup at a meal (which is where I'm at now) but not being able to control my portion size is why I was overweight to begin with.

I've never ever been skinny or at a "normal" weight, so yeah, I'm kind of weirded out at what that will be like. For me the health benefits of WLS was what was most important. Do I worry about excess skin? Yes. But the excess skin isn't going to be the cause of a potential heart attack in the next 10 years like my weight/eating habits would be.

This is something to definitely take your time to think about and by all means ask away with questions. Good luck to you on your journey!

Well said, orionburn. Hey, I just noticed you're from South Bend. I'm from Laporte. Small world!

[vsg_queendiet 73]

It very normal to second guess yourself. But weightloss surgery isn't a magic solution. It's a tool to help us. We still have to do all the work. Sometimes you need a little extra help. There nothing wrong with that. I had second thoughts about getting the surgery too. Im 8 months post op and guess what? Best decision I've ever made. I would do it again in a heart beat.


HW: 420 (January 2016)
CW: 270 (March 2017)

Instagram: vsg_queendiet

[Please 188]

4 hours ago, sleevesue said:

I have my sleeve surgery tomorrow morning. I can't wait to lose the wait & be healthier & have more energy

Good luck to you!! Wish you the best!

[xLosty 13]

15 hours ago, sleevesue said:

I have my sleeve surgery tomorrow morning. I can't wait to lose the wait & be healthier & have more energy

The best of luck! Xx

[xLosty 13]

11 hours ago, vsg_queendiet said:

It very normal to second guess yourself. But weightloss surgery isn't a magic solution. It's a tool to help us. We still have to do all the work. Sometimes you need a little extra help. There nothing wrong with that. I had second thoughts about getting the surgery too. Im 8 months post op and guess what? Best decision I've ever made. I would do it again in a heart beat.


HW: 420 (January 2016)
CW: 270 (March 2017)

Instagram: vsg_queendiet

Wow that's great! It's amazing how much weight you've already lost! Xx

[orionburn 1,024]

16 hours ago, xLosty said:

Thank you so much for reading my post and giving me a response, I genuinely appreciate it! And wow, you've already lost 70 lbs in 7 weeks that's amazing!!

I'm definitely willing to make the lifestyle change. I guess I'm just scared as I was willing to change this is the past too, but still failed every single time. This is something that worries me a bit. Do you feel like it is different now that you had the surgery?

I am not too worried about the "ruining my social life"-part as it seems much more appealing to have full control over food than to go out for extensive dinners with friends. I am worried about regain though. I've read numerous stories on here where people after getting sleeved would regain all of their weight, but I wonder how this is possible. I mean, even if they make bad food choices, if one can only, eventually, eat about a cup of food, how does one regain it all back? This is another fear of mine. Sometimes I feel like I have lost control over my food intake (e.g. when I'm stressed). For example, I am not hungry anymore after eating one slice of bread, but still I have the need to eat 2-3 slices. Is this something you had too and something that was fixed by the sleeve?

I too am worried about excess skin, but I guess if it's really bad I still have the option to get it removed. All though, I am still young and I'd love to have children someday, so I don't know whether it would be best to remove it before or after having children. Probably after, but if I would have a lot of excess skin, it would probably prevent me from getting close to someone, just like my weight is preventing me from doing that right now... So many things to consider.

Again, thank you for your support!

<3

Just to clarify I'm down about 70lbs since first starting my journey, which started last May. I have lost 35lbs since surgery though which has been amazing!

I do feel different this time although I still have the same fears as you that I'll find a way to get around it. One thing that kind of woke me up was seeing quite a few people on here asking questions about when can I go back to eating this/that unhealthy item. Essentially it was trying to find a way to get around the limitations of the sleeve. It made me realize that isn't the right approach to this. If I choose to go back to eating fast food, or decide I'm going to start having ice cream every day then chances are I'm going to eventually find other bad things to work into my diet to cause me to gain weight back.

It's easy to fall back into what they call slider foods and lose track of how much you're eating. Despite having a smaller stomach now if I choose to eat all day long I could easily get back up to over 2,000 calories a day making unhealthy choices. Different foods will go down easier than others. As an example I can eat a Oikos Greek yogurt in a shorter period of time compared to others foods. If I tried to eat the same portion size of chicken salad in the same amount of time I would feel like crap. Last night I took a few bites too fast at dinner and felt terrible. I hadn't eaten that much but because I didn't pace myself properly I had to walk away from the table and finish later.

As to the physical appearance it's something to consider but having a healthier life matters more to me. I know there's always the option of plastic surgery down the road if it comes to it, but at this point I'm not that concerned. That's one of those areas where there are some cons but the pros definitely outweigh the bad.

[orionburn 1,024]

13 hours ago, Finding_Stacy said:

Well said, orionburn. Hey, I just noticed you're from South Bend. I'm from Laporte. Small world!

Ha! That's cool. I actually lived in Laporte for about a year back in the early 2000s. I had somebody message me yesterday that is looking to go through the same clinic that I did in South Bend so it's nice to have some fellow Hoosiers around!

Edited March 15, 2017 by orionburn

[Finding_Stacy 263]

18 minutes ago, orionburn said:

Ha! That's cool. I actually lived in Laporte for about a year back in the early 2000s. I had somebody message me yesterday that is looking to go through the same clinic that I did in South Bend so it's nice to have some fellow Hoosiers around!

I don't know why, but I never looked around for other clinics, especially those closer to me. Chicago's 45 minutes away but expensive since I pay for tolls and parking. I think it's because I read a Graham Elliot article on how he had his surgery at the UoC and that was it for me. Where did you have yours done?