Pissed Off and Rebelling

[clevergirl 41]

Anyone not wanting to read a rant, exit now.

I'm pissed. I've had to go through the motions for five months now for my six month waiting period before I can have surgery, which is scheduled for April 17th. I'm pissed because everything I learned from the nutritionist, I had learned before on the million other diets I've tried and the forums I've read. She told me that most people, at the end, say that they are so happy that they had this time to learn and prepare. I'm not. I'm just pissed that I had to wait.

My mother did not have to wait for six months before her breast cancer surgery so she could learn to live with breast cancer.

My niece did not have to wait for six months before receiving insulin so she could learn how to live with Type 1 Diabetes.

Why the hell do we have to wait? It feels punitive. Like saying "hey fatasses, you get to wait and be fatasses some more! Why? Because we feel like it!!!"

I went to see my shrink because of all of the anger I was feeling and that one mental health counseling session accomplished more than any meeting with the nutritionist.

I'm headed to the nutritionist now to hear other stuff that I've already read about or already know. My lunch hour wasted.

I'm almost to the point of throwing my hands up and saying F%*K it.

[blizair09 3,250]

Actually, I consider the six month diet requirement to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I decided to make the most of that time, and I started making changes right away. During that time, I redefined my relationship with food, got a handle on my mental demons, and lost half of my excess weight (99 pounds -- from 397 to 298 on the day of surgery). This hard work set me up for my post-op success, and made everything about the surgery and life afterward much easier.

The sleeve is just a tool, and it is only as good as the hard work that accompanies it. The point of the six months is to start that hard work. Most people don't change anything and let the time go by, but if it is done right, it can be life changing.

Good luck!

[clc9 644]

I'm almost to the point of throwing my hands up and saying F%*K it.

A) To your insurance company, you are not an individual. They cater to the least common denominator to make sure everyone has your nutrition knowledge - in their minds, it's better to over-educate you than under-educate someone else. Given some of the questions I've seen on here over the last several months, some people still aren't getting enough education.

To your quote I left above - ever think that's the point? A six month wait is a giant staring contest. If you blink first and quit, they win because they don't have to pay. They hope people are overwhelmed by all the hoops and drop out. This was my surgeon's opinion too, by the way.

Hang in there. You are so close to winning the staring contest a d getting what you want. Sometimes in life, we have to play games we don't want to...

[Newme17 3,444]

Hang in there hon, you're almost there! Think of your six months being a blessing to those who have to do a year, or even two, I've heard, when going through insurance. Imagine another six months....eeee! And like @clc9 says, don't let the insurance company win; make them pay.

[GMen88 70]

Nope. Don't give up. It's frustrating but I think those 6 months are a great period to reeeaalyyy re-evaluate things and start making changes for the better.

You said you know most of what your NUT is telling you, right? Cool. Those 6 months would have been a great time to put all of that information that you know into practice. Start changing your diet. Exercising a bit more. Make those lifestyle chances early so it won't be that much of a shock to the system after surgery. As someone mentioned, the sleeve isn't the end all be all. You've gotta put work in to make it work. Those 6 months could be the jumping off point for that shift.

[gryffen 176]

How do you think I feel. It's taken me 10 years (5 rounds of weight managment in Scotland) to get this far and I'm only 5 weeks away from surgery. Totally get the annoyance but at the point where your surgery is done it will be like "oh, that's why!" [emoji16]

[BigViffer 3,544]

Do a quick search on this forum for "regret" or "cheated". So many people go through with the surgery and are no where near mentally prepared for the lifestyle change.

To be honest though, I did not have to wait. In my case the sleeve surgery was a precursor to another surgery dealing with my spine. However, once it was done and the weight came off the other problem went away. So I was one of the fortunate ones.

[BigViffer 3,544]

You know, now that I think about it; vent away. This is exactly the place to blow off the steam. Many times I vented on something that in hindsight was trivial. But in the moment, it's something that just needs to be said to get it out of your head.

[JessNewGoals25 23]

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am actually at the point you are at. I have 5 more dietician appointments & my psych appointment coming up and with all of me severe medical conditions I can't understand why the insurance makes us wait 6months. I feel like things have gotten worser with my conditions but YET I still am being forced to wait.

The only reason I that's keeping me from not giving up and what I can hope will encourage you to not give up is to think about how far we've come already. It would be a complete waste to just throw all these appointments we have had already down the drown because at this point I'm being impatient.

We are already to start our life changing journeys and it is damn frustrating having to wait approval from so many people that have to have an opinion about our happiness (weight loss) that we do want to quit but don't.

I believe quitting now would be the biggest mistake any of us in this group can make. You did the right thing by seeing your shrink now just blow through the rest of these appointments and keep in mind you are almost there!!

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

2 hours ago, clc9 said:

A) To your insurance company, you are not an individual. They cater to the least common denominator to make sure everyone has your nutrition knowledge - in their minds, it's better to over-educate you than under-educate someone else. Given some of the questions I've seen on here over the last several months, some people still aren't getting enough education.

To your quote I left above - ever think that's the point? A six month wait is a giant staring contest. If you blink first and quit, they win because they don't have to pay. They hope people are overwhelmed by all the hoops and drop out. This was my surgeon's opinion too, by the way.

Hang in there. You are so close to winning the staring contest a d getting what you want. Sometimes in life, we have to play games we don't want to...

That would be a good theory except this is the way it works in universal healthcare too.

The logic is the same.

Let's take OP's example of people with breast cancer. That's sort of a medical emergency is it not? Being fat isn't. There are comorbidities that associate with being fat. And those clearly affect when/if/how the surgery is done. However, for the vast majority of people this is self-induced. They need time to reflect and learn more about what got them to where they are, and it needs to be seen if they can lose weight on their own first instead of just throwing them into surgery because they demand it. People tend to think they're the doctors or triage nurses and can diagnose themselves and decide what surgery they want and when. In the real world of course, it doesn't work that way.

An insurance or government will lose 100% of the money on a surgery if you just fly into WLS and do absolutely nothing to treat the underlying causes of it, which very well may be physiological or psychological or both. The idea in mind is to ensure healthy choices so taxpayers, insurers, etc. don't go broke trying to fix health problems, in most cases, someone brought upon themselves.

And I won't take issue with the OP getting mad, but it changes absolutely nothing. As someone who had to deal with the bureaucratic nature of universal healthcare, being in a Weight Management program since September 2015, everything I learned, about what I did wrong, where I'm going right, etc. would not have happened if I was simply tossed into surgery "cuz I said so". It would have appeased me to be thrown in ASAP but I'd not have learned anything.

Edited March 13, 2017 by PatientEleventyBillion

[hopekate 85]

I got through 5 1/2 months of waiting only to find out that my insurance dropped the 6 month wait period over 3 months ago! The dr office didn't know about the policy change even though many of their patients are covered by Highmark BCBS. The only reason I learned about the change was from another poster on this forum. I don't know how to feel about those months, so I'm looking forward and keeping positive.

I wish you all of the best!

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

I have mixed feelings about this as well.
I do not like being made to wait, but I think the six months can be beneficial as others have said.
I wish I didn't have to wait, I wish I could get the surgery and get on with it but that is not the case.
I am trying to use these six months to get myself mentally prepared for the surgery.

[gjb2017 71]

Wanna hear a good one? Last June, 2016 I decided to go the vsg road. We had planned on a Xmas holiday vsg (I am special ed teacher at a high school). That makes a 7 month prep period. Well..

Then my wife found out she needed a new hip! Immediately!

So... my surgery was delayed until late at least spring (I had to shovel snow, as she would not be able to.)
Hi
Complications, so I am pushed out till at least July 2017.

If I get the vsg in July, that's will mean a 13 month "prep" period.

But I am using this time to really get the best nutrition habits I can.

[Finding_Stacy 263]

5 hours ago, blizair09 said:

Actually, I consider the six month diet requirement to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I decided to make the most of that time, and I started making changes right away. During that time, I redefined my relationship with food, got a handle on my mental demons, and lost half of my excess weight (99 pounds -- from 397 to 298 on the day of surgery). This hard work set me up for my post-op success, and made everything about the surgery and life afterward much easier.

The sleeve is just a tool, and it is only as good as the hard work that accompanies it. The point of the six months is to start that hard work. Most people don't change anything and let the time go by, but if it is done right, it can be life changing.

Good luck!

Wow, blizair09! You've done an incredible job!!! Truly inspiring...keep up the great work and thank you for being such a good role model for us to follow <3

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

I didn't have a six month wait, but 3 months and it was required by my group. The theory is they want to make sure you will stick with the rules you are given over a longer period of time. I think the most difficult part of this process was getting my head in the right place. It has made the last 6 months post-op so great!