Thoughts

[IveGotThePower 395]

11 Months out and I caught myself. Down 90 lbs now. And 11 months ago, I was very skeptical that I could actually loose that much weight. I have been ecstatic with my progress but find my thoughts creeping towards dissatisfaction with the loose skin and the fact that I am a size 14 but maybe I should set a goal to be a size 6 or 8. I have had to stop myself and put things in perspective and realize how far I've come. It is a mind game now. A balancing act between being in a comfortable sustainable place where I have a healthy relationship with food and my body, and disregard external influences that are not in line with what is best for me. I did this for me. To be healthier and feel more comfortable in my life. I have accomplished those goals. You get used to the scale moving seemingly effortlessly in the beginning, and the stalls are hard to deal with. Slipping back into unhealthy food habits to try to force the scale to move come to mind. And it takes patience to wait out a stall and because sometimes I think my body is adjusting and it just needs me to give it time. I am 200 lbs now. But I feel the bones in my hands, my face, shoulders and ribs. My feet shrank a half size. All good things, but totally freaky to feel a body that feels so different. It is almost as though I am in someone else's body. I have said from the beginning that I will focus and do my very best. I don't know where I will stabilize with my weight and size but peace and balance have to be priorities no matter what. Plastics are certainly an option that I will consider. However, I want to focus on all the positive aspects of the changes my body and I have gone through and not rely on surgery as the source of my happiness. Thank you all for your posts. It has helped me so much to read others experiences, so I wanted to share mine.