To Tell or Not To Tell - That is the Question

[JRaye 63]

I am having gastric sleeve surgery on April 6th (yay!) and so far have only told a handful of people. I am a private person when it comes to losing weight because I hate the questions of "how is the dieting going?" "how much weight have you lost?" So this time around I really don't want to deal with it, plus I don't want to deal with the judgement involved. Also, I want to add that in the last four month I have lost 40 lbs on my own so people are already noticing that I am losing weight so I am figuring that they will just assume that I am continuing on with the weight loss after I have had the gastric sleeve surgery.

I don't live near my family and only see them once or twice a year so I am not worried about their reaction when I see them. I guess what I want to know is have any of you not told others that you are having this surgery and if so, how has it worked for you? What have you said to people when you have been asked about your weight loss?

People are just too nosy for me and I feel like it is none of their business. Maybe I'm being being too much of a b*tch about it. I don't know.

[The New Kel 1,312]

First of all, congratulations on your upcoming date!

It's an individual and private matter that everyone feels differently about. I am a private person and only told my husband, daughter, and parents. Oh, I also told my boss because she needed to know why I was taking time off. She is professional and I know she will not blab my business about the office. I have not told anyone else. Friends and coworkers and have commented on my weight loss positively but have not asked "how" I did it.

If you feel like keeping it to yourself, you certainly can! I personally would be really uncomfortable if everyone around me knew. Good luck!!

[Thick2slim83 26]

Tell people who need to know. There are too many nosey people out there! Good luck! I am around the same time as you.

[CanucKnucklehead 22]

My surgery is on Monday and I haven't told anyone at all. I realize that I may have to at some point, but I am a pretty private person and don't feel like explaining my decisions to anyone. I simply told work that I'm having "a surgery" and will be away for a week or two.

[Cape Crooner 589]

I had a bad experience with this. I told a handful of people and my 94 old mother. Everyone respected my privacy, but my mother didn't really understand how private it was. She told friends who I never would have told. I have told no one else, but my wife is afraid the word got out (6 degrees of separation).

My advice would be to tell no one, or pretty much anyone you consider a friend.

In 6-12 months, you'll be down 100 lbs and everyone you know will want to know "how'd you do it". And that's all anyone will want to talk about for 18 months.

Prepare NOW for how you want to answer that question!

[tlh4life 66]

As others have said, it's really a personal decision on who to tell and when, if ever. I've told pretty much all of my friends and my supervisor. I went through a pretty significant weight loss before on Weight Watchers (lost 170 pounds), and everyone assumed I had weight loss surgery. I've since gained it all back and then some. Since I've had a drastic weight loss before and I didn't mind sharing with others. Everyone I've told has been extremely supportive!

This is all to say, if you're going to tell anyone I would just make sure that they're people who you know you can count on to be supportive if your new lifestyle.

[Amethyst Acinom 72]

I had the Sleeve done exactly one week ago today. I have not told too many people except about
My husband, my mom, mother in law, 2 friends who both had Sleeve surgery too. My father in law knows I had surgery but nothing more.

Well I find it a little easier to just keep it all to myself. It's no ones business and I don't the side eye and "oh she took the easy way out" etc

We all know this journey is far from easy. I started my weight loss journey in August and was able to knock off almost 30 lbs myself.

Since I am very active on social media, I try to post little things here and there about my weight loss so when I do see family and friends in person it won't be too big of a shock.

I still have a little pain but overall I'm doing great with the Fluid intake etc.

My advice is definitely reach out in this app or any groups for support. I've had my moments like I needed someone to help me.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

There are a few really long threads about this that you can search for.

I didn't tell anyone, just a couple friends know. I have found it to be very beneficial that people don't know.

A lot of people say that people will question you or how you are losing weight but honestly even though you lose a lot of weight it doesn't come off overnight and people are not that curious. Most of the population think that diet and exercise work so if you tell them you are low carb and being active they will readily accept that.

I am literally 1/2 my size I was before and no one questions how I lost weight. They know I am active and when they spend time around me, they see how I eat. All day, lol but small portions. Most people are not willing to give up carbs on the level I have, so when people see how I eat, even at restaurants they don't question.

You can't un-tell, so it is best not to tell.

At almost 2 years I am finally to the point that I would feel comfortable talking about my surgery with people because I feel it could be so beneficial for some people. The only thing is, I don't want the fact I had surgery to be my identity and have people ask me about it all the time. I don't even feel like a WLS patient at this point and surgery seems like a distant memory. Being a poster child for surgery would be like a dark cloud that followed me around robbing me of my identity.

[gjb2017 71]

I am generally open about my upcoming vsg, only keeping it from my mom, brothers and sisters. Their holier than though attirude (they have all done it and weigh more now than before).

I will only tell them a few days before my vsg, just in case, we'll, just in case.

[Berry78 4,261]

I am a surrogate mother. I carried a child of whom I am the biological mother for a couple that could not conceive a child on their own.

I am not shy about talking about it, as it is part if my identity. When people hear about it, it usually brings up the same couple questions, and they move on.

For me, WLS will fall into the same niche. If it happens to come up, I'll talk about it. Mostly people will be curious for a few minutes, then lose interest.

They almost invariably dismiss the surrogacy conversation by saying, "oh, I could never do that." I imagine the surgery conversation would be the same way. They ask questions, then put themselves into your shoes to see if it would apply to them or someone they know.

[arringtonc49 188]

I learned the hard way. I told family and co-workers about surgery thinking they would be
Supporting me BUT! That did not happened. I received negative results. I wished I had just kept my mouth shut.
My friends were positive about it.

[Renzster 8]

I've been telling anyone if it comes up in conversation...example, I need two weeks off of work and so clients are asking me if everything is ok or am I going on a great vacation? I tell them I'm having bariatric surgery and the responses have been great! Honestly, the handful of negative comments have been from my obese family/friends/clients. I'm thinking it could be a jealous thing. The support has been amazing!

[Shell ???? 224]

To be honest I only told those I had to I found lots of jealousy and negative comments were made in the early stages so I stopped talking about it

however if a person who's overweight comes up to me and asks out of genuine intrest I tell the truth

I had weight loss surgery as I know as a former overweight person the hope I'd get when someone lost weight

but when the skinny minnys ask I say oh Paleo the gym etc it's none of their business

I have people recently not recognise me and it's funny as I'm still me there shock is a laugh

I told my immediate family and two friends and that was it.

[Di_ 34]

I started off not telling anyone but when I was about 20kgs down an overweight friend asked me what I was doing and I said low carb high Protein and then she started to put herself down so I ended up telling her. I wish I had known about WLS years ago so I share hoping that it will benefit someone and also so overweight friends and co workers know it's an option.

[Middus 491]

Well the suggestion to have bariatric surgery wasn't originally mine in the first place. So the friend who suggested it knew about it. I told 4 other friends (we've been buddies for over 17 years). 'Sort of' told my younger sibbling, and that's about it. My family won't understand. Surgery is culturally a 'big deal'..