I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am

[lessnless 1]

OK, I have a SCHppelling problem, so bear with me...

I was at the stable yesterday, and tried to help a lady catch her runaway horse as it bolted into the barn. I got 1,000-lb body-checked into a wall. At least I didn't get trampled.:confused:

I'm black and blue all over. My knees are two different sizes. My elbows don't match either. I have a TERRIBLE case of whiplash--I hurt from the bottom of my ribcage all the way to the top of my ears. NO PAIN in my port, or inside my chest, so I think I'm OK there.

I have no post-op pain meds in the house. I poured them out because they TASTED bad--how freakin' stupid am I ?!?!?

Haven't been to the doctor. I'm a proud member of the piss-and-moan-at-home-alone club. I've tried Aleve, a heating pad, an ice-pack on every extremity.

SO HERE'S MY sad tale--apparently I can't drink for spit. I had two shots of Peppermint Schnapps (how's that for Schppelling?), and I'm schnoockered... Weebly-wobbly, crossed-drunk... Hubby's happy, he thinks he's getting lucky tonight. Hello, have you SEEN my bruises?!?!

I WILL say that the old "apply tequila to the tonsils" remedy seems to have loosened up all the muscle spasms...

Oh well, it's only a flesh-wound...

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[anonemouse 1]

Oh, man.... That sounds painful. Hopefully you will be feeling no pain soon.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Banded it sure doesn't take much, eh? We have all become cheap dates for food and alcohol.

If hubby thinks he's getting lucky tonight he might not realize you'll be sleeping in NO time. :confused:

[nicnaknut 0]

lessnless.... You are to funny... The piss-and-moan-at-home-alone club cracked me up.... Thanks for the funny post....

Hope you don't suffer from a hang over tomorrow... :confused:

[Marimaru 7]

Holy crap that sounds painful...

You might take a warm bath, and then you might want to think about going to the doctor on Monday to make sure nothing is broken...

[Sandy63 0]

Try an Epson salt soak. Run bath Water as hot as you can stand it. Add Epson salt, get in the tub and take a nice long soak. Works wonders for getting the soreness out. Good luck!:confused:

[lessnless 1]

SHHHHHHHH!!! Not so loud.... :sick:sick:sick

[Sandy63 0]

On that previous post about the Epson salt...that should have been Epsom salt...sorry, the fingers want to type the wrong keys late at night!!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

SHHHHHHHH!!! Not so loud.... :sick:sick:sick

Are we feeling a bit different pain today vs. yesterday??????

ARE WE?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

OH Oh oh.... my turn my turn!!!

Drinking a glass of wine and wowser! It's happening fast!

[nicnaknut 0]

Oh no WASa... Are you doing ok??? Apparently it doesn't take much with the band to get tipsy... Be careful....

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Oh no WASa... Are you doing ok??? Apparently it doesn't take much with the band to get tipsy... Be careful....

Oh, that was the other day. No extra calories for me for a few days.

However, it's sure true. We do make cheap dates, eh?