Negative people

[Freedom2Thrive 46]

As a 16 year old having bypass surgery I was approached by many people who were either supportive or toxic. I say toxic because making the decision to undergo WLS is not something easily decided and many people try to persuade you out of it.

It required a huge team of thinkers (including me) coming together to create a plan that would help me live my best life!

A lot of people can't see what were trying to do because they lack empathy and they are scared for us, and fear manifests itself in many different ways (anger, anxiety, negativity), and yes it's true we could die on the table but we can also get hit by a bus, That's just life.

6 years out and looking back now I can say it was the best decision I ever made. I came to realize that there are three types of people in the world. People who:

1. Make things happen (Oprah, you and me)

2. Watch things happen (the spectators, the one's that root for us to fail)

3. Look at their life and say "what just happened" (the victims)

You should feel soo proud of yourself for making a step in the right direction for yourself and the lives of the people around you.

However you or any of you choose to move forward know that you're not alone and we're all hear to support you

[kmalmonte 6]

I ,point blank, told anyone with a negative opinion that I didn't have room in my life for that. If they can't be supportive and positive, not to talk to me about it. I almost lost a few friends... others quickly realized our friendship is more important and have been super supportive!

[skinnydreamer16 43]

I know how it feels to have negative people in your way. Mine is not my health care professionals...it's my husband! He is so against me having my surgery ( bypass scheduled for June 16, 2017), that he has threatened to divorce me if I go through with it. He repeatedly tells me I will fail, and gain all my weight back. That it's a waste of money. That it's taking the lazy way out, and cheating to lose weight after being a glutton for 8 years. I have gained over 150 pounds since my mom passed away in 2008. So I guess that makes me a glutton.

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I sincerely hope you went through with your surgery. You have to do it for YOURSELF and not for anyone else. Your husband may be afraid something will go wrong and he could lose you. Or ...... something will go right and someone more loving and supportive may come along and again he may lose you. If he is threatening to divorce you because you want and NEED to be healthy, I feel sorry for you. Do your best and better days will follow.

[njgal 535]

I know how it feels to have negative people in your way. Mine is not my health care professionals...it's my husband! He is so against me having my surgery ( bypass scheduled for June 16, 2017), that he has threatened to divorce me if I go through with it. He repeatedly tells me I will fail, and gain all my weight back. That it's a waste of money. That it's taking the lazy way out, and cheating to lose weight after being a glutton for 8 years. I have gained over 150 pounds since my mom passed away in 2008. So I guess that makes me a glutton.

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How are you doing now?


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

[losing2live4Him 33]

I'm doing ok. Today is post op day 8, so I started my Vitamins and full liquid diet. My tummy doesn't seem to appreciate it as much as I thought it would though! I'm doing this alone for now, so I'm making due. Thanks for asking!

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[njgal 535]

I'm doing ok. Today is post op day 8, so I started my Vitamins and full liquid diet. My tummy doesn't seem to appreciate it as much as I thought it would though! I'm doing this alone for now, so I'm making due. Thanks for asking!

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Hey... you did it!! If you need to vent we're here for you [emoji177][emoji173]️[emoji172]


H 5'6" HW 253, CW 245, TBS 9/19

[losing2live4Him 33]

Shortly after I wrote this, I ended up in the E.R! That was no fun. I just got home tonight from my little fiasco. Apparently I had a stomach ulcer. And my blood level was dangerously low, plus dehydration.
Small set-back, but back on full liquid diet and new meds. Ugh!

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[linah 92]

I know how it feels to have negative people in your way. Mine is not my health care professionals...it's my husband! He is so against me having my surgery ( bypass scheduled for June 16, 2017), that he has threatened to divorce me if I go through with it. He repeatedly tells me I will fail, and gain all my weight back. That it's a waste of money. That it's taking the lazy way out, and cheating to lose weight after being a glutton for 8 years. I have gained over 150 pounds since my mom passed away in 2008. So I guess that makes me a glutton.

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This makes my blood boil, it is your health and life that is at stake, that is your priority and if he doesn't understand that it's on him, not you. We should start a new thread showing how many of us have verbally abusive partners when it come to our weight. Good luck and may you have the clarity to decide on the best path for you.

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[linah 92]

Shortly after I wrote this, I ended up in the E.R! That was no fun. I just got home tonight from my little fiasco. Apparently I had a stomach ulcer. And my blood level was dangerously low, plus dehydration.
Small set-back, but back on full liquid diet and new meds. Ugh!

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Sorry to hear this, hopefully you will feel better soon. Good luck and all the best.

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[rudy7306 14]

Make your own choice. My Dr cleared me but wasn't thrilled with the idea, all of family hated the idea and were scared, and the only one who wasn't against was my wife.

DO the research and go with your heart.

[njgal 535]

18 minutes ago, rudy7306 said:

Make your own choice. My Dr cleared me but wasn't thrilled with the idea, all of family hated the idea and were scared, and the only one who wasn't against was my wife.

DO the research and go with your heart.

I agree.. my pcp's first reaction was to tell me about a patient of hers that had died after getting wls surgery.. of course further inquiry proved she had had a host of other issues and shouldn't have been cleared for wls to begin with but you can imagine, it leaves quite an impression on one when this is the first thing you hear from your pcp. nevertheless I stuck with it and am due to be sleeved in september. only you can tell if this is the right thing for you (unless there are medical reasons as to why you shouldn't of course!)

[K_aane 356]

I'm doing ok. Today is post op day 8, so I started my Vitamins and full liquid diet. My tummy doesn't seem to appreciate it as much as I thought it would though! I'm doing this alone for now, so I'm making due. Thanks for asking!

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You are not alone. You have all of us. [emoji4]feel free to reach out anytime.

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[K_aane 356]

How does everyone deal with negative reactions from people? I am a couple months away from getting gastric bypass and I just had an appointment with a cardiologist. He was definitely not on board with my getting surgery. I do not have any comorbidities or anything so he thought I should just do it by diet and exercise. I was 100% on surgery and now I feel like I'm letting 1 person make me second guess my decision.

Get another doctor. If you continue being overweight you will begin to have problems that will require medication. Surgery OMITS The Problems That require meds. As long as you see that dr, he will eventually have you on meds. When a cardiologist does not go all in for surgery, find a new one.
Just like he thinks surgery is not for you, tell him, I have decided you are not the dr for me.
I changed my pcp because she was overweight AND kept Poo pooing everytime I asked about wls. But she was ready to up my meds all the time. My new pcp is a tall beautiful thin woman and soon as I saw her in Jan she said, first things first, you need to get this weight off. I said I have my appt in 2 weeks to see a wl surgeon. She said great! ! She has been my biggest supporter. When I got my clearance from her in June she was all excited for me. She said I can't wait to see you in Oct. My surgery is in July, waiting on my date. My cardiologist and kidney doc are all on board. You need a doc who cares about YOU first.


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[lauratro 67]

Get another doctor. If you continue being overweight you will begin to have problems that will require medication. Surgery OMITS The Problems That require meds. As long as you see that dr, he will eventually have you on meds. When a cardiologist does not go all in for surgery, find a new one.
Just like he thinks surgery is not for you, tell him, I have decided you are not the dr for me.
I changed my pcp because she was overweight AND kept Poo pooing everytime I asked about wls. But she was ready to up my meds all the time. My new pcp is a tall beautiful thin woman and soon as I saw her in Jan she said, first things first, you need to get this weight off. I said I have my appt in 2 weeks to see a wl surgeon. She said great! ! She has been my biggest supporter. When I got my clearance from her in June she was all excited for me. She said I can't wait to see you in Oct. My surgery is in July, waiting on my date. My cardiologist and kidney doc are all on board. You need a doc who cares about YOU first.


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Thanks for the advice. Luckily I had to see him one last time a couple weeks ago and that was it. He cleared me for my surgery

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