Post-op body image

[triplethreat 257]

Hi all - not quite sure where this issue/question best fits, so...I was sleeved last summer and am in maintenance phase now. I was a size 20 when I was sleeved and am a size 8 now. For a couple of months I've been very happy with how I look and feel. However, lately (the last two weeks), I have an issue with seeing myself accurately. I see myself as overweight and feel like I want to go back to my former habits of hiding my body through overly large, baggy clothing (which is difficult because I've made an effort to rebuild my wardrobe with items that actually fit me). It's irrational, I know. Part of my dissatisfaction is that I have what I think of as too much abdominal fat (and I'm actively working on this); part of it is that I've never been particularly attentive to how I look. Now I am. I am wondering if this is a common happening for people who reach gw and if so... what to do about it?

[Berry78 4,261]

Body image is a huge hurdle for most of us on the board I dare say.

When we are/were at our heaviest, we had no idea that we were THAT heavy! When we lose weight, we still see the fat in the mirror.

The best thing to do during and after weightloss is to spend plenty of time in front of mirrors and the camera. This is not vanity! You have to relearn what you look like! Other people look in a mirror 365 times a year, experiencing very few changes during that time. They have looked a couple thousand times over 5 years (and most people only age a bit in that time).

Even if we look in the mirror every day during the first year of weightloss, every day is different. So when you get to goal weight, you are essentially starting from scratch. Identities aren't built in a day. Give it some time... but not passive time.. put some thought and effort into it!

Did something happen 2 weeks ago to make you suddenly see things differently? Something someone said, or how a piece of clothing fit?

[Berry78 4,261]

I should add.. when doing your mirror work, make sure to concentrate on positive affirmations. There is no perfect body, and yours has been through the ringer. So you have a bit of a tummy.. so what?! You are healthy, and likely don't have swimsuit model aspirations. You are beautiful! Embrace it!

[triplethreat 257]

3 minutes ago, Berry78 said:

Body image is a huge hurdle for most of us on the board I dare say.

When we are/were at our heaviest, we had no idea that we were THAT heavy! When we lose weight, we still see the fat in the mirror.

The best thing to do during and after weightloss is to spend plenty of time in front of mirrors and the camera. This is not vanity! You have to relearn what you look like! Other people look in a mirror 365 times a year, experiencing very few changes during that time. They have looked a couple thousand times over 5 years (and most people only age a bit in that time).

Even if we look in the mirror every day during the first year of weightloss, every day is different. So when you get to goal weight, you are essentially starting from scratch. Identities aren't built in a day. Give it some time... but not passive time.. put some thought and effort into it!

Did something happen 2 weeks ago to make you suddenly see things differently? Something someone said, or how a piece of clothing fit?

Nothing negative happened. I did overhear a co-worker comment that his wife was getting heavy and he wanted her to lose weight around that time, and I also saw some old friends whom I've not seen since wls- they were very positive about how I look, though. Some days when I'm getting dressed (this week) I pull out clothes and then think that they won't fit me, even though of course they will. I do need to start building a new body image, you are right. One day at a time. Time to start being friends with the mirror instead of avoiding it.

[ShelterDog64 2,364]

Hi all - not quite sure where this issue/question best fits, so...I was sleeved last summer and am in maintenance phase now. I was a size 20 when I was sleeved and am a size 8 now. For a couple of months I've been very happy with how I look and feel. However, lately (the last two weeks), I have an issue with seeing myself accurately. I see myself as overweight and feel like I want to go back to my former habits of hiding my body through overly large, baggy clothing (which is difficult because I've made an effort to rebuild my wardrobe with items that actually fit me). It's irrational, I know. Part of my dissatisfaction is that I have what I think of as too much abdominal fat (and I'm actively working on this); part of it is that I've never been particularly attentive to how I look. Now I am. I am wondering if this is a common happening for people who reach gw and if so... what to do about it?

I'm not quite at goal but had my surgery last summer as well. As my weight loss has slowed and I'm not constantly dropping pounds, I'm finding myself sliding back into my old dislike of my body, being very critical of every flaw and in general not being very positive about myself. I'm fighting that negative self-talk pretty hard, and I've asked my husband to help me, too. I have a very hard time accepting compliments, but now the 'rule' is that if he says 'hi gorgeous!' or 'you look great' or whatever, I'm not allowed to deny it or say anything negative in return. I say 'thank you' and 'I'm glad you like this dress' and don't let the negative stuff invade my head. It's amazing how much better I feel about myself when I'm not berating myself all the time.

I was in a size 18 when I had surgery in June, I'm now in a 10 and will shortly wear an 8... it's absolutely ridiculous for me to be so critical of myself. I look good, and it's okay for me to think it AND say it. You too, right?


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Oneyearout 43]

YOU BET IT IS. Stop being so negative sweet girl. If someone says you look good smile and say thank you! Then believe it!!! You are doing great and deserve the compliments. I too am a size 8 but do have excess belly. Looks great with jeans but not so good naked but only my hubby and myself sees it. I feel better and at 62 is saying a lot. Feeling healthy has no age.

[AnneElliot 79]

It's not easy when we suffer from body dysmorphia. We don't see the positive only the negative. This is something you will need help to overcome. Join a support group online or seek counselling.

I am working with a therapist and I've never felt skinny even when I was...I had this surgery in a time when my body issues were on a high.

It's a battle

[AnneElliot 79]

It's not easy when we suffer from body dysmorphia. We don't see the positive only the negative. This is something you will need help to overcome. Join a support group online or seek counselling.

I am working with a therapist and I've never felt skinny even when I was...I had this surgery in a time when my body issues were on a high.

It's a battle