Possibly worrying too much about how to tell others I've had VSG. What did you do?

[LeaninLanc 83]

I must preface this by saying I have never been at a loss for words. I'm a 58 year old professional who has worked in and with the public for decades. Why am I so concerned/cautious/embarrassed to tell others I'm having VSG on 3/6? My family including siblings all know as do two BFF's and the must-know people at work. But the idea of telling church friends and work friends and others who will have to notice something is happening is making me so uptight. How did you handle this?

[Jnette1979 9]

This is my question too! March 8th for me.


Sent from my iPhone using BariatricPal

[Jess55 97]

I'm getting sleeved on the 6th as well!

As for telling people, I'm not. I possibly might tell my friend later on, but coworkers and such no. I'm a private person. It is my business and no one else's. Although people might start to wonder at work. Especially since a coworker had bariatric surgery yesterday and she was open about it. I feel both of us losing weight at the same time may look suspicious

[LeaninLanc 83]

Oh I totally get that as I consider myself a very private person that unfortunately must live a very public role in our community. I routinely protect my (and hubby and kids') privacy like a zealot ... and on one hand I doubt anyone cares as much as I fear telling them. Guess it's all part of coming to terms with a lifestyle change.

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

1 hour ago, Jess55 said:

I'm getting sleeved on the 6th as well!

As for telling people, I'm not. I possibly might tell my friend later on, but coworkers and such no. I'm a private person. It is my business and no one else's. Although people might start to wonder at work. Especially since a coworker had bariatric surgery yesterday and she was open about it. I feel both of us losing weight at the same time may look suspicious

I concur, it's no one's business. If a person wishes to tell others anyways that's their prerogative. However, outside my wife, a best friend, and the Leaner Services department of my university, and of course wide array of medical professionals I see, nobody else knows or will know.

[Vinasu 621]

I didn't tell anyone I don't live with. And no one has asked. They see me working out and eating less. Since most people assume anyone can lose weight that way, they just figure I'm doing what I should.

Look, I didn't tell anyone about my hemorrhoids. Why would I share other private medical information?

[PatientEleventyBillion 851]

1 minute ago, Vinasu said:

I didn't tell anyone I don't live with. And no one has asked. They see me working out and eating less. Since most people assume anyone can lose weight that way, they just figure I'm doing what I should.

Look, I didn't tell anyone about my hemorrhoids. Why would I share other private medical information?

I think of it in a Charlie Sheen sense regarding hemorrhoids, if I tell them about it, they'll leave me alone and quit speaking to me. Win/win.

[Andrea F 48]

I didn't tell everyone at church... just a few select people that would be able to support me when I was off. If anyone asks, I intend to respond with eating right and increased activity. I don't ask for personal details of the happenings in their lives so why would they expect me to divulge mine?

[Berry78 4,261]

I don't have friends or co workers. I live with my MIL, and told her, so of course now the whole world knows

I will be seeing some of my extended family 3 months post surgery for 5 days. Not sure if/what to tell them. Guess I'll see where I'm at at that point. I don't care one way or another if they know after the fact. Don't want to invite nay-sayers beforehand.

[harmonylynn 47]

I spoke with my doctor about this same topic tgis week. She told me to play switch a roo when people asked about my weight loss....when someone asked...I could respond my saying yes I have been watching what I eat and exercising and then very quickly comment or ask them a question about them. I must admit I will have to practice that!!

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

I didn't even tell my mother or my sister. My husband, two teen daughters and my best friend knew. That was it. I'm 6 months out and 75 pounds down from my high weight in April 2016. When people comment on my weight loss, I thank them. When they ask what I'm doing, I tell the truth, but not the whole truth :

• I eat a high Protein, low carb diet
• I exercise 4-5 times a week for at least 1 hour and work with a personal trainer
• I'm working with a doctor and dietician for guidance
• It's not easy, but it's been worth it.

The only person I told at church was our associate rector, and even then, all I said to her was I was having a procedure and wanted her to hold me in prayer. Same thing at work - I just said I had to have abdominal surgery and would be out for a few days.

I just spent the weekend with my husband's family and they don't know and didn't. While you are paying attention to everything on your plate, no one else is. I was able to eat mostly on plan -- I did bring a few Oikos yogurts and some Protein Bars as a just in case.

Don't tell anyone you think will be a Negative Nancy.

[LeaninLanc 83]

Thanks everyone for the "reset". This input was exactly what I needed. I'm confident now that I've told the key people that I needed to tell (and told some of them early on in my 6 month process to hold myself accountable). Your suggestions for handling this going forth were right on.

[Pescador 1,374]

I never understand the need to tell anyone. My husband and I told my daughter, but not his 30 year old son. Neighbors don't know, friends don't know. They rant on about our weight loss, God forbid they would be ranting on about our surgery, IF we had told them.

[DillThePill 18]

If you don't feel shame about it, then why hide it? I don't wear a t-shirt saying I had weight loss surgery but if someone wants to know about my weight loss then I'll talk about how I accomplished it.

The best way to remove the stigma is to talk about it a matter of fact way - the same way you'd talk about other weight loss techniques like exercise and diet. No one has a problem talking about that.

[doingit4me2017 93]

My husband and kids know, we all live in the same house, and my close co-workers at work. I don't plan to tell any others. I do work in a hospital, so people know that have cared for me. Most people already comment that I eat clean, and never have the cakes and Cookies that everyone else at work is eating. It's my choice to share, do what makes you comfortable.