I don't know how to handle my life and changes..

[Snunu 1]

Hi everyone! I feel bad and sad and know that is my fault of not following the diet and sport but I don't know how to manage it all.. I'm full time working mom of 2 boys, hubby is helping around but not much as he is really overloaded with work and one day off per week.. Boys are 10 (my stepson) and 4 (my birthson) and are very active and noisy and difficult to handle. My work is stressful. No friends or family around to help as we are expats living in the foreign country at the moment. All that is making it soo hard to focus on me and follow every rule I have to follow.. My day starts at 5 am and the only time I can be free falls after 9-9.30 pm and by that time I am sooo tired and just can't imagine myself doing any sports.. My food also isn't good enough as most of the time I don't have time cooking for myself, so I end up eating everything I cook for my family. It is not that bad food or unhealthy but still not suitable enough for me. I feel desperate today cuz I made my progress report and realized that despite I have lost 59.4 pounds in total, since bypass surgery, I have lost only 39.6 pounds. As a fact, I am 6 months post op and have such a poor results and such a poor self discipline and control over my life. I feel even at times that my pouch has stretched a lot cuz amount of food U can eat increased a lot too.

I want to gain control. I cannot turn the clock back but I am ready to put myself at the first place now. Any advice on how could I start over? Cuz emotions and feelings that again the food controls my life are just killing me inside. I want to reach my target.. want to change.. just don't know again where to start...

P.S. to make it easier to understand.. My surgery was done back home and the first 8 weeks were great with sport and food and then I had to go back here.. school, work.. and slowly everything went out of control.. and I found myself living the same life as before surgery. So for what then I was doing it all? Please guys, don't judge me much.. I just look for aupport I am so much lacking here..