Relationships/marriages post OP

[Krisbell 26]

So, I'm married, I've been married to my husband since October 2015, but I have been with him since 2008. I've not had the surgery yet, but this is something that bothers me about when I become post op. My husband understands and supports why i want and need the sleeve, but he says he really doesn't want me to have it, because he thinks i'm fine the way i am and he says he's afraid it will change me. I want it to change me, but not in a bad way.

his stepmom had the bypass a few years ago and she ended up losing a lot of weight and cheating on his dad, but there were problems in that marriage before she had the surgery. I think he's afraid that I will feel good about myself and we will end because of that. It really makes me nervous because I want to feel good about myself and I don't want the attention of someone checking me out, but at the same time, I've never really had that so I don't know how it will make me feel, but most of all, I want this surgery so that I will be healthy and so my husband and I can try to start a family, he knows all of this, but even though he says he supports me, he still is iffy about me having it...but he also says that it has nothing to do with his dad and stepmom but more of he doesn't want me to be sick all the time after it.

So my question is, how is your marriage or relationship since surgery and was your significant other iffy about it at first too, and if so, how are they now?

[Ssze1109 163]

You have to do what is best for YOU! Otherwise you might have health issues down the road and be miserable.
Of course he is scared others will pay attention to you. That could happen. But if he is good to you and you have a solid relationship then it will work out. If there are issues now there will be issues after too. I've read that some marriages fail after because we just don't put up with the crap anymore and gained self confidence to not deal with an unhealthy relationship.

I am very fortunate as my husband is very supportive. I was self pay-$16,000 and he didn't hesitate to go get a loan for me to have the surgery. He compliments me all the time and is excited that I can exercise more and proud that I actually WANT to exercise.

You will not be sick and miserable after surgery. I had surgery Nov 9th. I am not sick and definitely not miserable. Well, the Vitamins make me sick for a minute but that passes.
Just do it for yourself.

[Grerchen57 16]

Love this post! Amen.

[Tulip4me 15]

I think your husband is having a normal reaction to the unknown. All of us, going through having the sleeve have worries on the weight, will be in pain, what we are going to have to change in our lives. But I'm sure our loved ones have worries that we never think of. Just be reassuring to him. It will all work out! Prayers!!


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