Help! My parents and friends are skeptical!

[BabyPandaloup 2]

Hello everyone! My name is Katherine, I am 21 years old and I live in Quebec, Canada.

I have been struggling with my weight since I was 6-7 years old. My family did not understand my overweight body at the time, considering that everyone in both of my family is skinny/average. They did an awful job at trying to manage my weight and it left me with not only a bad self-esteem but also how my metabolism is functioning now. I was put through all of the diets in the world as a child yet nothing would work. When I became a teenager, I redid all the diets all over again by myself. I did every diet on the planet: you name it, I did it! Yet my weight has been fluctuating for forever. I can't get a good shape even through exercise, even through a good diet. It's the worst thing in the world and everyone is doubting that I am "really" trying.

Which brings me here! A few months ago, I decided that I couldn't take it anymore and I started considering bariatric surgery. First, I was thinking of getting a lapband but now I understand that they don't do it in my city and I'd have to wait 2-3 years to get one. Then, I discovered there were more cons than pros compared to the gastric sleeve.

I got informed about the gastric sleeve and I believe it's perfect for me!

But my parents and friends are really not supportive. I am going to the private, the whole surgery is going to be around 16 500$ and I would probably be able to have it within the next few months.

Everyone is scared, everyone is pissed, everyone is telling me that I "can't possibly have tried everything!?" WHEN I DID. It's making me feel so depressed and alone. Only my sister and my boyfriend are supportive of what I do. Right now, I am waiting for the clinic to call me back. They might think I am too young?

I weight 245 pounds, 5'8'' with a BMI of 37.3

I will take advice, support, explanations! Do you believe that I could have the surgery?

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[Dawnislas 74]

It was the best thing I ever did for my health. You can have the surgery, go through counseling to get your mind set to keep the weight off and go on to live a healthy life style. I wish I had found out about this surgery years ago. I don't think you are too young. Good luck to you


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[Sugarnspice 150]

I think you're the perfect age to get control of your life & weight. I'm 32 for years I thought surgery was the "easy way out " I could do it on my own even though I struggled with my weight since 19 when I had my daughter. I would lose and gain the same 20lbs. I was following people weight loss journeys on IG when I came across a girl who had vsg I educated myself on the surgery & after a long journey in getting it next week 2/16. I'm scared , anxious, excited & kinda of in disbelief but I think it's a new start for me. Good luck


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[MissKay 329]

Better to do it at 21 than put it off and be older and regret not doing it when you were young. Trust me, I'm edging close to 27 and wish I had done it a few years ago, but at the time I only knew about the bypass and lapband and both of those horrified me.

Your family is scared and uneducated (I'm assuming) about the procedure, so it's normal. There is almost always one or a few who seem horrified and unsupportive. Either they'll come around, or they'll be grumpy until they see you succeeding and pretend like they were supportive all along. You may even encounter some who are jealous (even some of your 'normal' sized friends/family). The main thing is that YOU know you've put your heart and soul into it, and your surgeons and pre-op tests will put you through a lot. Most people who don't know a thing about it and aren't supportive think it's some sort of lazy fix to being overweight--which obviously it isn't. It's just another tool in the arsenal, and all about how well you utilize it.

Keep your boyfriend and sister close, and just remember you're doing it for you and your health!

[goosefam 8]

Hi ,

I just want to say that I had the surgery last June and like everyone says it's the best thing I ever did for myself.

My one regret is that I didn't have the opportunity to do it early on in my life, I'm in my fifties.

Excessive weight has ravaged my body and my health!

My journey was so successful that my nephew just had the surgery and my son in law is scheduled in a few months.

It will be the best present you give to yourself!

If you have any questions, or if your family does, feel free to contact me.

I would love to speak with them!

Good luck.

[princessao 6]

Do it!!!

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[BabyPandaloup 2]

All of your responses feel so good and it definitely has motivated me even MORE!!! The clinic probably felt it because they called this morning! I will be speaking with my surgeon next wednesday and I will start the pre-op tests by the end of the month. The nice lady told me it would take around 4 hours. I am excited, terrified but I am oh so ready!

Thank you all! Xxx


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[dannilynn1 83]

Hi there.

I was 250lbs when i had my gastric sleeve surgery. It worked out great. I tried everything and failed at everything. No matter what I did I could not lose the weight. What it boils down to is what YOU want. It is fear of the unknown that what scares people or gets them upset. Just make sure you stick with the program afterwards and always always always make sure you drink your Protein and take your Vitamins. You can do this. We are all here to support you. You know what is best for you.

[puppyloverls3 17]

I just had my sleeve done in Mexico for half of what you will be paying by an outstanding Dr. who has practiced in the US as well and could not be happier. It is NOT an easy fix like everyone thinks and that's where the ignorance comes in. Maybe helping your family become educated would help them realize that it will still be a lot of work and the sleeve is a "tool" to help you. Good luck with your decision.

[BabyPandaloup 2]

Hi everyone! Thank you for the support, it feels great and I'm glad I discovered this app. I passed all of my pre-op tests yesterday and I will be getting my surgery on the 14th of March! 21 days to go! I am so excited yet terrified!!!

[kim0518 26]

I totally understand! There are those who will be against it...some because they worry about you, others because they are jealous. You have to do what you believe is right for you.

I had surgery in Mexico. Imagine the backlash I received from friends who knew! It was the best experience ever! It isn't this back ally, dirty thing people imagine. It was actually better than having surgery in the US! I paid $4000 US & everything was included in that, except airfare, which was only about $250. They treated me like royalty. It was awesome.

So, do what works for you! It is your life. The naysayers don't have to lug the excess weight around & have it wearing out their hearts.

Good luck, Sweetie!

[ryan_86 335]

Ignore them. They'll either be happy for you, or they won't, and if they won't, you might ask yourself how valuable that person is in your life. At the very least, people who love you should love you enough to bite their tongues after you've made your decision.

[ckfaith 6]

Hello, I get where you are coming from. I was going to do this surgery about 3 years ago. I went to all the classes. And when I was ready, I let my mom talk me out of it....at 40 years old. Now I am 42. I am down only 25 lbs from my high weight and going up. I am finally done with my second set of classes and will see the surgeon next week. Hoping to get the sleeve in April. Don't let people discourage you. They do not know your struggle. If they did, they would support you.

[tinkrbll 23]

I would recommend taking one of your family members with you to the appointment so they can get educated. Good luck.

[BigUtahMan 207]

If you are old enough to take control of your life, then you are old enough for the surgery. My parents hated the fact that I elected to have bariatric surgery to solve my obesity, and I did it twice. (They were very comfortable with the "diet" yo-yo, and if I merely had the self-disciple, I wouldn't be in the situation. They see it as a failure and weakness, even though I have had success with both procedures.)

But usually, are family dynamics contribute to the way we are (fat and unhealthy) on many levels. You will quickly discover those issues as you go through surgery and will need to navigate through them for the surgery to work long term. Of course, you can do it, as you see countless people on this forum choose to make it happen each day as well.

As you likely know, age does not determine success, your determination to work through your issues as you stick to the program does. You know if you are ready, and when you really are, the rest of the people in your life don't matter.