Slow Sore Loser

[darima77 56]

Hello fellow sleevers! I'm 11 months post op. I've lost 105 lbs. I'm at a stall. I recently lost my best friend and sister. We were really close. It hurts really bad. I drink alcohol a lot to help mask my pain. I eat small portions but not healthy all the time. I havent lost any weight on about 2 months. I want to continue to loose but my grief over my sister weighs heavily on me. It hurts so bad and I don't want to gain weight. My sister was 3 weeks post op before she passed away. She had lost about 60 pounds. She was on her road to a better life and she died. I'm hurting so bad and I need help in order for me to continue on losing weight. I would like to at least honor her. Please help!!!

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Edited February 6, 2017 by darima77

[Jesm1029 101]

I'm sorry for your loss my only suggestion would be to keep busy walk to relieve stress and go back to basics with eating habits

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[darima77 56]

Thank you so much. It means a lot.

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[_Kate_ 2,224]

Im so sorry for your loss, i wish I could reach out and give you a hug.

If it doesnt hurt too much can you keep a photo of your sister in the house with a mantra placed below it, go to it when you feel weak and say it aloud 5 times. Something like, 'My sister believed in WLS and I want to suceed in her memory because I know shes looking down on me and willing me to suceed'.

Also if you can, perhaps attend grief therapy or some form of therapy which may be able to support you at this very difficult time. Keep posting here too !

Kate

[Guest]

So sorry for you loss. That is so sad, she was trying to better her life. Grief therapy will help you get some support, Good luck and again sorry for your loss.

[Airstream88 361]

So very sorry for your loss. I know it will be hard but you need to give up the alcohol. It's empty calories that aren't doing your body or your mind any good. Please find a grief counselor so you can work through your feelings without sabotaging your weight loss.

[crivera 13]

So so sorry for you loss. Don't revert back. Stay strong and make your sister proud from heaven. She's watching you doll. We are all here for you xoxo

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[bodyslmmn 86]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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[LittleLizzieLilliput 919]

Oh my, I just want to hug you. I'm so sorry! I can't imagine your loss and pain.

I don't know if I have any suggestions for you except this: Please try to love yourself as much as your sister loved you, please don't turn to alcohol to soften the pain. It's so dangerous for us now.

Are you in any form of therapy? I feel like this is a really big thing and maybe too big for me to come up with any helpful words or ideas. Dealing with loss and grief like this, even for people who aren't dealing with what we are, is already so hard. Of course you are struggling and feeling like you are going to drown in the pain. Of course you are turning to other things because our old standby of food for Comfort is gone. I have so much compassion for you, I wish I could help you.

Do you have someone to talk to, you said your sister was your best friend, do you have another person in your life you can talk to? I want you to know you can message me, if you need an encouraging word or just want to chat.

[darima77 56]

I thank you all for your kind words. I haven't sought any therapy right now. My world has changed so much since she's been gone. I love that girl so much. She struggled all her life with obesity issues. The one time that she does something to change her life, she passes away. She was so beautiful inside and out. She was the life of the party.
Alcohol I know isn't good but it helps (i think) when I'm really hurting. I will look up some grief therapy sessions and try to attend. This has really been hard for me. I wish that she was here sharing her weight loss success with me.

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[LittleLizzieLilliput 919]

Darima, I'm glad you are going to look into some therapy sessions. That's really great, I think she would be quite proud of you. I can't imagine your loss. I just know that it's important to talk to someone. Alcohol might help with your immediate feelings but what it also does is hurts your body and is just pushing away the pain, putting it on layaway.

Please know you can just message me and I'll be here to talk. I check this site a few times every day.

I'm giving you a big hug filled with compassion and love.