Best friend totally unsupportive.

[sherri~ 77]

My sister wasn't a fan. 51 pounds in 3 months changed her mind. But she wasn't openly rude and was very good when I had the surgery. I had a couple male friends that were against it. But one is now considering going thru the process. It comes down to how accepting you yourself are about your decision. Once I decided, I didn't argue with anyone who didn't agree. I just nodded politely and changed the subject. I'm already feeling healthier

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[lavette43 75]

By reading your post she is not your friend the best thing I can tell you is stop telling her stuff about what goes on with your surgery do what you need to do for you and your health and prove her wrong she just probably afraid that you're going to be smaller than her she's probably became so used to you being big. Only thing I can tell you is do you I had the surgery and I feel a whole lot better

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[K_aane 356]

My sisters are my best friends, they both live out of state but we are very close. I am the overweight one and have been for my whole life. They weigh 100lbs soaking wet. When I hinted last summer that I was thinking abut wls they both freaked out. You don't need to do that you are not that fat!! Yes I am. 5'1 274lbs is that fat. So I am not telling them that I am doing this. I wish I had their support but rather not if it going to be nagative. I have my wonderful husband being my rock. I see them in December , my surgery will be in august. I will just have to wait for the look on their faces when I am much smaller.????????

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[steph_anie 49]

My father-in-law wasn't on board. He cried, said he didn't want me to die on table during surgery, just genuine fear.

Losing 140 lbs changed his mind. His sister has gotten surgery done and he's on her about doing things right cause he's seen it.

I think for most people it's the fear of major surgery? Or fear of something bad happening. Idk. But you gotta do you! I wouldn't be where i am today if I always listened to my family. And they wouldn't see the success it can be either!

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[Redmaxx 740]

Some people only think of the bad. You're going to die on the table. Could it happen? Sure it could, but you could also get hit by a car.

You don't need negativity. If you wish to keep her as a friend you probably need to have a very serious talk with her.

[mssteal216 45]

She may be jealous of you??

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[strengthin#ers 195]

I can totes relate. I told my bestie of 25 years about my surgery and I didn't get support either!

After I told him I had surgery, all he said to me was, "Huh... I can still eat in front of you, right?"

In all seriousness, stop talking to people about it if they aren't on board. You're just wasting your efforts.

Sent from my phone. Please forgive brevity and spelling.

Some people just don't want to share the spotlight!!!! Move over bacon, we now have SIZZILEAN!!!

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[Heather I 500]

Her response is totally bizarre, and I frankly think you are being WAY too nice to accept this shitty behavior from her. If you want to keep her in your life, I'd limit your contact and conversations to few conversations about safe topics, ignore your surgery in her presence, don't count on her for squat post-op, and let your awesome results speak for themselves.

Something tells me she won't be around six months from now, claiming you have "changed" and aren't the same person. She's already putting it out there that your mind WILL change. IDK what her problem is, but her response is rude and weird.

[chynadoll619 247]

Sounds like BESTFRiENd is a HATER!

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[Lucky2Lose 184]

That's the thing... I don't even know her rational. My husband wasn't on board at first but he came with to my consult and realized how much I wanted it and wanted me to be happy. I just don't get it. She was super successful with weight watchers and maybe she thinks there are other ways. Idk

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Is she heavy as well? I did not tell my best friend I had surgery because I knew she wouldn't be supportive. She's always been my eating out buddy. One of her other friends had WLS and I got to hear her talk about what a stupid decision it was..I decided to tell a couple of coworkers that I knew would be supportive and my immediate family. I only wanted positive support and although I love my best friend..I wasn't going to listen to her being negative toward my decision..or worse..think she could talk me out of it..so 10 weeks out and she still doesn't know. Somethings to some people just don't need to be shared.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Lucky2Lose

[katlzxdcj 23]

Wow. I was actually living with my bff who disagreed with my decision to pursue WLS and she was so upset by it that she kicked me out. Yea. It turns out she wasn't as much as a friend as I thought. In any case, I'm still going through the process, I know that it will make me healthier and happier in the end. And there are other people who support me!

[ssbthodge 92]

So sorry you have to go through this without your friend. That's what best friends are supposed to be here for tho. You are supposed to support each other. I went through a similar situation but it was my husband not my best friend. We argued over and over and finally I decided I'm doing this surgery for me not for anyone else. That's when I found this support group and it has helped me a lot. Now that I've had my surgery my husband has come around to being more supportive. I wish you best of luck the rest of the way!

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[LIA-70 136]

Your friend sounds like a damn hater. She may have had success with weight watchers but doesnt seem like shes happy with herself nor is she concerned with your happiness. A REAL friend doesnt care WTH your reasons are for doing WLS. Are you happy with ur decision and ultimately will it make you a better you? That's it, plain n simple. Trust me once ur on the losers bench with us u will find ur not going to want the negativity around u n u may b the one to drop her like a hot potato. Good luck on your journey. We're all here for you.

CW 216

VSG 1/6/2017

SW 242 GW 140

Woohoo

...summer 2017 here we come ????

Edited February 3, 2017 by LIA-70

[K_aane 356]

I forgot besides my hubby only my 2 nieces,who had the surgery know too. I swore them all to secrecy. "No haters in my posse!"

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[SharBear617 146]

Sorry....but that's not a best friend. I'm not saying that true friends always agree with choices, nor should they, but if your friend really knew you, or really cared, she'd keep the negativity to herself. Plus, good friend or not, our choices are for US, not others. I'd back off that relationship because she'll knock it every step of the way, and this journey is difficult enough without throwing harmful attitudes in the mix.

She may just be concerned/scared for you....but then she should be willing to get educated on it. Good luck, stay positive and firm.

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