Irrational fears?

[Hoping052017 97]

Okay, so here's a question for everyone pre and post op...

Do you have any fears about not recognizing yourself in the mirror after you've gotten to your goal weight?

I know that I have that fear. I've never been skinny. Went on my first diet at age 9. So I have absolutely no clue as to what to expect and it scares me. I know this is a totally irrational fear and I'm talking to a therapist tomorrow about it, but I was wondering if this is a common fear?

[j16 166]

I didn't have that fear- in fact it didn't occur to me but I have been surprised about the changes in my face. I'm certainly recognizable but I have more wrinkles now.

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[Torriluv87 300]

I've had this fear. I've never been thin of any kind in my life so the thought of me being anything other than overweight or fat is kind of scary. I got comfy being big and stuff. Now I don't know what to expect. I don't know when I'll stop losing weight and part of me keeps sabotaging myself i think in fear of actually succeeding this time. I feel like it won't really happen. Like how in the world is this going to be any different than all the other times? But im already at the lowest weight ive ever been in my adult life. And probably in the last 14 to 15 years. And not by much so this Is all new to me. Im sorry I'm rambling. Just giving my view and how I've been feeling.

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[Berry78 4,261]

I love watching those shows where people suddenly end up in a different body (either older or switched with someone else). In the movie there is a 2 minute scene for the discovery.

In real life, we have developed our identities, and any change typically takes years to manifest. WLS presents a unique challenge since the changes are extra fast and dramatic.

I have been heavy as long as I can remember. I did obtain a normal BMI once... for all of a month. Part of my identity is that of being heavy. I have no clue how to change my identity, I just recognize it will be a challenge.

The good news is I weigh about 100lbs more than my mental image of myself. So, if the surgery leaves me a little heavy (190lbs), but not morbidly obese, then there will be no identity issues at all!

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[almost40ish 58]

I haven't had surgery yet. I'm 5'2" and 265. Scheduled for 2/18 in Tijuana.

I've always made light of having the opposite of anorexia... I do NOT see a fat person in the mirror! I see an average sized woman and no double chin, and I love myself! It's not until I see pictures of me that I'm like "whoaaaaaa who IS that?!" I do NOT recognize myself, it's depressing as all hell! I'm hoping the weight loss brings me back to "normal"!

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[Hoping052017 97]

I've had this fear. I've never been thin of any kind in my life so the thought of me being anything other than overweight or fat is kind of scary. I got comfy being big and stuff. Now I don't know what to expect. I don't know when I'll stop losing weight and part of me keeps sabotaging myself i think in fear of actually succeeding this time. I feel like it won't really happen. Like how in the world is this going to be any different than all the other times? But im already at the lowest weight ive ever been in my adult life. And probably in the last 14 to 15 years. And not by much so this Is all new to me. Im sorry I'm rambling. Just giving my view and how I've been feeling.

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Don't apologize for rambling. Thank you for taking time to answer. I know exactly what you mean about fearing actually succeeding this time. I've never been comfortable with my size, but I've also had anxiety for years and it's weird that the thought of succeeding is actually making me really nervous. I think part of it is that I have a fear (manifested by my mother - yeah, thanks again mom!) that when I lose the weight I'm going to have all of this excess skin that I won't have the money to have removed and my insurance won't cover it because "it's cosmetic...not medical". I hadn't even thought of that until my mom pointed it out to me. The other thing was my oldest son telling me that he was afraid of going off into the Navy and coming home and not recognizing me because me being morbidly obese was all he's ever known.

[Hoping052017 97]

I haven't had surgery yet. I'm 5'2" and 265. Scheduled for 2/18 in Tijuana.

I've always made light of having the opposite of anorexia... I do NOT see a fat person in the mirror! I see an average sized woman and no double chin, and I love myself! It's not until I see pictures of me that I'm like "whoaaaaaa who IS that?!" I do NOT recognize myself, it's depressing as all hell! I'm hoping the weight loss brings me back to "normal"!

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I envy you that you can see an average size woman and totally understand the mirror thing. I'm different in that I've never been able to see anything other than fat from the waist down. Boobs up...if I'm being honest with myself it's actually shoulders up...I've never had a problem with. It's everything below the shoulders. Especially the stomach area after I had my first c-section (and two more after that) and my left leg that developed lymphoma after a bout of strep in my leg that left me in the hospital for a week.

[Hoping052017 97]

I love watching those shows where people suddenly end up in a different body (either older or switched with someone else). In the movie there is a 2 minute scene for the discovery.

In real life, we have developed our identities, and any change typically takes years to manifest. WLS presents a unique challenge since the changes are extra fast and dramatic.

I have been heavy as long as I can remember. I did obtain a normal BMI once... for all of a month. Part of my identity is that of being heavy. I have no clue how to change my identity, I just recognize it will be a challenge.

The good news is I weigh about 100lbs more than my mental image of myself. So, if the surgery leaves me a little heavy (190lbs), but not morbidly obese, then there will be no identity issues at all!

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My Dr. office has me at a goal weight that is like close to 50 pounds over where I actually want to be and I have a feeling that once I'm there I am not going to be happy until I'm down to my actual goal of between 115 and 125. But I've been told by numerous doctors that my ideal weight is 115 for my height and bone structure. I've never been below 145 in my adult life. (Couldn't get into the Navy because of it) So, technically I guess I can see myself at 145, but since I've always been told that even there I was obese...it won't be enough for me.

[almost40ish 58]

I haven't had surgery yet. I'm 5'2" and 265. Scheduled for 2/18 in Tijuana.

I've always made light of having the opposite of anorexia... I do NOT see a fat person in the mirror! I see an average sized woman and no double chin, and I love myself! It's not until I see pictures of me that I'm like "whoaaaaaa who IS that?!" I do NOT recognize myself, it's depressing as all hell! I'm hoping the weight loss brings me back to "normal"!

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I envy you that you can see an average size woman and totally understand the mirror thing. I'm different in that I've never been able to see anything other than fat from the waist down. Boobs up...if I'm being honest with myself it's actually shoulders up...I've never had a problem with. It's everything below the shoulders. Especially the stomach area after I had my first c-section (and two more after that) and my left leg that developed lymphoma after a bout of strep in my leg that left me in the hospital for a week.

I'm sorry to hear that! Are you getting surgery? I didn't decide to get it until the discomfort from being overweight kicked in. Like right now my hand is falling asleep as I type this because I'm using my elbow. My ELBOW!!!

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[Berry78 4,261]

Huh.. when I put weight on my elbows, my hands go to sleep too!

@@Hoping052017 . I am 5'8, (currently 307lbs... heaviest weight ever). I once was 145lbs (size 10 jean), for all of a couple of months. My "normal" weight should be 140lbs, which I haven't been since elementary school.

Anyway, my mental self-image is of someone that carries an extra 50lbs.(not 150!) If I were to lose that last 50, I would have some identity restructuring work to do...

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[Berry78 4,261]

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I think part of it is that I have a fear (manifested by my mother - yeah, thanks again mom!) that when I lose the weight I'm going to have all of this excess skin that I won't have the money to have removed and my insurance won't cover it because "it's cosmetic...not medical". I hadn't even thought of that until my mom pointed it out to me. The other thing was my oldest son telling me that he was afraid of going off into the Navy and coming home and not recognizing me because me being morbidly obese was all he's ever known.

I'm concerned about the skin too... but I am more concerned about diabetes and high blood pressure. I LIKE the feeling of compression wear (Under Armor), so figure I'll just wear that a lot.

You can send weekly pics to your son so he can see the progression! I bet that isn't really a true concern for him anyway, just an off hand comment. It is MUCH easier for other people to get used to changes in you then it is for you to embrace the change yourself!

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[almost40ish 58]

@@Berry78 I wake up multiple times a night from poor circulation, and anytime my arms at bent it starts to tingle. My weight is affecting my joints too. I'm so glad I decided to go the surgery route.

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[Hoping052017 97]

@@almost40ish I have had problems with my hands going numb and walking me up in the middle of the night for years. I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel back a few years ago. I had surgery on my left hand because it was the worst of the two. I still need the surgery on my right because it still wakes me up on occasion but I have to be re-evaluated before that can happen. Maybe it will improve when I lose the weight? I didn't realize the weight affected that.

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[trekker954 421]

Don't worry about what goal your doctor or NUT has provided. Most NUTs won't even give you a goal until you are close to what you should be. We actually spoke about this last night at our group. Doctors tend to go with BMI numbers. Many will evaluate you based on weight, your lifestyle and just how you look vs. a number on the scale.

We had set a weight and when I got there, my NUT said, lets drop it another 10 because as time goes by and we also age, its inevitable we will put on a little weight, so you may want to lose more than your "goal" to have some numbers to play with. They actually said 10-15% of regain is typical for their "successful" patients.

[Berry78 4,261]

Carpal Tunnel is often caused or worsened by obesity. I know that is my problem at least

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