Confused. (Thinking to back out)

[nb660 0]

Hey guys,

I finally made my decision do the sleeve, I have an appointment to see a doctor next week, however I told a couple of my friends about it and all of of them are discourageing me saying I will loose my personality etc. I'm a little concerned about that, I don't want to be this skinny depressed guy. That's 1.

Number 2. While most people that do the sleeve only have good things to say about it, this 1 friend did the sleeve and now is telling me all kinds of things to stop me from doing it. Such as, it's hard it didn't work for me, u won't make it past the liquid diet, no gas sodas, no eating and drinking at the same time, you will gain everything back.

So all this is making me think twice.

Guys please help me out here.

Edited January 29, 2017 by nb660

[sleevinpops 303]

Nb, you need to ignore the "noise" and do what you feel is best for you. I know I had a few "friends" and even family that said the same, trying to discourage me. I respond back noting that I have struggled with my weight for over 20 years. Have tried all sorts of diets only to gain it all back and even more. Not to mention high blood pressure, cholesterol, Apnia and (what finally put me over the edge) borderline diabetes. Maybe they would prefer to have me continue to have declining health (better check my insurance policy...LOL)

I have tried so many times to loose and keep it off, but have not been successful. Surgery is another too that has a high success rate for weight loss, but I also realize I need to change my relationship with food.

If you see so many other posts about those that have already done it, it is true that many have discomfort initially, maybe even for a couple months...but over time most still say they wish they did it sooner.

Good luck with with YOUR decision, I know it is a difficult decision, but it is YOURS to make.

We are here to support.

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Edited January 29, 2017 by sleevinpops

[Jackson53 35]

I don't understand the myth that it will change our personality. My mother said the same thing. I think that it's a cultural expectation that overweight people are jolly and warm. That doesn't change because you become thinner, but during the process you will have "grumpy" days because of the life change and adjusting to a new way of life. It's kind of like quitting smoking and going through a little withdrawal. But it's temporary.

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[sally628 63]

I 'm only telling my family and one truly supportive friend. When Ive discussed this with friends before I was discouraged by the negative feedback. Another friend of mine who had WLS and has had amazing results told me that people act really strange. The most negative comments come from friends who are also big and have chosen not to have surgery because they are afraid of it or they don't want to change their lifestyle. Even when I was strict on my diet and was eating clean and no alcohol I had friends who made remarks like oh call me when you can have fun again. I realized that people don't want you to change from the role you play in their lives. If you are the fun one and always available when they want to go out and have fun, they are afraid that will change. I have no problem socializing with people without drinking and I can still have fun. I think it makes people uncomfortable when I'm not drinking and eating bad food and they are because of their own issues. Your true friends will be supportive. For some it just might take a while to realize that you are still you.

[tlcnawlins 5]

U will be fine just stick to Dr orders and friends are friends regardless what u go through if they aren't supportive then they aren't true friends and those are the ones u trim out of your lives you are progressing your live to a new level and those that don't go with you or want to see you get to the new level don't belong with you at that new level leave the at the old level below where you are going now keep it positive and work hard at it

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[ebonymc 52]

I am wanting the same (sleeve) and I've heard the same remarks as you and feel as you do. I had the band before and learned how to eat and drink at different times. You will adapt to that sooner than you think. As a matter of fact, my band has been removed for 2.5 years now and I still adhere to that automatically. I was inspired by a friend of mine that had the bypass. Our other friends made statements that She doesn't seem happy, but to me she did. I'm trying to rule out all negativity and so should you. Good Luck to us both!

[K_aane 356]

Make your decision on what is best for you. You alone are living this life and you only get one..make it your best. I am taking this step at 57......telling no one but my hubby and 2 nieces who already had the surgery. I want a mind set of positive energy only. Yep I am nervous but as John Wayne says.."courage is being afraid but saddling up anyways" so I am grabbing the reins and getting ready for the ride of my life. "And I don't want naysayers in my posse". Trust your inner voice, do what is right for you. It's your body, your health, expect the best, settle for nothing less than. God Bless.

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[sleevinpops 303]

I don't understand the myth that it will change our personality. My mother said the same thing. I think that it's a cultural expectation that overweight people are jolly and warm. That doesn't change because you become thinner, but during the process you will have "grumpy" days because of the life change and adjusting to a new way of life. It's kind of like quitting smoking and going through a little withdrawal. But it's temporary.

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Going through this process so far, I can also honestly say I am much happier, energetic, etc. down almost 30 pounds and happy to report an ex smoker! If they want to find negativity in that, that's their choice, I'm lovin it!

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[sleevinpops 303]

Make your decision on what is best for you. You alone are living this life and you only get one..make it your best. I am taking this step at 57......telling no one but my hubby and 2 nieces who already had the surgery. I want a mind set of positive energy only. Yep I am nervous but as John Wayne says.."courage is being afraid but saddling up anyways" so I am grabbing the reins and getting ready for the ride of my life. "And I don't want naysayers in my posse". Trust your inner voice, do what is right for you. It's your body, your health, expect the best, settle for nothing less than. God Bless.

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Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[gryffen 176]

One thing I can say about my journey (current waiting on surgery date) is the amount of toxic bullshit people come out with.

Personality change, no fun anymore, won't work etc etc etc.

I've cut out a LOT of toxic people in my life and found some new friends who are behind me 100% - my in laws are ones I've cut out as MIL has done our progrAmme but believes I'll fail. Screw her.

YOU know you need to change. YOU called the doctor and decided on the sleeve.

YOU will succeed.

Wishing you all the best

Fridge Pickers Wear Bigger Knickers ????

[clc9 644]

I think your friend has ulterior motives - it may not be conscious, but in his comments I read between the lines "I wasn't successful, but if you have WLS and are successful, then I look even worse."

There will be people in your life who don't want you to change even if it's for the better because they like you as you are and they like how they feel around your current self. They don't want you to be "better" than them (not that you would be, but I'm talking insecurities here), thinner than them, more confident than them, better looking than them, happier than them.

Pay attention to facts only. Ignore the opinions of those who might have personal agendas for wanting you to stay as you are. Go with your gut and what YOU want for yourself and your life.

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Edited January 29, 2017 by clc9

[Butterflight 49]

The last time I checked, I didn't store my personality in my thighs...lol! As someone who's been a healthy weight and then morbidly obese all within the span of 10 years, I can tell my personality didn't change but I did become more anxious about not wanting to leave the house at the large weight I've become. If anything, I would think losing weight would make you more outgoing...how could that be bad? I suggest you attend a bariatric support group and talk to a wide range of people from different age groups and different walks of life who've gone through the process. They'll be able to give you feedback regarding their experience rather than just gaining the info from 1 friend.

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[lisaBme 46]

Hey guys,

I finally made my decision do the sleeve, I have an appointment to see a doctor next week, however I told a couple of my friends about it and all of of them are discourageing me saying I will loose my personality etc. I'm a little concerned about that, I don't want to be this skinny depressed guy. That's 1.

Number 2. While most people that do the sleeve only have good things to say about it, this 1 friend did the sleeve and now is telling me all kinds of things to stop me from doing it. Such as, it's hard it didn't work for me, u won't make it past the liquid diet, no gas sodas, no eating and drinking at the same time, you will gain everything back.

So all this is making me think twice.

Guys please help me out here.

Let's face it, everyone loved going out to eat with us!! Eating is definitely not as much fun as it used to be, but it's time for new fun.

[sonkat5355 70]

WOW, Please don't let negative, selfish people ruin your plans. I am almost 62 and doing it Jan. 31, 2017!!! Scared, anxious but need to push through that. This is for a better life for you and I'm sure your personality will stay in tact but it won't if you are ill from other things by staying overweight. I think these are the same people that like to sabotage diets! I always did better on diets by not telling people and just fibbing and saying I wasn't hungry or had already eaten if they bothered me about food.

I have told my kids and few other people who are supportive. No one at work knows because I felt it was my business but they do know I'm having surgery and you can lose weight after surgery. I work at an elementary school and with some very nice people and some not so very nice people. So I feel with privacy laws I did not have to say a thing. Not one person has been non-supportive but I know they are out there. Less than 10 close people know.

I realize you would like support from friends but you can find it with the supportive friends and relatives, sites like this. I know Facebook has a Sleever's site as well. I got off because I saw posts on my feed. I wanted it private. This is a great site so use it to your advantage. Also, I am going to go to the support groups at my hospital once a month. Went to the seminar.

Best of Luck to you and YES, DO IT FOR YOU AND NO ONE ELSE!!!

[janarrt 92]

Please don't be discouraged about these people. This is ALL about YOU!!!! I have had these experiences also, but I stuck to my guns. I am 1 week post op now and couldn't be happier!!! This is your time to shine

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