devastating news has brought me to a screeching halt.

[ella37 455]

I found out 2 weeks ago that my mom has stage IV neck cancer. Ever since then I have just been eating, eating whatever. Obviously my intake is much smaller but I just don't care right now and I'm doing whatever makes me feel better. I'm not staying on plan at all and I feel so bad about it but I guess I'm just using food to comfort myself again.

I know I need to stop. Has anyone else had life hit them in the gut right after surgery and found themselves going back to old habits?

[_Kate_ 2,224]

Im so sorry to hear your news Ella. Make sure you look after yourself and your health, so you can support your Mum.

Hugs

Kate

[DecemberSleeve 18]

I am sorry to hear that you received this awful news. Unfortunately I think many of us can relate to turning to food in times of emotional pain and in the end it just adds to our problems. I think it is good that you recognize what's happening. Perhaps it would help to let your mom's oncologist know that you're having a hard time taking in this news and asking if they can refer you to a counselor who works with cancer patients and their families. I suspect they probably can help you find someone.

[kyboo1972 90]

so very sorry to hear about your mom. Prayers going up. Don't beat yourself up over the food issue and stress yourself out more. It's good you recogonize that you're struggling. I agree... find a counselor or talk to someone at your weight loss center you attended before surgery..a nutritionist or the counselor there, let them know what's going on Take care of yourself sweetie.

[shortyp79 58]

Hey, Ella37 - it's going to be okay. My mom was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer last July. It hit me pretty hard, but i chose to get the surgery BECAUSE of it. I want to improve my lifestyle not onlu for me, but for her, so that I can have the strength and energy it takes to care for her. And believe me, you WILL need the energy. I haven't even had my surgery date given to me yet, but i knownit will absolutely help me to have the energy to help her out when she most needs it. Remember, you want to be healthy.... you want to be here to help her, and you can't do it if you're sick..... wishing you all the best of luck. So very sorry to hear about your mom. You guys can get through this!!

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[butterfly715 17]

I am so sorry to hear about this my mom had colon cancer and she is still here. I know it's devastating and will take a blow at you. But please do not give up on you sis. You are doing this because you decided to live. I'm not being insensitive I'm encouraging you to press and enjoy this time with her. Look at uplifting messages, testimonies and stories that shares how they over came that stage of cancer. Re focus on life and not death sentence!!! You're reaction is real and it's not wrong however you have awareness and go in and eat how much you like just try to eat whole foods. You've come to far to give up I'm sure your mommy will not want this. She wants her baby girl to be all that she can be, she does not want to be the cause of your demise. Her diet will change and that's a good thing , you can show her what you've learned thus far. I'm praying for you and your family ! Stay encouraged , don't give up!

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[butterfly715 17]

Hey, Ella37 - it's going to be okay. My mom was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer last July. It hit me pretty hard, but i chose to get the surgery BECAUSE of it. I want to improve my lifestyle not onlu for me, but for her, so that I can have the strength and energy it takes to care for her. And believe me, you WILL need the energy. I haven't even had my surgery date given to me yet, but i knownit will absolutely help me to have the energy to help her out when she most needs it. Remember, you want to be healthy.... you want to be here to help her, and you can't do it if you're sick..... wishing you all the best of luck. So very sorry to hear about your mom. You guys can get through this!!

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Shortyp79, you and your mom in my prayers as well. Sending love and good vibes your way ! I'm here if you ever need a prayer partner

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[blizair09 3,250]

My dad was diagnosed with stage IV lymphoma and is in the third month of six months of chemo. And we don't know if this will work. So, I understand your stress. I'm sorry, and I hope that everything works out.

It's good that you recognize what is happening, but it is on you to stop it. I suggest talking to a psychologist and a nutritionist. Disrupting your journey isn't going to help your mom at all. You have to change your relationship with food to be successful, surgery or not.

Good luck to you and your family!

[ella37 455]

Thank you so much for all the kind words. I just weighed myself (which I've been afraid to do) and somehow haven't gained any weight, so that was a nice surprise.

Cancer is so scary and it's nice to hear from those who have dealt with this type of situation. It's just hard to think about weight loss when you're sidelined with this kind of news. She seemed perfectly healthy....

[clc9 644]

My dad is going through chemo for aggressive stage IV bladder cancer. I chose to do the surgery knowing what he's facing. I am doing it for myself, but part of me wants him not to have to worry about me and my weight anymore. He couldn't be happier about my decision and is very supportive. Your mom doesn't need to worry any more about you than she already does. So take care of yourself for you and for her.

Echoing therapy. It's very helpful.

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[triplethreat 257]

My father was diagnosed with leukemia two weeks after my surgery. My mother, who is legally blind and obese, became confined to a wheelchair a little more than a month after I had surgery because she can no longer walk due to joint pain.

I intentionally took up other activities so I wouldn't turn to food. I recently learned to knit and made everyone a scarf for Christmas, just to occupy myself. I enrolled in a college class related to my career field just to keep my head occupied with thoughts other than gloom and food. I also spent a lot of time lurking here, focusing on uplifting stories.

I'm so sorry about your mom. SInce you haven't gained weight, you can right back on track. Remember why you had this done in the first place and know that life happens, we can only control our responses to stressors, not the stressors themselves. Big hugs to you. Hang in there.

[triplethreat 257]

I have also thought about my own children and how I would want them to behave in a similar situation and I would absolutely NOT want to be the reason/excuse they use for deviating from their plans. That was a big factor for me as well.

[shortyp79 58]

Hey, Ella37 - it's going to be okay. My mom was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer last July. It hit me pretty hard, but i chose to get the surgery BECAUSE of it. I want to improve my lifestyle not onlu for me, but for her, so that I can have the strength and energy it takes to care for her. And believe me, you WILL need the energy. I haven't even had my surgery date given to me yet, but i knownit will absolutely help me to have the energy to help her out when she most needs it. Remember, you want to be healthy.... you want to be here to help her, and you can't do it if you're sick..... wishing you all the best of luck. So very sorry to hear about your mom. You guys can get through this!!

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

Shortyp79, you and your mom in my prayers as well. Sending love and good vibes your way ! I'm here if you ever need a prayer partner

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Tks, butterfly715... ????????????????

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[Mrs.ChangingTX 51]

My sister/best friend died 4 months before my wls. I almost died a year and a few months after my surgery. The only reason I've got in this is far is constantly remembering the reason I did this to my body. I want to live a healthy, happy and long life. Take care of yourself Ella37 you are the only one who can. Good or bad there will always be a reason to eat.

[larry971 279]

I found out 2 weeks ago that my mom has stage IV neck cancer. Ever since then I have just been eating, eating whatever. Obviously my intake is much smaller but I just don't care right now and I'm doing whatever makes me feel better. I'm not staying on plan at all and I feel so bad about it but I guess I'm just using food to comfort myself again.

I know I need to stop. Has anyone else had life hit them in the gut right after surgery and found themselves going back to old habits?

My mom also has cancer in NC, stage IV throat and tongue. She begged me not to cancel surgery. She has her lymph nodes removed a week from today. She hasn't had anything to eat since August. She has a feeding tube. I was up in the 410's but my official start weight was 406.7. I started the process in late 2014. But we found out my son had cancer. We lost him on July 6th, 2015. I worked for Disney and the low pay was killing us. I got back in the program and had surgery on Sept. 6th, 2016. While I was in surgery my wife cleaned out the house and moved to NC with her parents. So I was basically homeless and fresh from surgery. so I packed my car with all my possessions and came to NC. My daughter is here, so I was going to be too. Now.. I have a fairly nice Apartment,

a good job, have caught up all my bills, money in my pocket, fixing my motorcycle. I spend as much time as possible with my daughter. And I have lost 152lbs. I miss Florida and I will be back..but for now I'm doing good. My mom is doing well as can be expected. And I spend as much time with her as I can to. Larry

Sent from Larry's S7