I hate a lot of you. I really do.

[coastlgrl 0]

Mary Jane - You go girl! There isn't a man alive worth having if he doesn't treat you with dignity and respect! Keep up the good work and show him the door!

[coastlgrl 0]

In my younger and skinnier days I used to model lingerie. I was beautiful. I was thin, pretty, pretty features, great hair, the works. I had it all, so I thought.

Today I'm fat. While I'm losing weight I discovered that I got old while I was fat. The rooster thing going on under my chin, the fine wrinkles forming around my eyes... I guess my point is that I've experienced both sides of the coin and I'm fully aware that I'll never be that lingerie model again.

In the end, I just don't think it matters. If you are a nice person and a good person people don't say... "Well, she's fugly but very nice." They say, "Wow, she's such a nice person and I *really* like her!" I think as adults we need to get a grip on the mentality of pretty vs. a good person. Others have, it's time we do too. Every person is their own worst critic, but we fatties have different issues and we are more than our own worst critic. In the end, it just doesn't matter what someone looks like.

I know my writing style doesn't always show it but I really am a nice person in real time. I just suck at writing and I bottom line everything. It's my way, I've tried to change it but I just flower it up and the last sentence of what I am writing is STILL the bottom line so it looks silly. The point is that I am a good person. I am a much better person than when I was thin and pretty.

Lately I keep thinking about myself when I am old and gray, sitting in my rocking chair. What do I want people to think of when they think of me? How do I want to look back on my life?

Years from now I want to be a very wise old woman. I want to have compassion for others. I want to have little children that want to come over to my house because I'm the cool little old lady down the street. I want to understand where others are coming from, I want to live vicariously through the lives of everyone around me.

I want to continue reading and learning about EVERYTHING! There are few things that I don't want to know more about. I want to continue learning about different cultures, religions, ways of thinking, the works.

Do my looks make a bit of difference in my goals in life? Nope, not in the least.

Wow! That was incredible! Thanks you! I really mean that! Very touching!

[Janeykins 0]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Did'cha ever see pictures of the "stars" without their make-up??? Pretty U-G-L-Y.

Get thyself to a make-up artist.

Or become a muslim.

[Wheetsin 714]

Anyone can be smokin' with a celeb's make-up and hair artist.

At its roots, beauty is about symmetry and proportion. The more symmetrical the face, the more it pleases us (insert lots of brain & chemical reactions here). That's why beauty consultants (I'm guessing any hair stylists out there probably give the same advice) advise people to never part their hair in the middle. The middle/symmetrical part will actually draw attention to the asymmetry of the face. (Shannon Doherty is a prime example of this - and that's why most of her shots are taken with her head at an angle - she's very asymmetrical).

Proportion works in 3 ways. One is the proportion of features themselves to the face overall. E.g. a small face with an oversized nose, or Jay Leno's chin. Two is the placement proportion - things being evenly spaced, and where we expect them to be. E.g. you notice quickly when someone's eyes are closer together than normal, or when there's more than average space between someone's nose and their mouth. Three is balance proportion. E.g. Steven Tyler's mouth being so big compared to the rest of his features.

Three does a lot for interpreting mood, too.

I have big eyes, a small mouth, and fairly thin lips. People often tell me that on first sight I "look" mean or mad. Probably because the proportion of my features mimics the proportion of features when someone is angry/scowling.

My husband has a large mouth, very full lips, and small (because they're set deep) eyes. People tell him he looks friendly & approachable. Probably because his features mimic someone who is laughing.

[purplegirl1818 1]

i totally understand. ive been overwieght since kindergarden. i am scarred to death that im going to be 'skinny' and still be ugly. i dont think i could take it. but i mean ive never seen my real face so to speak. im almost 17 years old and i really want to see it, but ive talked to some people that i trust about my fear and they dont think ill be ugly at least... but i guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[mbanja 1]

Purplegirl, congrats on your weightloss. I am so glad you are doing this young. Not only will you be smokin hot in college you will also learn the proper way to eat. So many teenage girls have no self esteem what so ever and I know this is a hard age you are at. In no time at all boys will be all over you!! Use your head and be smart! Have a life before you start a family you will appriciate you experiences so much more. Congrats again and good luck on your journey to beautiful womanhood!!

[purplegirl1818 1]

well thank you so much, i really do thank you. everyone on here is so supportive of everyone else, its amazing sometimes. i was just weighed in monday and im down 35lbs! i was so excited

[Sades 4]

I think that I can say that I have never felt 'ugly'. What I mean is that even at my heaviest - I never let it keep me from strutting around like I was the cats meow. Low self esteem hasn't ever been an issue for me. I grew up with parents and family who always let me know that I was worthy, that I was beautiful, that I was SOMEONE (regardless of size). Now that doesn't go without saying that I didn't KNOW that I was fat/am fat. There is also nothing worse than hearing "You're so pretty, if you'd only loose the weight". THE weight. THE weight. Uh huh. I've always felt that there are too many people in the world that will put you down. And I never wanted to be one of them.

I never had issues with my looks ... only the weight ... all my life I got that phrase as well "You're so pretty, it's a shame you can't lose some weight" ... not much of a compliment since it negates anything nice said !!! One thing I have learnt over the years is that looks are important to most people but beauty is still in the eyes of the beholder. We see things in people that draw us to them ... usually a combination of looks, personality and that twinkle in their eye. I'm still waiting for the right person to see the twinkle !!

[TracyinKS 7]

I firmly beleive that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN ON THIS EARTH has atleast ONE endearing feature!

A positive attitude can make the otherwise average feature RADIATE!

I just made an orthodontia appointment for myself.. I've decided that I'm going to straighten out all the work and hard earned money my mom spent on my teeth as a kid..... (I didn't wear the retainer AFTER braces and now my teeth have shifted... so I'm going to see about getting them fixed) Had I not resumed my former confidence I wouldn't of cared enough to do this.........

Look at my preop pic....... I WAS MISERABLE! I am no longer that woman... I am getting BACK to my former self... and average looks aside................. I AM FREAKING ON FIRE!

shakeit shakeit shakeit!

[Mischievous1 6]

I think that I can say that I have never felt 'ugly'. What I mean is that even at my heaviest - I never let it keep me from strutting around like I was the cats meow. Low self esteem hasn't ever been an issue for me. I grew up with parents and family who always let me know that I was worthy, that I was beautiful, that I was SOMEONE (regardless of size). Now that doesn't go without saying that I didn't KNOW that I was fat/am fat. There is also nothing worse than hearing "You're so pretty, if you'd only loose the weight". THE weight. THE weight. Uh huh. I've always felt that there are too many people in the world that will put you down. And I never wanted to be one of them.

I have heard a version of that alot in my lifetime "you'd be so pretty if you'd lose some weight" well that would just tick me off and make me eat to spite them! Ya' know?

[lindata 1]

Gibson, okay, this probably won't help you and you'll probably feel like puking when I'm done - BUT, and I kid you not, to me (even when I was thin and pretty and popular), pretty people weren't pretty unless they were genuinely nice people. There were a lot of 'gorgeous' people around who I found to be greatly unattractive because of their horrible personality. It was like I could always detect this in people the moment I met them - maybe this 'talent' for seeing this is some kind of residual gypsyness left in me, I don't know - but I swear to God it's true. I ALWAYS find the most attractive people are the ones that are truly nice, talented, the ones that want to help others, that truly care for others, the ones that have fun and have a great personality and make me laugh. Really. I'm not making this up. My hairdresser, who is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen (could be a movie star), I actually like because she is a genuinely NICE person. There aren't many gorgeous people I know who I like because they know they're hot and they have a horrible personality. Does all this help? I don't know. I just know that when you're content with yourself and love yourself and know you're a good person, other people can see that in you.

Linda

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I agree that as women we have a really hard time with our body issues.

I am sorry that you are not happy with yourself! You are gorgeous inside and out, we all are NO MATTER what! Enjoy who you are, you deserve to be happy!

[green 6]

Oooh, I had a real lot of trouble with body issues and self-loathing when I was young. I finally got all that stuff sorted out and began to feel very self-confident and then a few years later I became post-menopausally fat and now I am back to sorting my body issues out all over again! Life continues to be a learning curve, eh.

[Jachut 487]

Oh gosh, dont remind me.

Fat has crept up on me mostly at major life events (births of babies specifically) not as a constant thing. At 40, my next major life event is probably menopause, lol (though hopefully a way away yet!). I have given lots of time to hoping I can maintain this loss past menopause.

Because when I look at women who I think look fabulous in their 50's and 60's that I would like to emulate as I get older the one thing they have in common is a youthful figure. Its not about keeping flowing blond locks that you can flick around or having 20 facelifts to look like some macarbe impersonation of a 30 year old, its that around the middle weight gain that to me identifies women as old or middle aged. Those that stay slim always look more youthful to me, even if they've aged completely normally skin wise.

I fear looking "old" more than anything I think, I dont need to be stunning or beautiful, I just want to maintain that fit, healthy and vital look becuase that's what I think is really attractive, not beauty itself which fades for everyone.

And that is entirely within MY control. I will be that 70 year old woman still running. That makes me feel good about myself regardless of what I actually look like.