I hate a lot of you. I really do.

[krinannie 0]

Haven't ya noticed that people you do not know are either pretty or not so pretty. But people you know are pretty based on WHO they are? Soem seemingly unattractive individuals become down right striking when their personality is matched to their face. Some get real ugly once they open their mouths. I bet you fall far closer to striking than the other end of the spectrum.

[MissMom24 2]

I agree, we are always so much harder on ourselves than others view us. Like someone said before, you are probably average. There are things I am sure that you like about yourself, if you really think about it. For me, I love my teeth, I HATE the dark circles under my eyes.

Everyone is different, find something you love about yourself and embrace it!

Brandy

[catzintj 1]

every single pretty women i know doesnt think she is all that. i think feeling pretty has to come from within yourself. somedays i feel super hot and some days i feel ugly. i am thankful that i have a great family and make good money and for all the things i have in my life. its good that we can vent here .... sometimes i want to choke my sister. she is perfect and tiny and she whines that she is so fat. she hasnt been fat a day in her life. she buys all the clothes that are so tiny that they are on sale..... i have a better self image than she does and ive never been a size 1 .

[sherilynn 1]

I think that I can say that I have never felt 'ugly'. What I mean is that even at my heaviest - I never let it keep me from strutting around like I was the cats meow. Low self esteem hasn't ever been an issue for me. I grew up with parents and family who always let me know that I was worthy, that I was beautiful, that I was SOMEONE (regardless of size). Now that doesn't go without saying that I didn't KNOW that I was fat/am fat. There is also nothing worse than hearing "You're so pretty, if you'd only loose the weight". THE weight. THE weight. Uh huh. I've always felt that there are too many people in the world that will put you down. And I never wanted to be one of them.

[kacee 3]

I used to think I was pretty goofy looking, especially compared to my little sister who was gorgeous. But recently I was looking at some videos taken back in the early 80's over the holidays and I remember thinking "Who is that PRETTY girl???" about a nano-second before I realized it was ME! We are all our own WORST critic. I complain that I have a "ball" on the end of my nose and people laugh and say it looks really cute. Now granted, my hair DID look like crap for 50 years, and I fought that frizzy mess my whole life....until the advent of the flat Iron (YIPPPEEE!!!). I've always hated my thighs...even when I was 113 pounds. I look at it this way. If there is something about you that you despise and you have the resources to do something about it to make yourself feel better...go for it! I fully intend to get my neck tightened in the next two years, get some Lipo on the saddlebags... It will all be done to please ME and ME alone.

[Wheetsin 714]

Perceived beauty and self esteem aren't necessarily interdependent. I don't think I'm pretty (clarifying that I'm talking purely about physical beauty). I don't think I'm the ugliest person ever, but I don't think I would stand out as a pretty face. I think people are more likely to look at me and think nothing, than look at me and think "she's cute." On a 1 - 10 I'd probably put myself around a 3.5, maybe a 4. BUT, my self esteem is good. I just understand that "good looks" are as random as anything else, and some people will get them, some will not, and except for drastic and expensive measures, there's little I can really do about it. Just like long legs, big boobs, or any other natural attribute.

And trust me, there are a lot lot ot of beautiful women who have lower self esteem than anyone here.

Feeling good is key. If you feel good about who you are, it radiates. It truly does. And feeling good can be influenced by "superficial" factors. Schlep around in sweats, or put on a cute skirt & heels, do your hair -- and you're going to feel better. And because you feel better, you will project better. I've seen depressions overcome without medication, just by changing the circumstances and presentations. It really is powerful stuff.

[Pattypoo1 0]

When I was in high school I was not pretty at all. As I have gotten older, I feel that I am not that bad. I developed a great personality to counter the looks, so everyone loved me for that, they got past the blah blah face. Now I feel like I am the life of the party...I smile all the time and laugh a lot. My face is my face, you can oly do so much. People like you for who you are...inside...You don't want friends who are superficial and fake. It's all in your attitude. If you develop a great attitude your face will glow, and that in and of itself will make you beautiful and attractive. Nobody wants to hang around a sour pus.

I am probably a 4 out of 10. BUT I have a great sense of humor. I keep my hair shaped and colored. I wear makeup. I think I look great for 47, people always think I am much much younger. That's my secret. Attitude babe, Attitude.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

In my younger and skinnier days I used to model lingerie. I was beautiful. I was thin, pretty, pretty features, great hair, the works. I had it all, so I thought.

Today I'm fat. While I'm losing weight I discovered that I got old while I was fat. The rooster thing going on under my chin, the fine wrinkles forming around my eyes... I guess my point is that I've experienced both sides of the coin and I'm fully aware that I'll never be that lingerie model again.

In the end, I just don't think it matters. If you are a nice person and a good person people don't say... "Well, she's fugly but very nice." They say, "Wow, she's such a nice person and I *really* like her!" I think as adults we need to get a grip on the mentality of pretty vs. a good person. Others have, it's time we do too. Every person is their own worst critic, but we fatties have different issues and we are more than our own worst critic. In the end, it just doesn't matter what someone looks like.

I know my writing style doesn't always show it but I really am a nice person in real time. I just suck at writing and I bottom line everything. It's my way, I've tried to change it but I just flower it up and the last sentence of what I am writing is STILL the bottom line so it looks silly. The point is that I am a good person. I am a much better person than when I was thin and pretty.

Lately I keep thinking about myself when I am old and gray, sitting in my rocking chair. What do I want people to think of when they think of me? How do I want to look back on my life?

Years from now I want to be a very wise old woman. I want to have compassion for others. I want to have little children that want to come over to my house because I'm the cool little old lady down the street. I want to understand where others are coming from, I want to live vicariously through the lives of everyone around me.

I want to continue reading and learning about EVERYTHING! There are few things that I don't want to know more about. I want to continue learning about different cultures, religions, ways of thinking, the works.

Do my looks make a bit of difference in my goals in life? Nope, not in the least.

[Gibson 7]

What fantastic responses! Huge thanks to everyone who posted. It sounds like the solution to my problem is to...

A. Focus on my personality (Which I do happen to think is pretty great!) and

B. Save every penny I have (then rob a bank) so I can have LOTS OF PLASTIC SURGERY!!!!!!!

=)

Your posts reminded me of something that I "overcame" a few years ago. I hate my smile. When I laugh, or smile my gums BEAM out of my face and every single tooth shows. I used to hide my smile and when cameras came out I never, ever smiled a genuine smile. Then I had this revelation that anyone who was taking a picture of me in the first place probably loved me and didn't give a rat's bum about my jacked up smile so I may as well just let 'er rip! Since then I've had some very genuine pictures taken and learned a lesson on top of that!

[kacee 3]

Years ago in college I worked at a top end steak house with a bunch of other college kids. It was heaven on earth! One of the waiters was a guy named Buck who was short and a little funny looking (definitely not your "GQ" kinda guy). However, he had the most insane sense of humor (I always wonder if he went professional as a comedian) fantastic personality and that boy could DANCE! When the bunch of us got off work and went clubbing...guess who stood in line to fight to be with Buck! Every one of us girls. His personality made him one of the most popular people in the restaurant, with employees and patrons. He was never wanting for dates. To this day, when I remember back at all the kids I worked with, Buck's face comes to mind and with it a wonderful glow inside me and a smile on my face remembering this fantastic guy....who most girls would have passed on the street without a second glance....

[mbanja 1]

I agree with Mary Jane get a makeover. Put your trust into someone trustworthy and let them do your hair and makeup. I am the kinda person who stays with safe haircuts and makeup. If you are anything like me, go wild! Let the hairdresser take over, tell her you want something to wow people with. Just remember if your face looks like a full moon, like mine does, don't go too short! Keep it just below the chin or a little longer. Get some high and low lights and try new makeup. There are women at the department stores just dying to do people up. Get a wild new hair cut, then go to the mall and get a makeover. Then strut your stuff around the mall (sholders back, head up), while getting some exercise, you can turn some heads!

[mbanja 1]

I believe beauty is 50% confidance and 50% personality.

[Ang1982 4]

For the record my dear, you are much to hard on yourself. You are a very cute, yes pretty, lady and you need to cut yourself some slack :confused:

Perceived beauty and self esteem aren't necessarily interdependent. I don't think I'm pretty (clarifying that I'm talking purely about physical beauty). I don't think I'm the ugliest person ever, but I don't think I would stand out as a pretty face. I think people are more likely to look at me and think nothing, than look at me and think "she's cute." On a 1 - 10 I'd probably put myself around a 3.5, maybe a 4. BUT, my self esteem is good. I just understand that "good looks" are as random as anything else, and some people will get them, some will not, and except for drastic and expensive measures, there's little I can really do about it. Just like long legs, big boobs, or any other natural attribute.

And trust me, there are a lot lot ot of beautiful women who have lower self esteem than anyone here.

Feeling good is key. If you feel good about who you are, it radiates. It truly does. And feeling good can be influenced by "superficial" factors. Schlep around in sweats, or put on a cute skirt & heels, do your hair -- and you're going to feel better. And because you feel better, you will project better. I've seen depressions overcome without medication, just by changing the circumstances and presentations. It really is powerful stuff.

[Jeni 85 0]

I think that I can say that I have never felt 'ugly'. What I mean is that even at my heaviest - I never let it keep me from strutting around like I was the cats meow. Low self esteem hasn't ever been an issue for me. I grew up with parents and family who always let me know that I was worthy, that I was beautiful, that I was SOMEONE (regardless of size). Now that doesn't go without saying that I didn't KNOW that I was fat/am fat. There is also nothing worse than hearing "You're so pretty, if you'd only loose the weight". THE weight. THE weight. Uh huh. I've always felt that there are too many people in the world that will put you down. And I never wanted to be one of them.

That phrase sums up my life... everyone used to always say that to me....

Im ow starting to hear omg jeni did you loose weight , or jen your looking good... such a boost in the self-esteem which i desperately needed...

I have always been overweight and to tell you truthfully i can't even imaging myself as thin.... But dammit i will get there... and after that im already plan on having a Tummy Tuck and booby lift... New hair cut style make-up and clothes- (i think any plastic surgery on the face is to drastic... i Like my face the way it is... maybe a little less rounded... but with further weight loss it will get to where i want it to be!!!

(i watch so many ps shows that i think i'd be able to peform one lol.:heh:.. but i get a little sqeemish when they do face lifts and eyes!!!!

[Jachut 487]

It can be really really hard finding your style. But everyone has something going for them. Its as much about how you dress and present yourself too, when I think about people I admire its becuase they have a really great style and way of presenting themselves at their best.

I'm sad because I'm aging. To finally have a body that I can bare in a bikini (yes, I DID IT!!!! just last week) but my face is getting old and my skin is not what it used to be. Sigh. I didnt make anyone sick by strutting around in a bikini, but I wasnt turning heads either. That's OK by me. But I'm 40, and I will never be 18 again. I wasted so much of my youthful beauty being fat.

I just want to be the best I can be at any age. No way do I want to look like a Hollywood Freak, lifted, botoxed and tightened. That is really ugly in my opinion. It is so true that being comfortable with what you are is really sexy.

I just fear getting old, dowdy and "sensible". Because beauty is in celebrating yourself and I never want to decide that now is the time to cover up or not wear this, or not do that.

I'm not particularly pretty, I'm just average, and most of us are. But its in our style and our actions that we make ourselves attractive, nobody scrutinises our actual looks the way we do to ourselves.