Sisterly sabotage

[JaneDarcy 9]

My sister lives with me and she can pull me off in to the deep end with a snap of her fingers. I'm pre op and I'm really trying to get on track with my diet. And it seems like when ever I do get a handle on things my sister comes in with these ideas to get bad foods/fast food. I've tried to say no but if she mentions something enough times I can't help myself I'm drooling over it and I also feel bad telling her no. I need help, advice. I'm desperate. Who's gone through this and how did you deal? Tia

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[Madmanpbsgc 94]

My sister lives with me and she can pull me off in to the deep end with a snap of her fingers. I'm pre op and I'm really trying to get on track with my diet. And it seems like when ever I do get a handle on things my sister comes in with these ideas to get bad foods/fast food. I've tried to say no but if she mentions something enough times I can't help myself I'm drooling over it and I also feel bad telling her no. I need help, advice. I'm desperate. Who's gone through this and how did you deal? Tia

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

you have to find a way to say no or invite her to try healthier options or if you visit those unhealthy spots order from the healthier menu. what i find to work is iviting the to help you cook you will still have the bonding time while cooking and you wont fall off your diet.

[Travelher 915]

Agree that you need to get a handle on this now, if you don't you aren't ready for surgery. Nobody other than you can sabotage you. My husband and my son still eat chips and popcorn and pizza, dessert etc, but I don't.

Is it hard sometimes? Um yeah!!!

Was it hard cooking thanksgiving dinner 5 days post op while still on liquids? Totally!

Did I want to bop my husband on the head and steal his popcorn when he made a batch of delicious hot buttered popcorn and then proceeded to eat it in front of me? You betcha!

So here is what I did/do to cope...

Thanksgiving dinner...made a Bari friendly full liquids Soup with chicken bouilllon and some of the thanksgiving sides and turkey. It felt and tasted like thanksgiving dinner

With the popcorn, I left the room and had a nice long bath and ranted on here with my iPad.

Christmas dinner at my mom's...I cleared and cleaned up while dessert was being served.

Other things I do is make Bari friendly versions of what my family are eating. Zucchini noodle Pasta etc. Pinterest is your friend.

The other thing you need to do is address your sister head on. When she is engaging in behaviour that is self destructive or feels like sabotage tell her (she can keep her ideas to herself). Separate yourself. Do what you have to do to be successful.

Your other option is to do what you always have and stay at your current weight.

Edited January 21, 2017 by Travelher

[blizair09 3,250]

I echo everything that @@Travelher just said. The mental game is the biggest part of this journey, and beginning to change your relationship with food and being able to deal with the mental challenges pre-op is vital to success post-op.

Good luck!

[FunkyMunkyBrat 205]

Sounds like for some reason (jealousy?) your sister wants to sabotage you.. I agree with everything @@Travelher said.. If you don't have the willpower to resist you might as well cancel the surgery because it will do you no good until you ready to be strong and make changes

Munky

[pvechiola 195]

My whole family won't even talk to me about it. I've let them know I was doing it, and I just let their snide remarks roll off my back, my family won't even be going to the hospital when I have the surgery, quit letting your sister discouraged you because I feel if she gets you to eat enough bad foods you will start to doubt your decision, I think she's jealous and maybe overweight herself that could be why she's trying to sabotage you. My family does it every day for this last year because I was talking about it before I decided to do It. I've worked hard taking busses to and from the hospital for nutritionist classes and the tests , I have two more classes to go to and hoping to have my surgery in May. Good luck don't let anyone get in your way. Keep looking straight ahead.

[blizair09 3,250]

My family is FAR from perfect. But they would never behave in the ways that have been mentioned in this thread. I can't even imagine treating someone I love with such disdain. I am very sorry for everyone that is having to work through this incredibly difficult journey without the familial support you need and deserve.

[char3672 292]

I'm really lucky. My family has been so supportive (I hope they are that way after my surgery when I get cranky lol) I live with my mom, sister, bro in law and 2 nieces. My mom n sister want to eat healthier and exercise with me, and my nieces want to be my "trainers" I am having surgery in June, I couldn't do it without them.

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

[shedo82773 1,236]

My family are usually pretty good about what I eat. But...lately the ? of the day when we all get together for dinner is NANA are you even going to eat? You usually don't or can't eat what we are!! BUT...it does kind of get under my skin. Just because I have had problems before and really couldn't eat everything they were, doesn't mean I can't eat now. LOL It's all GOOD tho!! LOL You need to take a stand now because it won'tbget any easier telling her NO. Good Luck

[Vinasu 621]

I'm really lucky. My family has been so supportive (I hope they are that way after my surgery when I get cranky lol) I live with my mom, sister, bro in law and 2 nieces. My mom n sister want to eat healthier and exercise with me, and my nieces want to be my "trainers" I am having surgery in June, I couldn't do it without them.

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

It's almost like our house! Here it's me, mom, sister, brother, husband, and my 2 kids!

My family wasn't so supportive, though. They're getting over it a bit now, though they're still snarky when I say I can't eat something, like it's a personal affront.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

[char3672 292]

I'm really lucky. My family has been so supportive (I hope they are that way after my surgery when I get cranky lol) I live with my mom, sister, bro in law and 2 nieces. My mom n sister want to eat healthier and exercise with me, and my nieces want to be my "trainers" I am having surgery in June, I couldn't do it without them.

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

It's almost like our house! Here it's me, mom, sister, brother, husband, and my 2 kids!

My family wasn't so supportive, though. They're getting over it a bit now, though they're still snarky when I say I can't eat something, like it's a personal affront.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

I think my family is genuinely afraid for me. I had lost 108lbs on my own a few years ago, and they got to see a MUCH healthier happier me. I have been "morbidly obese" most of my life. During the time I was still losing, I switched jobs, my sister was diagnosed with cancer, I was laid off and my sister passed away. I gained most of the weight back, and so I am back to the un-healthy sad version of "me". They want the other person back, and so do I, so they are willing to do whatever is necessary to help me find her again! Good luck, I can be a support person for you if you need someone. I'm not having surgery until June, so I don't know how much help I can be.

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App