Well meaning, but misguided spouse.

[walklady 31]

I live with and care for my 81yo father. He is about the least supportive person I know. All my life he has "fat shamed" me, thinking that would motivate me to lose weight. He says he supports my decision to have wls but he expects me to continue to cook for him in the way he is accustomed and he also likes to have sweet treats in the house. I am totally addicted to sugar and if it's sitting around I cannot resist it. Not sure what I'm going to do about it.

*Praise God, from whom all Blessings flow*

Hi Margie! I'm kinda in the same boat with you! I have told my hubby that if he wants sweets to leave the house to go get it and eat it away from the house too or keep it at work but don't bring it home! He says "well just don't eat it!" Well that doesn't work for a sugar addict! We have had quite a few arguments about it! I have talked to him numerous times about how he is sabotaging my weight loss. He does better for awhile but slowly starts it again. Maybe once I have the surgery he will stop! I had him go to the seminar with me. He has done a little better. Guess we will see if we have to have more "come to Jesus" meetings! Good luck on your journey! Melissa

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[Newme17 3,444]

I'm 9 days pre-op and my husband just keeps saying things like "I hope it (the surgery) makes you happy" and "don't be doing it (the surgery) for me" and still expects me to not only cook dinner for him and our son every night, but gets kind of offended when I eat my one, tiny, pre-op diet allowed meal BEFORE they sit down to eat dinner and doesn't seem to understand why I won't sit down with them anymore and watch them eat delicious things I can't have that was extremely hard for me to even cook for then in the first place. When I say I don't want to watch them eat what I can't have he gets kind of upset... like he gets a, "oh, Jesus... is this how it's going to be from now on?" attitude... it's NOT easy :-(

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I haven't had my surgery yet, but I read what seems to be what my husband will be like even though he fully supports me. Hmmm....I think I'll be having some meaningful conversations with him before this is a go. Blessings to you hon!

[Paulaski 26]

I am sixty and married 39 years in March. Yes, you have to do this for you!!! My husband is very supportive. I had my rny gastric bypass on Jan. 10th. Hopefully you attend al anon to deal with your husband's alcoholism. I do know something about the disease. I have been a recovering alcoholic for 29 years and my husband a recovering addict for the same time. Reach out to those in your support system. Feel free too contact me if I can help. Good luck. Prayers your way. Paula

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[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

I am sixty and married 39 years in March. Yes, you have to do this for you!!! My husband is very supportive. I had my rny gastric bypass on Jan. 10th. Hopefully you attend al anon to deal with your husband's alcoholism. I do know something about the disease. I have been a recovering alcoholic for 29 years and my husband a recovering addict for the same time. Reach out to those in your support system. Feel free too contact me if I can help. Good luck. Prayers your way. Paula

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My husband isn't an alcoholic. He is a disabled former law enforcement officer with a brain condition.

It is my friends husband who is an alcoholic, and trust me... they have been fighting that battle for 10+ years.

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[georgiemomma8 3]

I've only just started this process (hoping for surgery this summer) but already it's been an adventure with my boyfriend. We've had a bunch of discussions about my goals and motivations and I've warned him that I'm changing my lifestyle. If he wants to stay a big part of my life he's going to have to change his as well, lol. He's being a good sport so far, he's quitting smoking and has stopped "helpfully" bringing me sodas and treats, and he's agreed to try dancing! He's decided that if I'm going to do this thing he's going to get healthy too, which I'm all for! I hadn't thought about the other ramifications of the liquid diet phase, though. I'm the primary cook in our household and I'm already worried about that part since I'm not emotionally satisfied by food I don't chew. Well, maybe it'll be leftovers and PBJ's for a couple weeks!

I have to reply, only because I am a mom and wife and cook all the time, and I love to cook. I was so worried about cooking after the surgery and how it would make me feel jealous or starving knowing I couldn't eat what they did. I had surgery 1/11/17. I've been cooking since 5 days after I got home and it's going well. The smell doesn't bother me, and they appreciate it. Trying out a bunch of healthyou recipes on them before I can eat so we can all do it together ( Once I can have real food in 3 more weeks). Good luck

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[sissiegirl 33]

I think she might have been sending that msg to me

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[MissJDVSG 129]

I live with and care for my 81yo father. He is about the least supportive person I know. All my life he has "fat shamed" me, thinking that would motivate me to lose weight. He says he supports my decision to have wls but he expects me to continue to cook for him in the way he is accustomed and he also likes to have sweet treats in the house. I am totally addicted to sugar and if it's sitting around I cannot resist it. Not sure what I'm going to do about it.

*Praise God, from whom all Blessings flow*

I'm so sorry about your situation. I don't have a solution, but if you ever need to talk, send me a message.

I'm sending prayers your way.

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