Well meaning, but misguided spouse.

[Gary Bentz 102]

My spouse is a dear, fully supporting me in my efforts to get healthy again. Here in MA it is about 20 degrees out. Biting cold. Well, I got a nice fire going on in the backyard and invited her to join me! No too cold she said. Ok so I'll enjoy it while you watch TV.

I went in the house just now, she hugged me and said, "I should have come out, that was awfully nice of you." Awe, I truly love that girl.

I went back out and she just called me in because she was making a nice supper for me. M mmmm!

Potatoe Soup with bacon and onions. bread sticks on the side!

I do love that girl, but we've quite a ways to go VSG wise....????

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

[happyteacher 8]

Lol, that was literally my dinner tonight. What are the odds! I am five years out though in maintenance so it is Ok, glad you are staying the path!

[Gary Bentz 102]

Hey, I'm teacher too! Well, special needs paraprofessional. Best job I ever had.

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

[Gary Bentz 102]

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

[MargieB723 13]

Hey just think...this time next year that shadow will be shrinking!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using the BariatricPal App

[lacylou 21]

I'm from the South Shore (MA). I am 10 days away from my surgery date and I have had some very meaningful conversations with my husband about how things will be for us post-surgery. I promised to never say, "Are you really going to eat that?" or "You ate the whole thing?" This is my food issue not his but... he knows I will need his help. Vacations can not revolve around food and drink anymore, buffets are are on possibly permanent hold when we are together, and he can't "feed me" anymore.

The nice thing about the timing of surgery for me is that he is going to diet with me (and he is the disciplined one). My surgery is going to benefit us both but I will not make him change his eating habits for me unless he wants to for himself. I only request and require his support.

He is a great guy and I know he will do his best. He knows we will both have to adjust and he is all in!

Clearly your wife loves you but she needs to adapt as well. (We had a fire inside today watching some great football).

Go Pats!

[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

I'm 9 days pre-op and my husband just keeps saying things like "I hope it (the surgery) makes you happy" and "don't be doing it (the surgery) for me" and still expects me to not only cook dinner for him and our son every night, but gets kind of offended when I eat my one, tiny, pre-op diet allowed meal BEFORE they sit down to eat dinner and doesn't seem to understand why I won't sit down with them anymore and watch them eat delicious things I can't have that was extremely hard for me to even cook for then in the first place. When I say I don't want to watch them eat what I can't have he gets kind of upset... like he gets a, "oh, Jesus... is this how it's going to be from now on?" attitude... it's NOT easy :-(

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App

[MargieB723 13]

I live with and care for my 81yo father. He is about the least supportive person I know. All my life he has "fat shamed" me, thinking that would motivate me to lose weight. He says he supports my decision to have wls but he expects me to continue to cook for him in the way he is accustomed and he also likes to have sweet treats in the house. I am totally addicted to sugar and if it's sitting around I cannot resist it. Not sure what I'm going to do about it.

*Praise God, from whom all Blessings flow*

[lacylou 21]

Judygrim708, I understand that you want what is best for your husband. Was your experience so bad it has completely turned him off to the idea? WLS is clearly not for everyone. I hope he reconsiders though. Sounds like he would be a good candidate with his co-morbidities. He needs to do this for himself but it sure would benefit you too. Less worry and more life.

My husband has never said anything about my weight (probably glass house and all) but when I told him I was gong to have WLS, it was instant support. Either he was secretly hoping all along I would do more about my weight and that it really bothered him or... he knows he could never talk me out of it and just went with it. Either way, I have his support.

[sissiegirl 33]

I have been thinking about all this too. I know my hubby loves me and he's all for it. I wonder if it is more about it or me. He has never had weight issues. I think he has been ashamed of me at times. He is a functioning alcoholic and could sometimes be very cruel. Not to take the blame away from myself, but a lot of this has stemmed from that. But after 37 yrs and me being 65, a little late, but guess what, I'm doing something for me. I will try to keep his life disrupted as much as possible, but if it is going to put a monkey wrench in what I need, not happening. Sometimes I think that they worry about just not being number one. It won't last long. They can be number 2 long enough for me to take care of my battle. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I just think sometimes you have to be first to yourself. We all only have one life.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[sissiegirl 33]

What is VSG??

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[kmalcom28 29]

I've struggled with my weight my entire adult life. My husband has always wanted me to lose the weight but always seemed to sabotage in some way. Now he's gained weight and has finally jumped on board with me. Problem is we are learning that he has absolutely no idea what healthy eating is so he's being a good sport and is learning.

[Gary Bentz 102]

What is VSG??

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

[Iona 23]

I've only just started this process (hoping for surgery this summer) but already it's been an adventure with my boyfriend. We've had a bunch of discussions about my goals and motivations and I've warned him that I'm changing my lifestyle. If he wants to stay a big part of my life he's going to have to change his as well, lol. He's being a good sport so far, he's quitting smoking and has stopped "helpfully" bringing me sodas and treats, and he's agreed to try dancing! He's decided that if I'm going to do this thing he's going to get healthy too, which I'm all for! I hadn't thought about the other ramifications of the liquid diet phase, though. I'm the primary cook in our household and I'm already worried about that part since I'm not emotionally satisfied by food I don't chew. Well, maybe it'll be leftovers and PBJ's for a couple weeks!

[walklady 31]

Hey, I'm teacher too! Well, special needs paraprofessional. Best job I ever had.

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

Hi Gary, I am Melissa! I am a Special Education para as well! I consider myself a teacher too. I'm down here in Louisiana. Good luck on your journey!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App