Telling kids?

[SarahSleeve 170]

Hi all!

Getting close to surgery and throughout this process I've only told my kids (8 & 10) that the reason for my many appts is that the doctor is helping me lose weight. I have no clue what I'm going to say to them about my hospital stay/recovery. The 8 year old would accept a simple "the doctor had to fix something in my belly" explanation, but the 10 year old is much more likely to want details. I think I'm going to just stick with the simple explanation and tell them it's nothing to worry about, but I don't want to scare them either way. I've already drastically changed my eating habits so that shouldn't be anything new to them.

For those with kids - what did you tell them?

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[c86mc 24]

I have a 6 year old and 10 year old. From the mo.ent my appointments and classes started I told them the truth. In full detail. (Not saying that what you're doing is wrong).. they were worried at first, but they had lots of time to get used to it and ask all the questions they wanted. By the time surgery came around they were more than prepared.

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[tani 105]

I told my 21 and 16 yr old the truth. But my 11 yr old, I told her there's something in my stomach that has to be removed so I can be healthy, because she already knew I had tummy issues prior to surgery (I had polyps on the portion of the stomach being removed. Not cancer thankfully).

[dd2017 5]

I have health problems such as diabetes, RA, high blood pressure, and sleep apnea. My 11 and 7 year old know about these problems, so I told them I am having surgery on my stomach to help me lose weight and that will help make my health problems better.

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[MowryRocks 679]

I have a 9 year old and a 12 year old. I was 100% honest with them and answered all of their questions honestly (Just what I did...not judging). It has made for a closer relationship with my kids because they understand that I am taking steps to be more present and involved in their lives. They are very aware of why we don't do things like go for pizza, as often. my 12 year old struggles with her weight as I did at her age. It has allowed us to have deeper conversations about making good choices now to avoid the struggle later.

[SarahSleeve 170]

Oh, I haven't lied! They haven't asked beyond "why do you have so many appts?" - and I say "my doctor is helping me lose weight so I can be healthier". I just haven't gone into detail on what I'm leading up to yet

Thanks for the replies!

[Tufflaw 465]

I have a 4 and 6 year old. The 4 year old was 3 when I started my 6 month diet. She likes to sit on my lap and lay on my "belly pillow". I told her when I started the diet that in a little while my belly pillow was going to get a lot smaller. She asked me why and I told her it was too big so I needed to make it smaller. She looked at me and said "That's OK daddy, I love you just the way you are." How freaking cute is that??

I didn't mention it again until the day before my surgery. That evening I told both girls that they weren't going to see me the next day because I had to go to the doctor's and I'd be there overnight. They asked why and I told them that my tummy was too big and they needed to take out part of it. They said OK and went back to watching TV. After the surgery my wife and I told them several times that they had to be very gentle with me and not to touch my stomach since it would hurt for a while. My 2nd day out I think, my 6 year old went to give me a hug but went too fast and slammed her head right into my main incision and it was pretty bad, she got very upset and now she's very cautious around it. They ask me every day how daddy's tummy is and they give me gently hugs and kiss my stomach. I told them pretty soon it would be all better.

[MowryRocks 679]

@@SarahSleeve I hope I didn't come off as implying that you were not being truthful. All of this is very personal and you know the best way to handle this for you and your family.

[Detroit_25 77]

I was 11 when my mother had gastric bypass. She always told the truth and I think it helped us understand better.

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[Ldyvenus 317]

I have been thinking about this with my surgery date getting closer. I have a 10 and 5 year old. My son told me that dad told him today. Lol, well I guess I don't have to worry anymore. Dad did a good job. I think the strange part will be mom disappearing for 5 days.

[SarahSleeve 170]

@@SarahSleeve I hope I didn't come off as implying that you were not being truthful. All of this is very personal and you know the best way to handle this for you and your family.

Not at all

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[Selvia 10]

Me, My sister and my niece live together and I didn't tell my niece anything but that I'm not feeling well and that I need to rest. She's about 4 years old

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[nctider 4]

I have a 10 and 11 year old and I kind of went the opposite way. I told them that I was having some surgery first and then when they asked why I told them it would help me lose weight. I then proceeded to tell them things I was going to be able to do with them (amusement parks, Water parks, etc) once I lost weight. Once they found out that they were excited for me and of course themselves.

I think if you tell them how it can affect them positive ways they will support and encourage you.

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[Sugarnspice 150]

I have a 6 & 12 year old I am not saying anything. The day of surgery my husband will let them know I had a minor surgery and have to stay a night in the hospital. I grew up with a mom who had many surgeries it would give me extreme anxiety. I couldn't focus in school that day it was terrible. I just don't want them to feel unneeded stress. This is just my opinion for my own reasons I know others share it's a personal choice I think of what you're comfortable with for your family

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[NWJill 119]

I was very open with my 9 year old son about my surgery. I discussed the diet stages with him and have included him in the process where I can...he likes to taste test my Protein shakes for example. This is just my experience but I know as a child I always knew about the things my parents didn't discuss with me, I would go as far as listening at their bedroom door, listening in on phone calls, etc to get the information. I had more anxiety when they tried to keep a secret.

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