Opinions of uninformed people

[pvechiola 195]

She's basing her concerns on fears, not facts. There is a personal anecdote out there about someone dying from almost every medical or dental procedure, every medicine or vaccine, or simply from a fluke. The fact of risk isn't nearly as relevant as the probable chance of it. Modern-day WLS has a low rate of mortality or serious complication. You should absolutely understand those risks, but you also have to think about the risks of not finding a long-term solution to obesity. Insurance companies wouldn't provide coverage for WLS if there wasn't substantial proof of efficacy, and if the benefit didn't outweigh the risks.

You could show your mom data from reliable sources about the low risk of the surgery and the effectiveness of it. Or just simply try to guide conversations off of surgery as much as possible and focus on other topics. You can't let the opinions of others stop you from doing what it prudent for your own life.

[2ndSpring 350]

I brought my mother to the information seminar that doctors held once a month for prospective patients. she was able to hear the information and statistics from the doctor directly and ask questions. It helped relieve a lot of her concerns. Maybe your mother would agree to go and listen?

PS. I'm not a kid, I'm quite middle aged - still need Mom

[Thick2Thin2016 63]

Omg....OK here is the thing.complications can happen.Deaths are rare.very rare,they usually are the result of anaesthesia, blood clots or leaks.if your dr knows what he is doing and you do what you are supposed to do the chances of complications are reduced even more.everyone I know that have had the surgery are alive. Everyone that I have known that was non-compliant in general has passed away from complications from non was surgeries and illness.How many times have you seen a story where the person shouldn't be alive and they survived and yet perfectly healthy looking people just slump over dead without even a hint they are sick.If it's your time,its your time.

[pvechiola 195]

Omg....OK here is the thing.complications can happen.Deaths are rare.very rare,they usually are the result of anaesthesia, blood clots or leaks.if your dr knows what he is doing and you do what you are supposed to do the chances of complications are reduced even more.everyone I know that have had the surgery are alive. Everyone that I have known that was non-compliant in general has passed away from complications from non was surgeries and illness.How many times have you seen a story where the person shouldn't be alive and they survived and yet perfectly healthy looking people just slump over dead without even a hint they are sick.If it's your time,its your time.

Yes if it's your time it's your time she feels like its my fault if I die because I am putting myself in such a position that I can get it off without surgery.. it doesn't even matter anymore I have three more classes and it's off to approval time, I'm happy and healthy enough to know what's good for me, not anyone else but me. I've never had a surgery I elected to have and regretted it so I know this is going to happen and I've already started purchasing my pre op shakes, I pray to god I will like them, but I'm drinking them anyway.

[Keri1019 61]

I am a nurse and when they started gastric bypass in the late 80's it was an open procedure and ppl were close to death when they came to icu so I have waited longer to make my decision. It is so different now in 2017!!

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[clc9 644]

I am a nurse and when they started gastric bypass in the late 80's it was an open procedure and ppl were close to death when they came to icu so I have waited longer to make my decision. It is so different now in 2017!!

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There are a lot of nurses on this board! My surgeon has success patients on his website who are nurses and a doctor. I think it's pretty comforting that so many health professionals seek out the surgery. They know the risks of being obese far outweigh the risks of laparoscopic surgery like this.

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[Hiraeth 515]

My mom is dead set on trying to keep me from having this surgery and I am dead set on doing it. She knows a woman at her work who knows someone that died from the surgery. I suspect she is asking the same person everyday at her work and just keeps telling me the same story everytime. I'm going to my one support group requirement tonight and after that I have a nutrition class on the 20th of Jan and only two classes left after January. All nay sayers aside, I can't wait. I have noticed that since I started eating more Protein anything sweet I eat makes me nauseous.

Honestly, you have a greater chance of dying when you get behind the wheel of a car. Do not let your mom bring you down. I know she's worried, but this surgery will increase the quality of your health. I'm glad you're excited, because you should be!

It may be a good idea to tell her that you no longer wish to discuss the surgery with her. If she refuses to let it go, you may want to put a hold on communicating with her. I hate to say that, because she is your mother. But it can be so draining to have someone so influential in your life to be that negative.

[Malin 470]

My dad died after a gastric bypass in 1982. He never left the hospital, so it wasn't an issue with not following a diet plan--he never had a chance to do so. I believe it was medical negligence, I was only 8 and there was a lawsuit. THAT ASIDE--my mom had a sleeve done a few years ago, and I had mine back in December.

To quote my favorite TV show, "A lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep." I know that's hard when it's your MOM, but...when you're an adult...you do what you have to do. Period.

[LittleBill 2,231]

There are a lot of nurses on this board!

Things have gone from bad to nurse!

[Odie 249]

There are a lot of nurses on this board!

Things have gone from bad to nurse!

You're punny!!

[southbound 159]

I'm 39... surgery 10/4/16. I didn't tell my mom and still haven't and don't plan to.

You have to make decisions that are for your health! Take care of you! Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Jesus loves you!!!

[xoxococojay 842]

@@pvechiola so let me just say i only had to read the very first sentence and i get it. My dad was the same way. My surgery was on my bday (dec. 20th 2016) i didn't tell him until 2 days before my surgery because honestly i didn't want to tell him at all. I didn't want the negativity. I asked him not to tell anyone because this is my journey and not anyone elses business.

When i still decided to have surgery, he called ALL of our relatives and told them everything. I was sooo hurt. He tried to get them to talk me out of it. I'm not emotional, but i cried all day.

Finally, my bday rolled around and i did it anyway. Really i only gave in and told him incase something serious happened to me.

When i woke up from surgery he came to visit me and he saw me walking around the hosiptal trying to walk off the gas and he realized that i would be ok. Then i sat down and talked to him about why i was doing it and what the process actually involves. He even met my cooridnator who explained everything. Now believe it or not, he's my biggest supporter.

Even though at the time i didn't care about his opinion and still dont, i do understand where he is coming from. All he heard was surgery. And he is a parent who will always worry about his child.

It's not going to be easy and it might be the most stressful few days up until your surgery, but once your mom sees you recovering, losing weight and finally happy with yourself trust me, she will come around and eventually support you.

I hope that helps.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[pvechiola 195]

@@pvechiola so let me just say i only had to read the very first sentence and i get it. My dad was the same way. My surgery was on my bday (dec. 20th 2016) i didn't tell him until 2 days before my surgery because honestly i didn't want to tell him at all. I didn't want the negativity. I asked him not to tell anyone because this is my journey and not anyone elses business.

When i still decided to have surgery, he called ALL of our relatives and told them everything. I was sooo hurt. He tried to get them to talk me out of it. I'm not emotional, but i cried all day.

Finally, my bday rolled around and i did it anyway. Really i only gave in and told him incase something serious happened to me.

When i woke up from surgery he came to visit me and he saw me walking around the hosiptal trying to walk off the gas and he realized that i would be ok. Then i sat down and talked to him about why i was doing it and what the process actually involves. He even met my cooridnator who explained everything. Now believe it or not, he's my biggest supporter.

Even though at the time i didn't care about his opinion and still dont, i do understand where he is coming from. All he heard was surgery. And he is a parent who will always worry about his child.

It's not going to be easy and it might be the most stressful few days up until your surgery, but once your mom sees you recovering, losing weight and finally happy with yourself trust me, she will come around and eventually support you.

I hope that helps.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Yes I have completely quit discussing it with her, I even went and purchased my pre-op shakes while she was at work. It's better not to even begin to talk about it with her. I have my friends and they are very supportive, one is even going to sit in the hospital with me so I can get it done. I'm gonna be great at this I'm practicing more every day to add Water and liquids that are good for me . Thanks for all the support. I really need your help and support.

[Aggiemae 739]

The snowflakes have taken over BP so beware of any advice you get from now on as the educated people who care about your safety and well being are being banned or leaving of their own accord and the "don't worry, I ate pork chops two days post op and I am fine" nutters are now in charge.

Many of us are joining Obesity Help and have asked Alex to delete out Bp accounts and he has refused ( higher membership= higher revenue)

I intend to stay and post until Alex delete my account or explains how I can delete it.

If you have been feeling "unsafe here due to the childish rants and threats made by snowflake in response to "controversial" comments, for example saying that "people who have had good preoperative education lose more weight and keep it off better than those who did not get it" .(..yep, I got redeemed for that one! ) come to Obesity Help.

[Aggiemae 739]

There are a lot of nurses on this board!

Things have gone from bad to nurse!

At least three nurses left in the past 24 hours.