Looking for support

[slick-13 1]

I was sleeved on Oct. 24 by Dr. Illan in Tijuana. I have zero regrets and complete support from my pcp. I have lost about 40 lbs since pre surgery diet. Was feeling wonderful and was able to eat the things I wanted in moderation and get my fluids in. Did I say I was really feeling good! Since the new year, I have lost a dear friend who had a total artificial heart put in buying time for a heart transplant that just was'nt meant to be. I worry tremendously for his wife he's left behind. I have been diagnosed with strep throat and 10 days of antibiotics. 4 days left. Since visiting with my friend and his wife in the hospital, I have passed out 1 time while still in the hospital, been vomiting and dry heaving. Everything I eat makes me feel terrible for hours. I have a therapist and was able to see her this past week where she politely tells me everything I feel is normal and everybody grieves in their own way. I can't eat cause I feel sick almost immediately. I keep a cup in my hand all day but honestly don't think I'm getting 50 oz of Fluid in. Everything was fine mind you before this devastating loss... How do you get beyond it? How do I get my happy self back? Can't drink (still gottaa wake up in the am feeling the same shi@%* way), can't eat (everything is nauseating). Taking my meds which no one wants to change (because I have been at a good level since August) but they are now definitely not doing their job. I cry, wanna stay in the bed, but life is not stopping... I wonder if I was still pre surgery would my coping be different because I could still run to food? Not looking for pity or hostility, just felt like typing it out may somehow help. TIA

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[Malin 470]

You're right, sometimes just typing it out helps. Just putting it out there how you really feel...it's hard but you did it. So sorry for your loss. Hang in there.