Do you need to be obsessed to be successful?

[Little Green 583]

Hello all, I am a newbie who is still in the research phase of things. I have lost a lot of weight in the past, up to about 80 pounds, but have regained most of it. I am going to a seminar on Jan. 28 at a bariatric Center of Excellence surgeon/hospital to begin the "non-anonymous" learning process.

One of my concerns is that in order to make weight loss work I have to be completely obsessed with it. Not just the normal food prep, weighing/measuring food, meal plans, etc. but even the books I read, the movies/TV I watch, anything I do on the internet... it was all weight-related. Like I would binge-watch Biggest Loser and if I went online it would be to a weight-loss forum to discuss more stuff about eating and weight loss. And if I read a book it would be a diet memoir or a "why sugar is terrible for you" or other science journalism type book. And I joined a support group and took nutrition classes. Basically anything to do with weight/nutrition became my hobby.

And then, any time I found a new interest or had an event in my life - like when I got engaged and started planning a wedding or when I took up a new craft - I would switch my energy to that and lose my focus. It was like as soon as the obsession with weight loss stuff went, so did the eating habits.

In your experience, post-WLS, do you find that you have to maintain that intense focus to the exclusion of all other hobbies? And if so, for how long? Forever? Or have you reached a place where you can (just for example) take up knitting and binge-watch Orange is the New Black without it affecting your meal planning and eating habits?

I have a somewhat addictive/obsessive personality so I know it will likely be unavoidable for the year or two surrounding the WLS if I decide to have it. But, long term, I'd like to live a somewhat normal life - eating small to moderate portions, tracking my food intake, getting in physical activity every day, yes of course to all of that - but also be able to enjoy other hobbies, books, movies, etc. that don't have to do with weight or fitness.

Sorry for the lengthy post; succinct is not a word frequently used to describe me! Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

[Travelher 915]

Lol you sound like a former professional dieter like I was. Short answer is no. If you want to keep the weight off in the long term you need to have good eating habits. In the short term (1st year) most people will lose a significant amount no matter what. Beyond that it is healthy eating but does not need to be obsessive. So sounds like it could be a fit for you. Dr weiner has some great videos on YouTube about rates of weight loss and long term results

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I really like this question.

The first 3 months I was obsessed. I slacked off months 3 to 6, then months 6-12 I was semi-obsessed. Now I am 1/2 through year 2 and it isn't obsession it is just normal life. I like to weigh all my food, at first that seemed obsessive, now it just seems normal. I read all the labels on everything. I dodge bad food and trigger foods like the plague.

I needed the time to focus on myself and adjust to a new lifestyle and habits. Now that it is a lifestyle, I am more back to my normal habits.

I don't think like a fat person anymore, I think like a thin person, without having to force myself to think like a thin person.

I do think people that really dedicate themselves to the process and learning will have better long term success. If you treat WLS just like another diet, you will squander the benefits of it.

[suzzzzz 1,005]

This is truly a lifestyle change and not a diet. The adjustments required become 2nd nature. I choose to live a full life and always have. The only time I was obsessive after surgery was about following my post op plan. However, I still enjoyed my life by going out with friends and had a kitchen remodel start on day 4 after surgery. Being sleeved is forever just as how each one of us decides our compliance.

[Little Green 583]

Lol you sound like a former professional dieter like I was. Short answer is no. If you want to keep the weight off in the long term you need to have good eating habits. In the short term (1st year) most people will lose a significant amount no matter what. Beyond that it is healthy eating but does not need to be obsessive. So sounds like it could be a fit for you. Dr weiner has some great videos on YouTube about rates of weight loss and long term results

I'm glad you haven't found it necessary to continue with the craziness! That is my hope for having WLS. Thanks for the recommendation; I'm a YouTube freak so I would to see those!

I really like this question.

The first 3 months I was obsessed. I slacked off months 3 to 6, then months 6-12 I was semi-obsessed. Now I am 1/2 through year 2 and it isn't obsession it is just normal life. I like to weigh all my food, at first that seemed obsessive, now it just seems normal. I read all the labels on everything. I dodge bad food and trigger foods like the plague.

I needed the time to focus on myself and adjust to a new lifestyle and habits. Now that it is a lifestyle, I am more back to my normal habits.

I don't think like a fat person anymore, I think like a thin person, without having to force myself to think like a thin person.

I do think people that really dedicate themselves to the process and learning will have better long term success. If you treat WLS just like another diet, you will squander the benefits of it.

I think the bolded is super key for me. Not having to "force" it by maintaining an obsessive, exclusive focus. I'm really glad to hear you've been successful!

This is truly a lifestyle change and not a diet. The adjustments required become 2nd nature. I choose to live a full life and always have. The only time I was obsessive after surgery was about following my post op plan. However, I still enjoyed my life by going out with friends and had a kitchen remodel start on day 4 after surgery. Being sleeved is forever just as how each one of us decides our compliance.

Wow! You are very brave haha. I'm currently a full-time student and taking care of my husband who is disabled, and I'm trying to plan everything around school so that I don't have anything else on my plate during the time of WLS. Thank you for the words of encouragement, and definitely appreciate the idea of things becoming a lifestyle/second nature instead of "This is my short-term focus."

[Djmohr 6,965]

I think your question is excellent.

The first few months for me were obsessive mostly because I was just trying to figure out what foods worked with my new stomach and which ones didn't.

Once I figured it out, it just became a way of life for me. It is almost like my brain is retrained to think about food to survive.

I eat to live, I don't live to eat......

That being said, I did find myself going a bit off plan over the holidays and had a 7lb gain. Now, I am working my butt off to lose that weight. Because I am at goal, losing 7lbs is actually a lot and you have to work very hard for it. The good news is, my tool (new tummy) will always be there to help me.

I will also suggest that if you have an addictive personality it might be wise to work with a therapist that can provide you with some tools to help you remain focused. I leveraged one in the beginning and if you have the right one, they can be very helpful.

This is something that can be provided via your bariatric center of excellence. They specialize in bariatric care.

I hope all goes well in your class! Good luck to you!

[catwoman7 11,209]

I will admit, I'm pretty obsessed, even at 19 months out. Not to the exclusion of all other things, but I'm very focused on my eating/health. But then, I wanted to get down to a normal BMI. Since I started out as super morbidly obese, I knew it wouldn't be easy. I got down to 200 or so lbs pretty easily, and it probably would have been fairly easy for me to maintain, but that wasn't good enough for me, so I had to work. So that means I'm a bit obsessed...

[Monasmle 90]

@ great question, something I struggle with too. Every time I'm single, I lose weight, relationship comes along, and back up I go. Now I'm happily married, and wondering how long I'll be able to stay "obsessed" enough to make this work.

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[SharBear617 146]

Agree this is a great, thought-provoking question. I think it's probably best answered by the vets who are more then 12-18 months out. I'm only just past 6 months out from rny, so yes, it still consumes a lot of my thought process, but I'm also using this time to continue developing the good habits I've started (portion control ALWAYS, saying no to the crap food, teeny tiny indulgences once in awhile, making time for exercise a priority, etc) so that as stated by some others, they just become your routine, and not an obsession. I have vowed though, that no matter what I will NEVER forget a)that I went through a surgery to gain my life back again and b)why I went through that surgery (and ultimately didn't just put myself through it, but my family as well, as I know they had worry about it/me too).

Last thought: I've learned in life there truly is no such thing as normal, at least not a stagnate, permanent normal. "Normal" is a Fluid state, ever changing whether we initiate those changes or they are thrust upon us by circumstance. So instead of thinking you're obsessing, consider that you're simply developing your "normal" and allowing both it and you to change together.

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[Sai 785]

"In your experience, post-WLS, do you find that you have to maintain that intense focus to the exclusion of all other hobbies? And if so, for how long? Forever? Or have you reached a place where you can (just for example) take up knitting and binge-watch Orange is the New Black without it affecting your meal planning and eating habits?"

Great question. I do have to maintain that intense focus but it's never been to the exclusion of all other hobbies. It's part of my daily reflection. For example, after every meal, I log my foods, drink, Vitamins taken. That takes only a few minutes. At the end of the day, I look at total calories, carbs, if I met at the very least 100% of my RDA nutrient level... Etc. If I did well, I pat myself on the back, and if I don't, I try to make adjustments tomorrow. I also log my exercise, and that also takes a minute or two. Mentally and emotionally it's probably always in the back of my mind, I mean, who are we kidding? hehe However, there is plenty of time for my knitting, my musical instruments, my reading, my work... Etc.

I think once you get a good app or a good way to log everything, you'll get in a natural groove on how to keep yourself accountable without expending a tremendous amount time or energy.

I also have certain behaviors (for lack of a better term) when I feel a weak moment. One is to log into BP or FB, touch base with others, read what others are feeling, how they are dealing with what I'm dealing with... Etc. I find that important to keep myself focused.

[Little Green 583]

Thank you to everyone for the new replies! I don't want to quote all as it will be excessively long!

I consider things like tracking food (I use MFP) and planning out macros and all that to be part of the package and not a part of the excessive craziness. I will probably track my food forever. My dietitian (not part of a surgery team, so I will probably have to see a different one for pre-surgery purposes) told me that people who track their food in a journal lose literally 2x the weight as those who don't. And I also saw a study that said obese people are worse at estimating calories than normal-weight people. So I figure, weigh/measure/track is the way to go.

@@catwoman7 What activities do you do daily/weekly that make you feel obsessed? Similar to the things I mentioned in my post (books, bingeing on weight loss shows, constantly going to forums, etc.) or something else? If you don't mind sharing.

I really appreciate all the replies to this post!

[catwoman7 11,209]

Thank you to everyone for the new replies! I don't want to quote all as it will be excessively long!

I consider things like tracking food (I use MFP) and planning out macros and all that to be part of the package and not a part of the excessive craziness. I will probably track my food forever. My dietitian (not part of a surgery team, so I will probably have to see a different one for pre-surgery purposes) told me that people who track their food in a journal lose literally 2x the weight as those who don't. And I also saw a study that said obese people are worse at estimating calories than normal-weight people. So I figure, weigh/measure/track is the way to go.

@@catwoman7 What activities do you do daily/weekly that make you feel obsessed? Similar to the things I mentioned in my post (books, bingeing on weight loss shows, constantly going to forums, etc.) or something else? If you don't mind sharing.

I really appreciate all the replies to this post!

books, magazines, binging on "My 600 lb life", looking for new bariatric-friendly recipes, logging into this site and Obesity Help several times a day (and spending lots of time on them), exercising - that sort of thing. It's probably the central focus in my life (although not the only, of course)

Edited January 7, 2017 by catwoman7

[Thick2Thin2016 63]

Consistency not obsession will help you be successful.get your Water, protein and exercise in everyday.If exercise is easy push harder try something different.If you want to try new food ask yourself if it fits your plan,if it doesn't ask yourself why you are thinking about eating it. Special occasions are one meal/one time things not a day or week long.

[LittleBill 2,231]

This is truly a lifestyle change and not a diet. The adjustments required become 2nd nature. I choose to live a full life and always have. The only time I was obsessive after surgery was about following my post op plan. However, I still enjoyed my life by going out with friends and had a kitchen remodel start on day 4 after surgery. Being sleeved is forever just as how each one of us decides our compliance.

I busted my butt to get our base cabinets finished before surgery so the countertop guy's could come in. I still have to build the upper cabinets and drawers. Mrs. LittleBill is a saint. Even in its unfinished state, the new kitchen is way better than the old.

To the OP, obsession is relative. I am a terrible record keeper, but I measure all my food, and I keep close track of Protein, carbs, and liquids. As long as I meet my goals, I don't worry about every single calorie. I think as long as you pay attention to the really important stuff, you will do well.

[danithomas 75]

Agree this is a great, thought-provoking question. I think it's probably best answered by the vets who are more then 12-18 months out. I'm only just past 6 months out from rny, so yes, it still consumes a lot of my thought process, but I'm also using this time to continue developing the good habits I've started (portion control ALWAYS, saying no to the crap food, teeny tiny indulgences once in awhile, making time for exercise a priority, etc) so that as stated by some others, they just become your routine, and not an obsession. I have vowed though, that no matter what I will NEVER forget a)that I went through a surgery to gain my life back again and b)why I went through that surgery (and ultimately didn't just put myself through it, but my family as well, as I know they had worry about it/me too).

Last thought: I've learned in life there truly is no such thing as normal, at least not a stagnate, permanent normal. "Normal" is a Fluid state, ever changing whether we initiate those changes or they are thrust upon us by circumstance. So instead of thinking you're obsessing, consider that you're simply developing your "normal" and allowing both it and you to change together.

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Thank you so much!!!! I was begging to consider obsession myself. lol I come here before I even think of social media.

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