Secret Surgery

[CocoNina 210]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here but have been browsing this site for weeks. I'm finally going to have my sleeve surgery February 13th. I'm in College and I work, yet no one (except my boyfriend & 1 trusted friend) knows that I'm doing this. I'm petite, only 5'0" but I struggle to get below 195 lbs. These past few years that I been obese, I'm always yo-yo-ing between 197 - 230 lbs. I carry my weight well and as a spur of the moment conversation with my hair stylist, I told her I'm thinking of weight loss surgery & she told me I don't need it because my fat is in "all the right places". People don't understand so I decided to keep my weight loss surgery a secret.

Has anyone else here kept their w.l.s a secret? What excuse did you give your work and/or college when you needed time off? I'm planning on only taking a week off from work and school but I don't know what to say as an excuse to give. I really don't want to say I'm getting w.l.s because it's personal to me and I don't want to hear people's opinions of what I should and shouldn't do with my body.

Thanks! (My post won't scroll anymore, forgive the errors below. I was spelling "thanks" & couldn't see it.

Th

Tha

Height 5'0"

Weight for consultation: 216 lbs.

Pre-op Weight:

[bekah7482 79]

I want to follow this post! My boyfriend is the only person that knows and I want to keep it that way but how do I explain the magical weight loss that conveniently happened right after I take 4 weeks off of work for surgery? I hear a lot of people keep it a secret but I feel like it's a hard thing to hide.

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[CocoNina 210]

That's a good question. Personally, I'm wearing sweats & big jackets since it's winter so I'm hiding my weight so it won't look that "drastic" when it's nice weather season again. I also post on social media sometimes of my workout and diet eating. So, right now before surgery I look (& am) doing something about my weight. So people shouldn't be too shocked when I get smaller.

Height 5'0"

Weight for consultation: 216 lbs.

Pre-op Weight:

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

You don't have to tell anyone about surgery. At school, just let the people who need to know (faculty, I suppose) that you'll miss classes for the period because of a personal or family matter that needs attention. Ask them for the assignments they'll be giving during that time. If you're in the U.S. and your job's medical plan is paying for surgery, only whomever in personnel will know from the paperwork. Your supervisors have no right to ask or know. When arranging with supervisors for the time off, tell them the same -- family or personal matter.,

Certainly the weight loss will be evident soon enough. When asked, simple: I changed the way I eat and [if you do] started to exercise. It's all true.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

I'm wearing sweats & big jackets since it's winter so I'm hiding my weight so it won't look that "drastic" when it's nice weather season again.

Whoa, sugarplum, don't think in terms of hiding your proud accomplishments. Get out there and strut your stuff. Let them eat their hearts out.

[bekah7482 79]

At work I told my boss I was going to be on a medical leave and she knows I have a cyst so she just assumed that's why. I will let her keep thinking that. I am more worried about family and friends. They are not as shy to ask questions or judge as work would be.

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[Pazza 199]

For me, some people know and some people don't. A lot of people I am close to know about my surgery. If I feel someone is going to be judgemental/too nosey/nasty about it or is just not that close to me, I don't waste my time telling them.

If you don't feel comfortable then don't tell people. You can always say that you are loosing weight by following a strict diet, working with your doctor, exercising more, etc. These things are all true.

It can be a struggle figuring out who to tell what. I wish you luck.

It might be good to talk with your professors about the surgery in case you need accommodations of some sort. E.g. if you are having trouble sitting for long periods of time, need to have food on hand, or many other reasons. You can get accommodations for taking tests. It is helpful and if medically you need them, take them.

All the best to you in your journey

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I kept my surgery secret and even 175 pounds later, no one questions it.

As long as you aren't eating pizza and bon bons and sitting on your butt all day, people don't question how you are losing weight. 95% of the population believes that diet and exercise work, so if you are doing both people will think that is how you are losing weight.

You don't have to tell school or work anything. Tell you then you ill and taking time off. Get a note from your PCP to cover your time off. HIPPA exists for a reason, no one is entitled to know about your health care choices.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I am going to advise giving a little more info to your college professors than taking care of a personal or family matter. You don't have to go into specifics, you can say "getting treatment for a medical issue" or "having surgery" without going into more detail. But as a professor myself, if someone just told me they needed to be out of class for "personal reasons" without more, I'm not sure I would allow it without deducting from their grade. Either that or I would allow it but carry on with the assumption that the student was 1) a flake; 2) an addict seeking treatment; or 3) a criminal who was going to spending time in the county lockup to clear their burglary/assault/drunk driving charge.

[NewMeesh 14]

I haven't told anyone except my 3 BFFs (one who is my companion to Mexico), and my new beau. I told my job I had to have a medical procedure without details because it's not their business. I will tell my Mom when I return but I don't want her to worry. Tell who you want and others will assume you're just losing weight.

Pray, Speak, Do! ~Meesh~

[logen000 15]

I am keeping mine from my friends at college as well. I told them im having surgery because i have alot of responsibilities. When i lose the weight ive been eating well and working out so they know thats probably why

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[Nel71 9]

I can so relate to you. I am 4ft 11 1/2 in and weigh 187. I feel i have to justify to everyone why i want to do this. I am so sick and tired of everyone telling me i don't need this as i also carry my weight in the right places. A weight gain of 5lbs on me looks the same as a 15lb weight gain on a taller person. Tired of the yo yo. I am telling my job i am going on vacation. Taking 10 days off but it's more like 14 if u include the weekend. Surgery is April 13th.

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[AvaFern 3,516]

I kept my surgery semi-secret. After the surgery was over, I told my three best friends. Over 3 years later they are still the only people that know. I took a week of vacation from work, but if I had to use medical leave, all you are required to say is that you are having a medical procedure- they can't push you into knowing what it is. In school, I would have the surgery around a break period, unless you take online classes and don't have to be in an actual classroom regularly. Still though, why you are not there is no one's business and unless you have mandatory attendance, there's really no need to tell them anything. If anyone asks, tell them you had a stomach bug and that's why you were gone. You really only need a week to recover physically. I had surgery on Monday, was working in my hospital bed on Tuesday (which I don't advise- I don't even really remember this day very much) and fully back working in my home office for a 12 hour day by Friday. Basically I sit on my butt all day, but even when I went back to an office job the Monday after surgery, I was fine working the entire day. If you have a job that requires lifting or physical activity, then my experience isn't applicable to you, but a basic desk job and classes, you're good to go in a week.

I'm glad I kept my surgery a secret. Consciously I know that no one else's opinion should matter, but to me it did and I knew I wasn't thick-skinned enough to always be the girl that was only thin because she had her stomach cut out. There is no reason you should need to keep your surgery a secret and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in having surgery, but people are judgey jerks and I just didn't want to deal with them in my business, which I felt would be inevitable.

It is entirely possible to keep your surgery a secret, if you choose to do so, and if not, there are also plenty of benefits of telling others as well.

Good luck!

[Miss Impala 64]

I am going to advise giving a little more info to your college professors than taking care of a personal or family matter. You don't have to go into specifics, you can say "getting treatment for a medical issue" or "having surgery" without going into more detail. But as a professor myself, if someone just told me they needed to be out of class for "personal reasons" without more, I'm not sure I would allow it without deducting from their grade. Either that or I would allow it but carry on with the assumption that the student was 1) a flake; 2) an addict seeking treatment; or 3) a criminal who was going to spending time in the county lockup to clear their burglary/assault/drunk driving charge.

Lol... this is why I didn't keep mine a secret. I didn't want people thinking I had become a drug addict or cancer patient all of a sudden. ????

11/11/16: HW 380

11/28/16: Duodenal Switch Surgery

11/28/16: SW 374 lbs

1/6/17: CW 337 lbs

Hi everyone,

I'm new here but have been browsing this site for weeks. I'm finally going to have my sleeve surgery February 13th. I'm in College and I work, yet no one (except my boyfriend & 1 trusted friend) knows that I'm doing this. I'm petite, only 5'0" but I struggle to get below 195 lbs. These past few years that I been obese, I'm always yo-yo-ing between 197 - 230 lbs. I carry my weight well and as a spur of the moment conversation with my hair stylist, I told her I'm thinking of weight loss surgery & she told me I don't need it because my fat is in "all the right places". People don't understand so I decided to keep my weight loss surgery a secret.

Has anyone else here kept their w.l.s a secret? What excuse did you give your work and/or college when you needed time off? I'm planning on only taking a week off from work and school but I don't know what to say as an excuse to give. I really don't want to say I'm getting w.l.s because it's personal to me and I don't want to hear people's opinions of what I should and shouldn't do with my body.

Thanks! (My post won't scroll anymore, forgive the errors below. I was spelling "thanks" & couldn't see it.

Th

Tha

Height 5'0"

Weight for consultation: 216 lbs.

Pre-op Weight:

But being a student at a college, your quite anonymous anyway. So unless you have a large circle of close friends there, it isn't that big of a deal. College isn't like your job, where they actually "see" you you know?

11/11/16: HW 380

11/28/16: Duodenal Switch Surgery

11/28/16: SW 374 lbs

1/6/17: CW 337 lbs

Edited January 7, 2017 by Miss Impala

[CocoNina 210]

Thank you all for your suggestions & input. I'm glad I'm not the only one that will keep my surgery a secret.

OutsideMatchInside, You're absolutely right, 95% of the population still believes diet and excersise work. I'm glad I wasn't crazy when I went to the workshop/seminar and the doctor explained why diet & exercise fail majority of the time for already obese people. 6-weeks post op when I decide to slowly get back to my social life it will look believable since I'll be eating smaller portions and healthier anyway. I will ask my surgeon about what the medical note will say & use that for work and school. I was worried it would say I had weight loss surgery but you made a good point about HIPPA that I forgot about.

Height 5'0"

Weight for consultation: 216 lbs.

Pre-op Weight: