Letting go things I love

[Sunshine4247 17]

I am new to the the forum. I am so scared that I will miss things I love so much. Stuff I believe keeping me fat. I don't want to give up an occasional glass of wine. A nice sandwich from time to time. Or even a slice of pizza. This is my dilemma. I am clearef for surgery on the 23 rd of January. I want this so bad but I don't want to let go stuff I enjoy sometime. Iam 5'3". I weight 216 lbs. Tried every diet in the book. Nothing worked for me so is there anyone that could shed some light on how I am feeling

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[Kaylamh 144]

I want to encourage you by saying that the cravings get SO MUCH better after surgery. Honestly. You won't be giving up a glass of wine forever. My surgeon says that you can start incorporating alcohol back in at 6 mos, but they recommend waiting until you hit your goal. The food cravings really do go away.

Ask yourself: is pizza really worth your health? There are really good Pizza Crust substitutes that you can make with cauliflower that taste great and satisfy the craving. There is always a way around cravings. You can do this!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Honestly letting go of the food didn't bother me as much as letting go of my clothes.

The food part is honestly pretty short. You have 6 months of healing, 12 months to lose the bulk of your weight and maybe about another 6 months to lose some weight. The weight loss phase where your food choices are limited is pretty small in the big scheme of things. Once you get to goal or close you have things you like in moderation. As long as you are good like 90% of the time.

You should think about what you can gain, not what you are losing.

I care more about all my shoes and clothes I gave anyway than any one food.

[pvechiola 195]

Honestly letting go of the food didn't bother me as much as letting go of my clothes.

The food part is honestly pretty short. You have 6 months of healing, 12 months to lose the bulk of your weight and maybe about another 6 months to lose some weight. The weight loss phase where your food choices are limited is pretty small in the big scheme of things. Once you get to goal or close you have things you like in moderation. As long as you are good like 90% of the time.

You should think about what you can gain, not what you are losing.

I care more about all my shoes and clothes I gave anyway than any one food.

This statement made my day " Think about what you're gaining instead of what you are losing ", whenever you are wanting foods you can't have.

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[theantichick 2,204]

I wondered about that too. The truth is that once you're healed, you can generally have whatever food you want, just not in the quantities you used to. There are successful vets here who have lost their excess weight and kept it off, who enjoy a glass of wine, or a small square of really good chocolate. The key is moderation and choice.

For me, eating some of the crap I used to eat wasn't really about my choice. I was driven to eat it. The cravings were out of control. Now, in addition to the surgery, I also started working with a therapist about my emotional eating and food issues months before the surgery. So the surgery isn't the only thing that's contributed, but it's a huge thing.

After the surgery, those cravings were just gone. I used to have a real thing for Little Debbies, specifically honey Buns. When I was cleared for soft foods, hubby and I were at the grocery store and we walked by the display. A voice in my head said "hey, Little Debbies would count as soft food, right? That would be good, grab some" but it wasn't like before surgery, it was just a thought and not a full-on craving. I then thought about what one would actually taste like, and it just wasn't appealing. I was able to walk away without any issue. So the thoughts are still there, holdovers from the old days, but the cravings are gone.

After I was cleared for any foods, I have occasionally tried something that used to be something I would binge on. Like double stuffed Oreos. My tastes truly have changed. It now tastes like cardboard chocolate Cookies filled with vanilla flavored lard. NOT worth precious sleeve space. Now, I got some good Ghirardelli chocolate squares for Christmas. I still love a good chocolate, that hasn't changed. But I wasn't compelled to binge on them. I ate one square and I was good for the day. I've never had Christmas chocolate last past Christmas Day. Other people raided my stash, is the only reason they're gone now.

And I'm fine with it. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I can still have awesome food and drink when I really want it, but it's my choice and not a craving compelling me. What I don't do is waste valuable sleeve space on foods and drinks that aren't worth it.

It's awesome, really.

[The New Kel 1,312]

I like to think of the loss of my old way of eating as losing a bad relationship. Breaking up with a toxic lover.

I now have a great relationship with food. And within this one I am getting healthier and enjoying life, no longer being controlled and dictated by the old, addictive bad one.

When you are healed it is technically OK to eat a little bit of what you once loved. But from all the testimonies and stories here, it is likely you won't really enjoy it nearly as much. And you for certain will not be able to eat as much of it. Letting go of what once comforted you is a mental challenge, but surgery is an amazing tool to allow that to happen.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am new to the the forum. I am so scared that I will miss things I love so much. Stuff I believe keeping me fat. I don't want to give up an occasional glass of wine. A nice sandwich from time to time. Or even a slice of pizza. This is my dilemma. I am clearef for surgery on the 23 rd of January. I want this so bad but I don't want to let go stuff I enjoy sometime. Iam 5'3". I weight 216 lbs. Tried every diet in the book. Nothing worked for me so is there anyone that could shed some light on how I am feeling

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I'm three and a half years out and I have a glass of wine or two pretty regularly. I can't eat a whole sandwich, but I can usually eat most of a half if I take the top bread off, and I have a leftover half for the next day. As for pizza? I can eat a slice of thin crust, but I usually choose just to eat the toppings. and a bite of crust.

I can do all of the above while wearing my size 8 skinny jeans, or a tankini at the pool without feeling self conscious. I can wear heels all day without killing my feet. I can shop at any store now and I can buy clothes off the rack without trying them on.

So no, I've lost nothing but gobs of fat. The ginormous quantities of food? I don't miss that at all.

[O-Town Body Rock 148]

You are going to love dressing up and getting sexy more than anything!!!

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[SassyScienceNerd 213]

There's an amazing bakery in New Orleans that makes something called doberge cake and the thought of never tasting it again makes me almost cry. Whenever I run across something I know I'll probably not eat/drink again, I think of something I'm gaining instead. No, I'll never have a slice of heavenly 14-layer doberge cake, but I will be able to fit into a kayak, so when my friends go out for the weekend, I'll be there. I'll be tagged in those pictures, I'll have those memories forever. I won't have a glass of wine on my birthday, but I will fit into adorable knee-high boots and look cute in my birthday pictures. I will go rock climbing with my friends and not be the one huffing and puffing in the back of the group unable to keep up. I will ride a bicycle with my kids. I'll stand around the Water cooler at work and when someone says "I'm training for that 5K in March" I can nonchalantly say "Oh yeah, the Beach Bum Rush, I'm doing that one too," and no one is going to look at me with that patronizing little head tilt and say "Awwww, good for you, I'm sure you'll do great, it's not about how fast you go, it's that you're going to try, lapping everyone on the couch!"

So make a little pocket list of things you'll be gaining. Then when you have a craving or start to worry you're going to give up so much, check out the list and see if the trade-off will be worth it. I bet it always will be.

[Dub 9,922]

I am new to the the forum. I am so scared that I will miss things I love so much. Stuff I believe keeping me fat. I don't want to give up an occasional glass of wine. A nice sandwich from time to time. Or even a slice of pizza. This is my dilemma. I am clearef for surgery on the 23 rd of January. I want this so bad but I don't want to let go stuff I enjoy sometime. Iam 5'3". I weight 216 lbs. Tried every diet in the book. Nothing worked for me so is there anyone that could shed some light on how I am feeling

Sent from my SM-G928T using the BariatricPal App

Don't be scared to redefine the term "love".

food is simply fuel.....not worthy of love.

People, fun acts, pets, good health......strong relationships.......these are subjects worthy of love.

[The New Kel 1,312]

@@Dub

"Don't be afraid to redefine the term 'love'.

food is simply fuel, not worthy of this term.."

This may be the most valuable two sentences I've read in relation to my journey and relationship with food. Thanks for posting this.

[triplethreat 257]

Your relationship with food is going to change enormously. I'm six months out and at goal weight while working towards my stretch goal. My surgeon green lighted me for whatever I want-- wine, pizza, etc-- about two months ago. I can't eat a whole slice of pizza and because I monitor carbs I generally just eat the toppings. Wine now causes heartburn that seems to originate in the fifth circle of hell it burns so much, so there is no such thing as a nice glass of wine after dinner. I no longer crave sweets. Lots of sleevers fall out of love with food. Me and food, we haven't broken up but we have an amicable friendship, not a torrid affair. I don't know how your relationship will change but like many of the posters, it will change; you may not be able to imagine it now. During your time of healing you will reset your tastes and tolerances; you will be in control of food and not the other way around!

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[ella37 455]

I know how you feel. I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I DO sometimes miss it. Sometimes there is delicious food around and even though I can have a few bites I miss being able to just chow down once in a while.

However, I also miss my skinny clothes. I miss not being uncomfortable and self conscious all the time, I miss not dreading running into someone I used to know in public. I miss my knees not popping when I walk up stairs, I miss not always pulling and adjusting clothes because nothing fits right. I miss not being embarrassed when I see my family once a year because I've gained weight again, I miss not having to buy things that are cut flowy or are stretchy so you can't see my rolls.

I do miss pigging out, but I miss a lot of other things as well and when I compare the 2 lists pigging out just isn't worth it. I've had small amounts of many, many different kinds of food including sweets over the holidays and a slice of pizza. I can still enjoy food, I can still eat things I like, I just have to make it an occasional treat instead of an all day every day feast. I can't stuff myself to the brim with 1/2 a pizza and there was a certain satisfaction in doing that. I think it's okay to acknowledge that you're giving something up, just keep in mind that you're getting more than you give away.

Edited January 7, 2017 by ella37

[thejiffer 43]

I'm not quite 3 weeks out from surgery so I'm no expert, but before surgery I definitely worried that I would regret letting go of some of my favorite foods. What helped me the most is realizing that 1) I could eventually try a small portion of pretty much any food from time to time, and 2) thinking about what letting go of unhealthy foods would let me hold on to.

For me right now, that's my nephews (age 2.5 and 9 months) and my little cousins (4 year old twins). They're all so active - even the baby is crawling like lightning now! - and I so want to be able to keep up and play with them. I don't want them to grow up remembering Auntie Ferfer sitting off to the side watching them play.

And I really want to be able to have kids of my own someday, which at this point is almost physically impossible. Losing weight is the #1 thing I can do to help myself achieve that dream, and that is worth more to me than garlic bread or fried cheese wedges (my drugs of choice pre-surgery.)

Last thing I'll say...I've been very surprised at how few cravings I've had post-surgery. I was sleeved December 19th and came home December 21st, just in time for family Christmas celebrations. It's the weirdest thing - I sat with my family at a HUGE Breakfast Christmas morning, sipping my Protein shake, not feeling sorry for myself at all. I was able to objectively think "that looks good" and "the bacon smells delicious", but I didn't want to EAT any of it. Something I never would have predicted before surgery, because I was so ruled by my cravings.

[pvechiola 195]

I wondered about that too. The truth is that once you're healed, you can generally have whatever food you want, just not in the quantities you used to. There are successful vets here who have lost their excess weight and kept it off, who enjoy a glass of wine, or a small square of really good chocolate. The key is moderation and choice.

For me, eating some of the crap I used to eat wasn't really about my choice. I was driven to eat it. The cravings were out of control. Now, in addition to the surgery, I also started working with a therapist about my emotional eating and food issues months before the surgery. So the surgery isn't the only thing that's contributed, but it's a huge thing.

After the surgery, those cravings were just gone. I used to have a real thing for Little Debbies, specifically honey Buns. When I was cleared for soft foods, hubby and I were at the grocery store and we walked by the display. A voice in my head said "hey, Little Debbies would count as soft food, right? That would be good, grab some" but it wasn't like before surgery, it was just a thought and not a full-on craving. I then thought about what one would actually taste like, and it just wasn't appealing. I was able to walk away without any issue. So the thoughts are still there, holdovers from the old days, but the cravings are gone.

After I was cleared for any foods, I have occasionally tried something that used to be something I would binge on. Like double stuffed Oreos. My tastes truly have changed. It now tastes like cardboard chocolate Cookies filled with vanilla flavored lard. NOT worth precious sleeve space. Now, I got some good Ghirardelli chocolate squares for Christmas. I still love a good chocolate, that hasn't changed. But I wasn't compelled to binge on them. I ate one square and I was good for the day. I've never had Christmas chocolate last past Christmas Day. Other people raided my stash, is the only reason they're gone now.

And I'm fine with it. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I can still have awesome food and drink when I really want it, but it's my choice and not a craving compelling me. What I don't do is waste valuable sleeve space on foods and drinks that aren't worth it.

It's awesome, really.

I love how you put what you're saying into ways I can understand it since this is all new to me. When the Dr told me I still had to lose weight while waiting for my surgery I felt completely defeated like that would never happen. I then thought about it and decided to try baby steps. First I quit eating after 6 pm. That was hard and I never realized how much I ate at night until everytime I wanted to go and eat thinking I was hungry. Second I am watching my Protein intake and trying to memorize the right things to eat to stay balanced.

Third I am reading all of the posts on this and learning from all of you that have already done this and are learning how to remake life when it comes to food. Please keep texting so I can learn I should have a date sometime in April or May and while I am scared to do it I am going to lose weight and I am going to lose some before and after surgery. My mom is Italian and it's very hard for her to watch me turning down meals when she cooks , she hates the idea of me having this surgery at all and I am just going to do it whether she supports me or not.TYFS

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