Don't look at me!!!!

[Esmeralda 2]

I don't like the attention I get I feel like I am the same person that I was when I was fat why all of the sudden I can be "really pretty". To be honest with you sometimes I feel like I liked my self bigger for some reason and I am very uncomfortable with the attention I have been getting because I still can't see myself thinner. It's a mind thing I guess but how can I make myself see me for what I am now?

[Wendell Edwards 73]

I don't like the attention I get I feel like I am the same person that I was when I was fat why all of the sudden I can be "really pretty". To be honest with you sometimes I feel like I liked my self bigger for some reason and I am very uncomfortable with the attention I have been getting because I still can't see myself thinner. It's a mind thing I guess but how can I make myself see me for what I am now?

how can I make myself see me for what I am now?

This is a post that I made a long time ago on how to see your weight loss:

Most people who are morbidly obese do not like having their picture taken. They avoid the camera because the photographs don't lie.

That fact can be put to good use before and during your weight loss. Simply put, the best way to document weight loss is not a scale graph of pounds lost, or a size chart of inches lost.

The best way to document weight loss is to take photographs before and during the process.

I advise people setting out on this journey to take three initial pictures.

The recommendations that I give are these:

1. Take three views, front, side and back (That means you need a automatic timer camera or a friend to help you)

2. Take the pictures in the same place every time. A doorway is a great choice, because it helps put a known quantity into the picture. Other good places are in front of a fireplace or another known point of reference.

3. Take the pictures while wearing form-fitting clothes. A swimsuit is IDEAL.

4. Take the pictures with the same camera, and make sure you are standing the same distance from the camera every time. That's why a doorway helps. You can line yourself up in the doorway and use a measuring tape to find the distance to the camera.

5. Take that same set of pictures every month. Front, back and side views. Wear the same clothes and make sure the distance to the camera is the same.

6. Have the "Before" pictures printed out, and tape them to your refrigerator.

7. Have the latest set of pictures printed out, and tape those next to the "Before" pictures.

In doing this, you mind has irrefutable PROOF that what you are doing IS WORKING.

People frequently do NOT "See" their weight loss, and they become frustrated, perhaps by a scale weight that is not moving, even though their body size is reducing at an amazing rate.

This is a great way to "See" your weight loss.

The best way to document weight loss is to take photographs before and during the process.

[LstNTranslation 0]

I do alot more reading than posting here, but this particular thread really struck a chord with me. I spent the first 25 years of my life being quite thin & attractive. I thrived on the attention I rec'd. Then I began packing on the pounds but still managed to find myself a bit stunned when I woke up one morning FAT!! And to add insult to injury, we moved to Hong Kong in 2001 (we're still here, and probably will be for another 10 years). I could almost handle the skinny Chinese girls, but all of the other expat wives I'd befriended were all quite thin & svelte as well. On any given day here, I was by far the fattest person you'd see all day - keeping in mind that I'm 5'9" and my highest weight was 240lbs. I still managed to stay very, very social, but there wasn't 10 minutes in a day that would go by that I wouldn't obsess about my weight.

But now here's where it gets interesting. You'd think that someone who quite thrives on being smack in the middle of the social circle would CRAVE weight loss comments. But noone here (except my husband) knows I've had WLS, and I've actually slowed down my own progress so as not to raise suspicions. How weird is that??? I've purposely only had one small fill since my surgery in April so that when we all go out to dinner I don't a) have problems with anything we order and :eek: don't have to eat just such a tiny portion that people would talk. So far I've been able to explain my 45lb weight loss thru a couple of stays at intensive health spas (they're everywhere here in Asia), and just walking my butt off every day.

So is that about the strangest thing you've heard, or what?

[valstar 0]

Voondahbah,

Since it is my bf, eventually, I'll have to say something. Rignt now I have said don't be Jel, join the fight. I think she is afraid of surgery and won't do it because of that and is a little afraid that this will interfere with our friendship. We all have such insecurities. That's why this process doesn't work or last for people. If you don't deal with the psyche, the phtsical changes are fleeting. You have to change your mindset and those around you have to be willing to accept and support those changes or you may need to set them aside until you are stronger in your self. The on line chat is good and helpful but i really believe the support groups are important. Even if you just have someone you can talk to that has had the surgery and can understand first hand what you are going through is a big help.

Well, good luck with your BF. My bf and I have been friends for over 20 years so cal me an optomist but I think we will survive and she will stop making comments. I also hope she will find a way to lose weight also.

Take care,

Val

7/5/07 - start weight -319

8/30/07 - surgery - 314

9/21/07 - most recent - 291 :clap2:

[cathie 0]

Best friend or not Misery loves company. She is pain and she is probably afraid you may find a new best friend. Try to be patient with her. My friend is the same way but the bottom line is its not about her. This is about you and what you have to do for yourself. If she's really your BF she will love you no matter what as you should her so if shes not real supportive right now don't worry too much but you do what you have to do for you. This is not about her.

[Princessannod1 0]

I was/am an attention hog period fat or thin. If i bought a new outfit that i thought i was cute in - I would strut my stuff - and am doing it now when I am able to come to work in something that hasn't fit in 4 yrs and when i get to goal - hell ya - i will be struting.... If you don't love yourself - no one else will.

:clap2:Are you my twin sister...I 100% agree. My primary reason to lose weight is due to me getting older and I don't want any health issues. I don't want to be sick and strutting:D Rather, I was a size 10 or 22 I carried myself the same. I love looking good rather the wrapper is big or small.:cheer2:

[kacee 3]

I must be the opposite of everyone. I walk into a room and eventually if someone doesn't mention it, I DO. I just can't help myself. Dammit....I am proud of what I have accomplished and I want some back pats for it! I've got to try to temper my "horn tooting", but right now I am just SOOOO excited...it is SOOOOOO new....it is SOOOOO wonderful....I want to shout it from the rooftops. When I start talking about my weight now, and I am boasting that I weigh....175....or whatever...I always qualify it with "I haven't seen those numbers in 25 years!!!" Then even the folks who are a lot smaller than me can have some sense of grasping what I am talking about. 175 isn't all that lithe a body, but relative to where I have been....it is incredible! This is my day in the sun and I am going to wallow in it!!!:whoo:

[angelsoul 0]

Not strange LSTn, you don't want anyone to ask questions. I understand that. And it makes sense to me.

[cantweight2go 1]

Wow!

I think I just had a revelation while I was reading this thread. I am 42 and I am at 41 BMI. As a third grader I was molested by a family friend. At the age of 6 I was coersed into helping a man look for his lost puppy at the park. I followed the man to his car while he told me how beautiful I was. Just before i got in the car I heard my mother yelling for me franticly. Then in the 6th grade I was molested by a family member. I began to put weight on. I didn't like my curves. I didn't want breast, my period or anything that made me more of a woman. I cried the day I had to wear a bra and I had my period.

By the sixth grade I had a thyroid problem that made me drop my chub and I became quite curvy and i attracted a lot of attention from boys that was positive but i also got a lot of attention from girls that was very negative. I still kept the same group of girl friends from childhood but all new girls didn't seem to like me. By nineth grade I entered a local Junior Miss pagent and won. Once again, there was alot of attention from men/boys but the girls that were not already my friends hated me.

I ended up meeting my future husband in high school. Boys left me alone after this, My future husband was a athlete and the other boys were not going to mess with him. This still left me with girl issues. The weight started to come back on. My husband and I have been together for 25 years total. He loves me and is very effectionate with me no matter what I look like.

Ten years ago we moved from the area we grew up in and I met a bunch of great girls that I love to spend time with. It took me 8 years to tell them about the Junior miss pagent. I hid my old trophy and pictures of the pagent. I used to think that it was because of how embarressed I was that I had let myself grow so huge but after reading this thread I think it is because I am affraid of the negative attention this might all bring.

I am currently waiting for my surgary in October. I am having no trouble exercising but I am having trouble dropping any weight and until now I couldn't figure it out why I would sabbatage myself.....now I know, I am afraid to stand out, to be special in any way that might draw attention to me.

I now need to figure out what to do now.

Bugalu

[Wendell Edwards 73]

Wow!

I think I just had a revelation while I was reading this thread. I am 42 and I am at 41 BMI. As a third grader I was molested by a family friend. At the age of 6 I was coersed into helping a man look for his lost puppy at the park. I followed the man to his car while he told me how beautiful I was. Just before i got in the car I heard my mother yelling for me franticly. Then in the 6th grade I was molested by a family member. I began to put weight on. I didn't like my curves. I didn't want breast, my period or anything that made me more of a woman. I cried the day I had to wear a bra and I had my period.

By the sixth grade I had a thyroid problem that made me drop my chub and I became quite curvy and i attracted a lot of attention from boys that was positive but i also got a lot of attention from girls that was very negative. I still kept the same group of girl friends from childhood but all new girls didn't seem to like me. By nineth grade I entered a local Junior Miss pagent and won. Once again, there was alot of attention from men/boys but the girls that were not already my friends hated me.

I ended up meeting my future husband in high school. Boys left me alone after this, My future husband was a athlete and the other boys were not going to mess with him. This still left me with girl issues. The weight started to come back on. My husband and I have been together for 25 years total. He loves me and is very effectionate with me no matter what I look like.

Ten years ago we moved from the area we grew up in and I met a bunch of great girls that I love to spend time with. It took me 8 years to tell them about the Junior miss pagent. I hid my old trophy and pictures of the pagent. I used to think that it was because of how embarressed I was that I had let myself grow so huge but after reading this thread I think it is because I am affraid of the negative attention this might all bring.

I am currently waiting for my surgary in October. I am having no trouble exercising but I am having trouble dropping any weight and until now I couldn't figure it out why I would sabbatage myself.....now I know, I am afraid to stand out, to be special in any way that might draw attention to me.

I now need to figure out what to do now.

Bugalu

A lot of people who have surgery utilize the services of a therapist to help them deal with the emotional side of weight loss. I know dozens of people who are extremely happy that they decided to do this for themselves.

[tizen33 0]

It makes complete sense to me to not want the attention. I don't remember what it feels like to be thinner. I've never been super thin but was healthy and inshape in high school and until about 20yrs old.

In the past I've always self sabotaged myself. Just as soon as people would start to compliment me on my weight loss I'd always end up starting to put the lbs back on. Maybe I link attention with failure-

That's a new one I hadn't thought of yet.

Attention or no attention I just know I need to do this for me.... both mentally and physically.

Good luck!

Tina

[starryeyed 0]

I was very thin until age 22 and got lots of positive attention because of it. I am now 27 and it's pretty hard to get much positive attention regarding my body when I am 100 lbs. overweight. That being said, I know that I am very much looking forward to once again being svelte and everything that goes with that, including the attention. I don't think it will make me uncomfortable. I feel much more uncomfortable with being overweight and let me tell you, I DREAD seeing anyone who I knew 5 yrs. ago who hasn't seen the overweight me.

I am day 18 post-op and hanging in there.

starryeyed

[DebC 0]

Voondabah...I was very fortunate that my "food buddy" (whom I also work with) got the surgery 3 weeks before I did. It has been so cool to go thru it together. We have our own little support group!

[Sades 4]

I've always been confident, fat or not (I've been 20 kilos lighter in the past). I'm a great dancer so have always attracted positive attention. My mum (God bless her soul) always said that if I was slim I'd walk the streets naked because of my confidence. Oh well, she's wrong because that aint going to happen!! Over the years I've had many friends say that I wouldn't be the same if I was slim and others have said they don't see me as fat. Weird isn't it? Bottom line is I'm confident but have many issues which led to the weight in the first place.

[Chickie 15]

There was another post who said that they blend in more now than they did before.

That was me.

I stand out because I have a "big" personality, so when you get into a conversation with me, you notice me, but really when I walk into a room, no one really looks at me twice. I am just another chick walking into the room.

I enjoy it actually.