Divorce

[JusttheBegininng 8]

My gastric sleeve was 11/7/16 and I wish nobody gets divorce after this surgery. I thought I would be one of the Lucky ones that wouldn't. That I had a supportive husband who loved me and would never do anything to jepordize

Our relationship. After 5 years of being married luckily with no kids I'm on the verge of a divorce. Maybe you get more courage while losing weight and you value yourself more . But I realized that I can't let my husband treat me Any way he wants. He got drunk tonight on New Year's Eve and after 5 hours of spending time with his brother and niece I told him let's go to bed tell them good night ( at 5 am). It got him so mad that he brought up things from 6 years ago while we were dating and called me a whore. I got mad and called him an alcoholic like his dad who abandoned him and he got even more mad. I threatened him with divorce and he was about to leave then I realized I didn't want to throw everything away for him being drunk and begged him to stay. He pushed me against the wall, slapped me and would keep pushing me off. His strength beat me and he finally left and went with his drunk brother to his moms house. No matter what I realized I can't let any man treat me this way and even before he left I told him he would regret this.' But no matter what I can't forgive him. My mom has always told me never to let any man put his hands on me so no matter what I can't forgive him. I'm glad I have the confidence to know that I don't deserve this but it sucks that I'm a stastistic about to be divorced. Again it sucks and I hope nobody ever goes through this. But just know that this surgery can make a lot of things change and only God knows what's best for us and why things happen

[reree6898 1,164]

Drunk or not that should never happen. I am glad you see that you are worth more then being treated like that.

[babyjay 11]

You deserve better my sister,God will help you through.

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[Flora Anderson 61]

Never argue with a drunk. It's not worth the energy or blood pressure. I'm sorry that this happened during what should have been a celebratory time. Did he leave marks? Take pictures. Make a police report and back this up.

Make the new year the best one ever! Living well is the best revenge.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Worse than being mentally abusive, he is physically abusive.

Having WLS wouldn't change that.

You need to do what is right for you. If you think marriage counseling would work and he receiving individual counseling and AA intervention would help, then give it a try if you want to save this relationship.

He has no right to ever physically (or mentally abuse you).

IMHO, unless he wants to really change, things will probably only get more abusive.

Maybe spend the next few nights at a good friend's or relative's house for both of you to think things over.

I wish you the best for whatever choice you make. I'm sorry your New Year started this way.

[ladyslim2015 74]

I was an mean drunk too. I put my hands on my husband. I have so much regret it's never okay to do that male or females. The problem was already there b4 you went through this amazing process. Love yourself more. Do for you. I was lucky I got sober and he stuck around I was lucky he didnt kill/hit me back when I put my hands on him.

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[thunder32 65]

He has to change!!...him saying sorry is not change....do not give him any power and call the police

thunder32

[pvechiola 195]

My gastric sleeve was 11/7/16 and I wish nobody gets divorce after this surgery. I thought I would be one of the Lucky ones that wouldn't. That I had a supportive husband who loved me and would never do anything to jepordize

Our relationship. After 5 years of being married luckily with no kids I'm on the verge of a divorce. Maybe you get more courage while losing weight and you value yourself more . But I realized that I can't let my husband treat me Any way he wants. He got drunk tonight on New Year's Eve and after 5 hours of spending time with his brother and niece I told him let's go to bed tell them good night ( at 5 am). It got him so mad that he brought up things from 6 years ago while we were dating and called me a *****. I got mad and called him an alcoholic like his dad who abandoned him and he got even more mad. I threatened him with divorce and he was about to leave then I realized I didn't want to throw everything away for him being drunk and begged him to stay. He pushed me against the wall, slapped me and would keep pushing me off. His strength beat me and he finally left and went with his drunk brother to his moms house. No matter what I realized I can't let any man treat me this way and even before he left I told him he would regret this.' But no matter what I can't forgive him. My mom has always told me never to let any man put his hands on me so no matter what I can't forgive him. I'm glad I have the confidence to know that I don't deserve this but it sucks that I'm a stastistic about to be divorced. Again it sucks and I hope nobody ever goes through this. But just know that this surgery can make a lot of things change and only God knows what's best for us and why things happen

I've got alot of experience in abusive relationships, if a man hits you once he will do it again and again. Remember when God closes one door another one opens, think of yourself as very special because you can start over, that's being lucky, not spending time with a man who puts his hands on you. You're very lucky most women never get out. Best wishes on your journey, you're gonna have a blast.

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[GmaDiana 81]

You are a strong lady.No one ever has the right to hit you,alcohol or not.Once it starts it won't stop.Unless he gets major help.Protect yourself emotionally and physically.Document if he left marks.

[LittleBill 2,231]

@@JusttheBegininng " He pushed me against the wall, slapped me and would keep pushing me off. His strength beat me and he finally left and went with his drunk brother to his moms house."

He should not be hitting you. But I have to wonder, reading your description, was it perhaps self defense? He was drunk. What about you? Has this sort of thing happened before?

Please understand, I do am not trying to justify him beating you up, but it sort of looks like a couple of friends of mine from years ago. They would have fights that made cage matches look tame. Both threw punches. She threw pots and pans. But with some serious counseling, and genuine desire on both sides, they put their marriage back together and have been doing well for close to 30 years now.

[Aggiemae 739]

I've been married for 40 years (yikes!) 38 years ago my husband grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving the room while we were arguing about him starting to smoke tobacco again after quitting as a wedding gift to me. I left him that night with a 4 month old baby in tow and and we lived separately for two years.

After a few months of embracing his "freedom" he started anger management. A while later he joined NA and AA. Then he quit smoking. We did, at my insistence, rewrite it marriage contact before I made the commitment to try again.

However, if he'd hit me I would have has his a** arrested and none of the things I just wrote about would never have happened.

[Lema 236]

Words can hurt a lot. It should not get to the point where you are shoved around or called names. It's also hurtful for a person to be told that they were unwanted or abandoned by their parents. They confide those vulnerabilities to us in hopes of us being there for them when they need us, not to use it against them.

Could you not go to bed without him or did you need him to drive you home??

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[Lema 236]

Maybe you two need some time away from each other.

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[LittleBill 2,231]

I've been married for 40 years (yikes!) 38 years ago my husband grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving the room while we were arguing about him starting to smoke tobacco again after quitting as a wedding gift to me. I left him that night with a 4 month old baby in tow and and we lived separately for two years.

After a few months of embracing his "freedom" he started anger management. A while later he joined NA and AA. Then he quit smoking. We did, at my insistence, rewrite it marriage contact before I made the commitment to try again.

However, if he'd hit me I would have has his a** arrested and none of the things I just wrote about would never have happened.

In a couple of weeks, Mrs. LittleBill and I will reach our 33rd anniversary. While we were dating in college, she took a self defense class where they learned to use a kubotan, a small stick that was popular in the 70s and early 80s. I had been a hand to hand combat instructor for a while, and one of my roommates was a black belt in karate.

The three of us were standing around one day discussing the various things we knew about self defense. My roommate asked Mrs. LittleBill to demonstrate her abilities. She proceeded to grab my hand and just about broke my thumb off. The pain was incredible. Purely by reaction, I swung around and cuffed her in the head hard enough to bring tears to her eyes.

We had a long, heartfelt conversation afterwards, about how to do things and how not. The proof of our success is that we have been together for over 33 years now.

[Domesticdiva66 4]

I ended a long term relationship (16 years) with an alcoholic back in April 2016. I strongly recommend Alanon for you. No one deserves to be treated like this EVER! I'm so thankful to be living life on MY TERMS and doing what is best for ME. That includes weight loss surgery!

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