Afraid of the band

[cookielover 1]

I am having my lap band installed on October the 3rd, but I am not as thrilled as I thought I would be. In fact it is the opposite- I am depressed. I want to stay in bed all day, I have no focus, I want to cry, and I feel hopeless. I was fired up about getting banded during the summer but during the waiting period I lost all interest.

My doctor did not put me on a pre-op diet, but after reading the posts on here I decided that it was best to put myself on a pre-op diet, and so I did. However, I did not stick to it. I just did what I wanted, ate what I wanted, and then beat myself up as much as I wanted to. I don't recall being this type of person, but now I am.

You know what I fear the most? It is being thin. How are you suppose to act when you are thin. At this moment I am invisible, no one sees me. How will it be when the weight comes off and I have no control of what others see? Do I want to be thin? Has anybody else fought with these feelings???

[Chickie 15]

How do you act when you are thin? Much the same way you do when you are overweight.

I am far more invisible now, as the "average" girl, than I ever was as the obese girl.

[marcy 0]

cookielover, hang in there. I too will be banded on oct 3. I am excited and scared. I also wonder how will I think of myself as a thin person. It is worth the risk believe me. I as scared of becoming a diabetic. I think I would rather be scared of being a new me than a diabetic. Hang in there and keep in touch. we will make it I promise. Marcy

[kacee 3]

That is exactly what support groups are for. You are not voicing ANYTHING that hasn't been thought of by the rest of us. If you have been mildly depressed and overweight all your life...you think....when I am thin, what happens if I am STILL not happy????? What happens after all that work and I feel the SAME???? You are SOOOO not alone. Actually you have the typical pre-band jitters. Everyone gets them to SOME extent. But you know what...you outlook is GOING to change. It's kindof like sitting on Christmas morning and being DETERMINED to be in a foul mood. Then someone gives you a present. You don't smile, you set it aside...then another present comes...you glance at it and wonder..hmm what's inside? Before you know it, you are in a good frame of mind, excited about and anticipating the day. You just can't help but feel a LITTLE good about yourself and for yourself when you see the inches melting away, see your outlook on life changing, watch your behavior sliding into a healthy frame of mind. There are support groups all over the place to help with the transition of our lives. Take advantage of them. You will find you have no original thoughts and issues. You are part of a big club. This is a learning experience.

[andielmt 0]

i can relate, ever since i went to the surgeon ive been a little depressed and even thinking about not doing surgery at all. part of my reason is because my doctor said that he would do it but he prefers the bypass. my friends are trying to talk me into the bypass saying that the band wont work etc. so ive been so overwhelmed. if youve been excited about the band most of the time think of that you didnt come this far to quit. is this what you want. what will you do if you dont have the band?

andrea

[lainee 0]

I Was Sooo Glad To Read The Last Four Posts Wrote In Answer To Cookielovers Post About Her Fears And Depression Over Banding And The Possible Outcome Of How She Would Feel Once Thin, I Too Have Had Lots Of Worries And Mood Swings Since Starting This Journey. I Was Banded On 11aug 2007 Here In England And I Still Don,t Know If I Have Done The Right Thing. I Want This To Work And Am Willing To Work At It But I Can Relate To Cookielover,s Feelings And Hope The Answers You Gave Give Her As Much Inspiration And Hope As They Have Given Me. I Have Only Joined This Site Yesterday And It,s Great To Hear Everyone Is In The Same Boat,

[Wendell Edwards 73]

I am having my lap band installed on October the 3rd, but I am not as thrilled as I thought I would be. In fact it is the opposite- I am depressed. I want to stay in bed all day, I have no focus, I want to cry, and I feel hopeless. I was fired up about getting banded during the summer but during the waiting period I lost all interest.

My doctor did not put me on a pre-op diet, but after reading the posts on here I decided that it was best to put myself on a pre-op diet, and so I did. However, I did not stick to it. I just did what I wanted, ate what I wanted, and then beat myself up as much as I wanted to. I don't recall being this type of person, but now I am.

You know what I fear the most? It is being thin. How are you suppose to act when you are thin. At this moment I am invisible, no one sees me. How will it be when the weight comes off and I have no control of what others see? Do I want to be thin? Has anybody else fought with these feelings???

I act the same way I did when I was larger. How you act is up to you.

I do agree that I am now invisible, as opposed to being the fat guy everyone stared at.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

How many people know many, many people who had gastric bypass and gained all their weight back? I know more than I can count. They can stretch their pouch out easily. Sure the first year the weight just falls off. But can they keep it off? Gastric Bypass is not a miracle cure either. At least with the band, we know when we need a fill and can go and get one.

[PCGIRL 0]

Hi, Cookielover. I really feel for you. I have felt exactly the same way many a time. I am going to get hooked up with a Doctor this week and have been going through many an emotion. I know I am going to do this because it has been 40 years that I have struggled with this food issue -- weight issue.

I know I will have lots of emotional stuff to learn before I get a real understanding of what it's like to be "thin". I have to re-order things, relearn my actions with food.

I feel I am ready for that -- I have to be or my health is going to go downhill for good. I have been lucky and healthy through my many ups and downs, but my siblings are starting to show very bad signs of morbid obesity, and I am right there behind them.

I need to do this for my psyche and my physique -- not for vain reasons but for real life reasons -- good life reasons.

So good luck to you. Hang in there! WE are all behind you! I may need lots of help in the future and I hope I can come to these pages for it.

Good vibes you way, PCGIRL

[Big As Life 0]

I feel great...I love that people are beginning to notice that I have lost 52 lbs....I have more energy, I can exercise, and that is such a big plus for me...I LOVE MY BAND....I WOULD DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW....BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF...

[cookielover 1]

Hello my lovely supporters. I am feeling much better now. I paid my money, and now there is no turning back. I knew then, and know now and will know later why this is the best decision for my life. I was reading the post and it occured to me, "Dude, what if I fail?" Honestly that was what was really bumming me out. Now you need to understand I am a "take charge ask questions later" kind of person. I run in and assume success, and know what- as a result I usually am.

But this is truth I have never shared with anyone:

In my past I was a manager in a big company and on my way to bigger and better things. I was outgoing and popular. I was the head of committees. I had a lot of friends, and I was always cheerful and smiling. I threw a lot of parties and overall had a passion for life. - But inside it was all a lie. I was shy and dying. I hated the parties and I wanted to hide. Now after getting sick I have locked myself away from the world and the only people who see me are my family. (I am disabled.)

I have and always had low self esteem. I always felt like a sham, and I hid behind my fat. Now my weight is slowly killing me and I have to come to the realization that I need fix my weight. I can't hide behind it anymore. I need to live my life. I am capable, because the bottom line was: it was me doing all those wonderful things before. I need to learn to love myself as I am.

SO, I am going to find a weight loss specialist and work through this as I lose the weight so I don't do this alone. I am going to keep coming here for support.

AND....

I 20 minutes ago I just booked a trip to Disneyland for next week before my surgery. I am going to go and enjoy myself and stop beating myself up for things that are not my fault. (I am not going to compare myself to other people when I am at Disneyland, I am just going to think about how great I am.)

Thank you for letting me tell my story.