I'm a little down today

[Lucky2Lose 184]

So my 17 year old daughter and I were talking last night and she said I'm obsessed with my weight..that it's all I think about that I'm suppose to be the person she looks up to..guess that means she doesn't at the moment..lol

I told her I'm human..not perfect..and that weight has always been a sensitive issue for me. I've never been very big but over 200 lbs for the last 20 years or so. I was raised that men don't like big girls, even though I've been married twice and dated fairly easily over the years. The last two years I haven't. Something has changed in me mentally and I think about my weight a lot. I saw on FB a guy from back home that has asked me out on and off for a couple of years and I've always said no because I was sensitive about my weight and meeting him after all these years..so I just saw he is now dating another girl I went to high school with..she said he's a keeper..although I am very happy for them, I'm starting to think my daughter is right..letting my weight get in my way of happiness for years..she said even when I get to the weight I want..she thinks it won't be enough..she might be right..idk..when I get to goal weight, will I still see the chunky gal in the mirror? I've been this way for so long I am not sure how to change..gain that confidence back..feel comfortable in my skin now..not 'when' I get smaller.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Armygalbonnie 643]

I have found that I am always obsessed with my weight. I'm either obsessed because I'm out-of-control eating what I want and watching the pounds add on, or I am obsessed with dieting and losing weight. I had lost 110 lbs one time, years back. I wore a size 6/8 and I still walked to the plus size section to try on clothes. It took a long time for me to realize how thin I was. I would still ask for validation, constantly asking my daughter if I was fatter than someone else. I don't know if this time will be different but I'm trying to work on my self-thoughts and self-talk. Body dysmorphia is a real thing and much harder to work through than losing the weight. I too, allowed my life to be placed on hold, while I tried to lose weight. I am ready to live!! I think we are both on the right track. I wish you the best in everything.

[JamieLogical 8,710]

I think a lot of people do fall into the trap of thinking that all of their problems will magically go away when they reach their goal weight. While obesity can be a HUGE problem in itself and can cause a whole host of related problems in your life, not all of your problems are weight-related. It might be a worthwhile exercise to take some time to really think about the issues you are struggling with and whether or not they are genuinely caused by your weight. Identifying those problems and the causes of them can give you a jump on working to resolve them so you won't be disappointed and frustrated once you reach goal. Also, those sorts of issues are the kind of thing that can eventually derail your commitment to the weight loss process, so better to start working on them sooner than later.