No where else to vent

[sunsetsue 67]

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

I'm sorry but your "husband " is a coward! Who does that?! I believe when someone leaves you because of physical reasons (lost weight/ gained weight) that person never really loved you.

But the good side of it is you have so much to look forward to! Sometimes it takes extreme measures for us to see the true colors of people. You will overcome this.

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[reree6898 1,164]

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.

I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.

I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

I'm sorry but your "husband " is a coward! Who does that?! I believe when someone leaves you because of physical reasons (lost weight/ gained weight) that person never really loved you.

But the good side of it is you have so much to look forward to! Sometimes it takes extreme measures for us to see the true colors of people. You will overcome this.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I have no doubt that my husband did love me and in a way still does. There is no excuse for what he has done or how he has treated me but the demons he was battling simply won out sadly. Thank you for the encouragement at the end of your post. I am trying each day to overcome.

[Lilikchen 13]

The same thing happened to my niece! Her husband moved all his stuff out when she wasn't home THEN called her and told her he wasn't happy and was leaving! She was devastated! A few years later she fell in love with a much nicer guy, got married and now has a beautiful little boy. Losing that first jerk was the best thing that happened to her in retrospect.

[DebiW 45]

@@reree6898 Your husband did this in the most cowardly way possible. Please don't blame yourself. You can be so proud of yourself for your weight loss, and for doing this to get healthier for your family. I'm glad that you feel confident enough in us to share your vents here. We care and are here to listen anytime that you need to talk.

I hope that you have had a very Merry Christmas today.

[504chic 53]

Wow! I hear so many stories of husbands abandoning their wives after weight loss. My husband and I talked about this several times and I am praying that he understands I did this for a better quality bog life and nothing else.

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[Malin 470]

No lie, that was a chicken sh*t move on his part. This sounds like HIS problem, not yours. And this time of year too. You keep doing what you do and be there for the kids.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Edited December 29, 2016 by KindaFamiliar

[reree6898 1,164]

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Everyone can have their own opinion but it is never ok to walk out on a marriage and children with no explanation or warning.

[sunsetsue 67]

So much name calling and uninformed judgement...

You know what?

Sometimes just up and leaving is the right thing to do...

Sometimes it's the better option...

If stuff is done, it's done..

Yep, it can hurt...

But so can dragging sh*t on for weeks/months/years..

The ONLY dodgy thing I saw (if I've understood the OP) is taking all the money from the account - that's kinda low...

But as for the rest - grieve the end of your relationship and move on...

You'll be fine..

Good luck to you...

**EDIT** - Upon re-reading the original post I saw that the husband took half the money in the account...

So I'm ok with the guy's actions...

I'm sure it wasn't a decision he made lightly...

Birds of a feather flock together.

Actually when you take a vow in a marriage AND have children you literally don't have the right to just leave with no explanation. Of course your ok with his actions your not the woman he left after having surgery. Your not the one sleeping Alone in the bed wondering wtf you did to deserve that.

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[Fredbear 397]

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is?

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

[Dee~Dee 107]

Wow

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[sunsetsue 67]

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is?

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

There's a difference between a business contract and a marriage. For example you don't sleep in bed with your boss and have kids as soon as you sign a contract. I feel sorry for the woman who fall victim to some of you manipulating ass men! Y'all stick up for each other like some Girl Scouts. Children are a blessing not "complications " God I hope y'all ain't breeding.

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[Odie 249]

Marriage is just a contract; contracts get broken all the time. What do you think divorce is?

Also, relationships can be ended by either party. You don't need the other person's consent to end it.

Having children complicates it, but in the end if you want to leave, you can leave. (Just expect a huge load of cr4p dealing with the children aspect of it, legally...)

You're just bored and writing these things to get a reaction, right? You can't be that cold and callous!! You should reread the original post. Her husband slunk out like a dog that peed on the rug!! A real man faces his wife and tells her he is leaving! And he doesn't take half of the money they have because he left his children there to be taken care of!! Nobody has to stay in a relationship if they don't want to be there, but they do have to have a backbone and explain their actions. They weren't in the "contract" alone and even when breaking a real contract, of any kind, an explanation is required!

[Fredbear 397]

No children for me, thanks. I want to (continue) enjoy(-ing) my life, not endure it.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited December 29, 2016 by Fredbear

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

"Everyone can have their own opinion but it is never ok to walk out on a marriage and children with no explanation or warning."

I do agree with your "own opinion" statement @@reree6898

Each if us are entitled to such...

My point, however, is this -

I'm not aware of the full story...

I'm not aware of all the details...

So I'm not in a position to make judgments or call the guy names...

I've no doubt that you're hurting and you feel like sh*t...

But sometimes "this isn't working for me" IS the only explanation...

Again, I'm not assuming to know what is going thru the guy's mind...

The fact is, he MAY be a complete tool and be deserving of the petty name calling and character assassination that he's getting from the 'sisterhood'...

But maybe, just maybe, he's a guy who is struggling to put things into words and is doing (what he considers to be) the best he can for all involved...

(Please note, I am NOT including all the previous posters under the 'sisterhood' moniker. Just the overly outraged and militant ones - you'll each know who you are...)

I genuinely wish the best for you...

But I also hope that your (ex?)husband finds the happiness that he's seeking

Good luck to you both and to your family...

Edited December 29, 2016 by KindaFamiliar