Body Dysmorphia and Fear of Failing

[BeYouTiful617 15]

I had VSG surgery on 10/12/2016 HW:253 SW:245 Weight day of surgery:230 CW:198. I was just wondering does anyone else have that constant fear that they are doing everything wrong 2 months post op (I am only able to get in about 2.5 oz. on some days 3oz) I feel like I live in constant fear all the time wondering if I made the wrong decision with my food choice that day. Please tell me I am not alone and this is normal?!???!? I eat usually meat and veggies or a salad (since the beginning I have not been able to tolerate Protein Shakes or some bars). I haven't thrown up yet everything I've eaten I've tolerated well. I overate one time and that was a horrible feeling. I just cant get the fear of failure out of my head!!!

Another thing is (I am still seeing a therapist) at home I look in the mirror and see no changes, I still see the same person. Although I get compliments all the time from friends, family and coworkers. When I go to a store and walk pass a mirror I have to do a double take and cant help but stare at myself for a bit because I look different. I'm to the point where I want all new mirrors in my home LOL! Someone please tell me I'm not losing my mind. Is the fear of failure and constantly being afraid that I am going to stretch my stomach normal?

and the whole not recognizing the weight loss at home but in other place I do!!! WTF is that about HELP ME LOL....

[ayahbesleeved 63]

I'm glad you're talking to a therapist. There's nothing wrong with you, but I generally think every person should see a therapist- especially those of us undergoing such drastic life changes. We can't unpack all the body image baggage you (or any of us) have in one post, too, so it's imperative to seek consistent and in-depth help.

That being said, I do think it's normal to be afraid to "mess things up" with so much riding on this. You've had surgery, you've accomplished a lot in the past few months. But you can only do the best you can, and life if full of trial and error. When I had the lap band put in I was 21. It was much needed but also I wasn't emotionally ready for the change so I over ate a lot, ended up vomiting a lot, etc. if you've only had that happen once- that's just u figuring out the limits of your new body, not you failing at this. You've lost 32 lbs in 2 months- that's nothing to sneeze at. Failure isn't possible unless when you fall you don't get back up. As long as you get back up and keep going, you're not failing. And I don't see you staying down. Success is not linear- keep pushing and even if you gain weight, stumble, fall, you're still better than where you were.

As far as body image issues- I think u have to do positive affirmations. Look at side-by-side pictures of yourself. Track ur progress by weight, pant size, and measurements. When u start seeing all the different ways your body is changing, it'll start to become apparent to you that things are actually different now. With such rapid weight loss, it takes a time for your mind to catch up. It'll get there though! You got this.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[theantichick 2,204]

You're not losing your mind. I couldn't see changes in my face even with pictures side by side, but everyone else could. One day all of a sudden, I saw it. That you see changes in mirrors outside of home means you *can* see the changes. You just have some old tapes playing in your head is all. Keep working with your therapist, and you can put those to rest. It'll get better.

As for worries you're "doing it wrong" and you'll "stretch your sleeve", talk to your team. If you're following your team's plan, then you're doing what you're supposed to. Even if you slip a bit sometimes, but most of the time you're on plan, don't beat yourself up. Being able to eat different amounts on different days is perfectly normal. Some days food sits better than other days, and I'm 4 months out. As for worries you'll stretch your sleeve, talk to your surgeon at your next appointment. You'll gradually be able to eat more at a sitting because the swelling goes down and your sleeve gets used to having food in it with the new structure. There is a little stretch as time goes on, but really a properly constructed sleeve doesn't have a lot of tissue left that has much stretch in it. There's two main kinds of tissue in the stomach, and the stuff that's taken out is almost all of the stretchy stuff. You shouldn't eat to discomfort for a bunch of reasons, but you also shouldn't live in fear of stretching the sleeve because it's not really all that likely.

Hang in there, you're doing great.

[suzzzzz 1,005]

Living in fear of anything will keep you from enjoying this journey and life. You are not on a diet anymore. You are creating a new way of life that includes new eating, drinking, and the physical and mental changes that happen also. Follow your plan and don't hesitate to reach out to your team if you have questions about what and how much you can eat.

I do think most of us have a hard time seeing our own changes. That goes for weightloss and weight gain. It takes time so don't be so hard on yourself!