First consultation (#2) in 30 minutes and I'm going alone

[laurak814 43]

I'm starting this journey over after my husband talked me out of it last spring & today is my first consult for the second time! I'm meeting the Dr, nutritionist & my Patient Advocate today. I'm a bit nervous to be going alone. I didn't tell my husband I was doing this until today when I sent him an email while he was at work. I know kinda shitty, but he would have gone off on me about it & not listened to my reasons for wanting to at least going to talk to them again. Well I have to get going. Wish me luck!

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[Hiraeth 515]

Wow. Do you mind if I ask why he doesn't want you to do this? This is your decision (and a very good one) to better your health and quality of life. I'm proud of you!

[laurak814 43]

He has several reasons. He's worried about malabsorption, regain, & the cost. I've regained every time after loss & he thinks it's drastic measures for an inevitable outcome. Plus I think he's insecure & afraid I'll leave him after I lose. We've been together since we were 18, freshmen in college & I'm 40 now. He has stuck with me through so much. I'm not leaving him. I just want to be happy & healthy.

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[hayleyf3706 150]

I am proud of you for going! It's a hard decision to make, but ultimately it's yours, and could drastically change your life for the better! You will probably have to have a conversation with him tonight about it, since he knows... Just be honest with him. And ask him to be honest with you.

[Hiraeth 515]

He has several reasons. He's worried about malabsorption, regain, & the cost. I've regained every time after loss & he thinks it's drastic measures for an inevitable outcome. Plus I think he's insecure & afraid I'll leave him after I lose. We've been together since we were 18, freshmen in college & I'm 40 now. He has stuck with me through so much. I'm not leaving him. I just want to be happy & healthy.

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He has to realize that you're more at risk for other health problems by being overweight. You have a much higher chance of keeping the weight off by getting this surgery. The reason is because, when you overeat, you stretch your stomach out so much that it doesn't go back to normal. When it's that stretched out, there's an emptiness that you feel you have to constantly fill with food. The point of this surgery is to cut out the stretched part of the stomach so that you feel full more quickly, which causes you to eat less. It also helps you crave less carbs. It's basically allowing you to start over on a clean slate.

My sister's boyfriend is insecure, too. He's iffy about her exercising and getting the WLS because he's worried that she will leave him. In time, your husband will understand that you're there to stay.

Edited December 16, 2016 by Hiraeth

[_Kate_ 2,224]

Talk to him, then talk some more.... then some more. Good luck!!

[MissJDVSG 129]

You have to do what is best for you! And realistically, if you can get your husband to understand where you're coming from, it'll improve your relationship because you'll be happier.

Also, side note, your makeup is totally on point in this picture! Love it!

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[laurak814 43]

Thanks MissJDVSG! I don't put makeup on a lot, but when I do, I go all out with it.

So he responded via email, saying he is confused & hurt. Wondering when I made the appointment, he understands why I told him via email though b/c he doesn't respond well to some information, and he doesn't understand why I would consider doing something permanent to my stomach instead of trying exercise again first. He's worried about complications & the cost (money is tight for us). He still thinks of me as young & capable of losing the weight by exercising. I've had 4 knee surgeries, 1 foot surgery & I'm well on my way to knee replacements, which I'm hoping WLS will help to prevent. He is delusional sometimes, I swear.

I go next week to my PCP to get him to sign off on WLS & I have to see my Orthopedic surgeon about my knees. I also have to make appointment with my counselor to get her to sign off on my Psych papers for WLS. Talking with my Patient Advocate, I could have surgery as soon as the end of March or early April. But I'm not sure if that is a good time for us as a family. It the start of Track season, my husband is our High School coach & my son is on the 8th grade team. Plus my nephew is on the Baldwin Wallace Track Team & I'm going to be going to some of his meets. I need to be able to move around for that & I'm a Sub Teacher. But I don't want to postpone it too long b/c I can't lose too much weight between now & surgery. Can't drop below 35 BMI. I'm currently 39.4.

Sorry this was so long.

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