Support from family and friends

[roxy53 10]

I was wondering what kind of support your friends and family gave you when you decided to have the surgery done?

My mom and my 3 oldest sons and a friend of mine aren't very supportive of me getting this done. They say things like, You don't need the surgery it's not a quick fix you know or why do you have to do that to your body. And that is starting to make me think that I'm not doing the right thing for myself but deep down I know I am. Just wondering.

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[jadeedie 7]

Hi. Everyone is have spoken has been supportive... health comes 1st and they all agree even more the me. Good luck

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[roxy53 10]

Ty jadeeedie

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[sweetzcp 30]

Those that I know aren't going to be supportive-I don't tell! I have only told my husband, kids and 1 friend.

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[hayleyf3706 150]

Everyone in my life has been pretty supportive. Well... except one guy at work that I shouldn't have even told. Don't even like him LOL.

I would just let your family know, "Look, you might not agree, but I need you to love and support me through it." Then they'll change their tune when they see how much you lose!!!

[laurak814 43]

I went to a consult last February with my husband. At first he was interested/supportive. Then he must have done research b/c a few weeks later he totally changed his tune. He is against it, says I can exercise this 80-90# off, with 2 destroyed knees & a history of yo-yo weight loss/gain. I'm 235-240, 5'5" & 40 yrs old. It's not getting any easier to lose weight & my knees aren't getting any better. I actually go today, alone, to another first consult at the same place, to meet a Dr, nutritionist & my patient advocate. I'm doing this without him. I let him talk me out of it earlier in the year & I've gained weight.

I have a very supportive older friend who has gastric bypass about 15 yrs ago. She is super supportive.

The only other person I've told is my dad. He said he will be supportive if I can get the approval of another dr. I'm also going to my Orthopedic surgeon on Monday b/c I'm having trouble w/my knees lately & I'm going to ask his opinion. I trust him implicitly & he also just started treating my dads knees.

Sorry for the long response, but you have to decide in the end who you are doing this surgery for. Who you are living your life for. How you want to live your remaining years. I don't want to be the lump I've been. I don't want to hide in the shadows, being uncomfortable in horrible clothes. I want to be happy & healthy & fit in fun clothes. I want to be able to bend over & not cut off my breath due to my gut. I'm doing this no matter who disagrees. I'm saving the $$ alone & paying for it.

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[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

I told a few very good friends I knew would be supportive and my husband and two teenagers. That was it. Didn't tell my sister or my mother - I knew they would both not be supportive. When they say negative things or are less than supportive or start making medical statements, just ask them where they got their MD and if they would like to talk to your surgeon who thinks surgery is right for you. One of my daughters was hesitant (she's 13) and I think it was fear about my having surgery. We talked through it and now, she's fine with it and giving me fashion advice.

[lisaBme 46]

Those that I know aren't going to be supportive-I don't tell! I have only told my husband, kids and 1 friend.

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Same here! There are like 5 people that actually know. I purposefully didn't tell the ones I knew would be negative.

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[roxy53 10]

Yes but you would think that your own family would support you no matter what the out come. But I'm so used to my mom putting me down I don't care what she thinks I'm doing this for myself not to impress her or anyone else

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[Vinasu 621]

My mom and sister were both really opposed. Even now, months later, they are unhappy about it and a bit passive-aggressive. I can't discuss it at all with them. If they go out and get something to eat, they'll bring everyone back something except me saying, "Well, we don't know what you can eat."

It can be rough. However, I'm 85 pounds down, no longer obese, and feeling great. I'll take a few barbs over constant pain any day.

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

They say things like, ... it's not a quick fix

I'm ignoring their saying that you don't "need" surgery because I have no idea what anyone "needs."

Their second objection is the only thing they've gotten right. There is no quick fix. Surgery is not a guarantee of losing significant weight and maintaining the loss. It's the person who makes decisions and does the work. Surgery is merely an aid. This is one of the most important things to know beforehand and to remember afterward.

Otherwise, I'm also ignoring your family. This is your call. What do you want for your life?

P.S. Rhetorical question: Are your mother, sons and friend overweight? They love you, but their psychological need to have you stay one of them outweighs the love in this instance.

Edited December 16, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[roxy53 10]

Wtg vinasu

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No they are not overweight

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[ayahbesleeved 63]

WLS still has a stigma attached to it- and that's fine. You're doing this to save you're own life. So if people are gonna be judgmental or awkward about it, ask them if they'd prefer that you have diabetes, cancer, knee and hip replacements, etc or have this surgery.

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I only told people I knew would be supportive. They are all well educated and understand the science of weight loss. No ignorant comments.

[50yearoldme 157]

I'm not really going tho tell. I hear So many awful comments. I'm doing this for me, no one else. I'm going to Mexico, my sis in law had hers there and it has been very successful! Its only about $5,000 there!

50 year old me!!