Who is choosing to keep surgery a secret?

[imightknow 39]

My husband knows, and I think that is too much. If I could have kept it from him too, I would have.

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[danithomas 75]

I told too many people. I was excited but several did take the "Oh No! You're not that big! People die after having WLS" approach and it went on and on. Even my PCP kept saying "You're such a pretty girl. Just work out a little and change your diet!"

Um.... been there, done with that. Wrote the cook book...and ate that too!

I had to explain to her as well as my sister and parents that this was not a choice being made because I wanted to get into a little black dress but how this is a choice I made because of all the other health risk I face and deal with each and every day.

My husband is very supportive but was hesitant at first then after speaking with my doctors he came around and my pastor and best friends are supportive as well.

I go in February 1st.... my boss is another ney sayer but she's like 90 lbs wet!

But the bottom line is that no one else knows my pain levels like me, bring out of breath all the time, and living with Fibromyalgia and PCOS at 237 lbs! It's hard!

So this surgery will prayerfully give me life! ☺

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[danithomas 75]

My husband knows, and I think that is too much. If I could have kept it from him too, I would have.

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Why is he not supportive? My husband wasn't at first but after talking to my doctors he was on board.

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[Tdot_VSG_Diva 3]

@@janedoe92 yep, I planned on calling an uber

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[imightknow 39]

My husband knows, and I think that is too much. If I could have kept it from him too, I would have.

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Why is he not supportive? My husband wasn't at first but after talking to my doctors he was on board.

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No, he is super supportive. I am just EXTREMELY private. He knows that. But sometimes in the moment, he likes to over share with people, especially his family. His family has never liked me, they have never given me a chance. They have always done shitty things to me, so I cut off all communication with them. Which has helped a lot, but they still look for any reason to talk about me and make up lies. So I just worry that he could let it slip one day. Or if something was to happen between us. I told him that I wish I could go to legal and draw up some form that says he could never say anything. Haha. I just hate people knowing my business. I joked and used the example that it's like two people committing murder together or a crime, you know you aren't going to say anything but are hopeful that the other person won't. Then the next thing you know, you are in prison.Haha. (I watch a lot of crime shows.) he swears that he won't say anything. I sure hope not.

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[Noneyo 171]

Nope, no one but the hubby. It's a private decision and I don't need to hear everyone else's opinions. I would recommend not telling. So much more relaxing!

[SeattleSleever 23]

I'm secret squirrel too. Only my husband and sister know. I'm telling friends and family that I'm having hernia repair surgery and that's why I can only eat liquids during Christmas. I'm off work till Jan. 3 so when I go back I'll tell co-workers I'm doing my annual New Years diet. I'm not even telling my kids (ages 5 & 9) because I don't want them to worry and don't want to make my weight a focus or topic of conversation. They'll just see their mom getting healthy in the New Year.

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[kheter55 33]

Hi my name is Kathy...only my husband and children know I am going for the gastric sleeve. I see my surgeon again on Dec 26...hoping I get a date then. All of my classes & tests will be done by the 9th of January. I will play it by ear who I tell and when.

[lizonie1 3]

The only person that will know is my spouse. It's no ones business

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[fatchocobomom 43]

I've told my husband, of course. Two of my friends, it sort of slipped out. A few of my friends that I strictly talk to online. They are all supporting me, particularly my husband who is very much my advocate and has told me a million times already "whatever you need to do or change, we'll do it." I have not told my family (my sister, and my Aunt...my mother passed due to obesity and complications from diabetes.) nor have I told my husband's family. I'm scared of being judged by them. It'll come out eventually...my husband and I go to his house with the kids (here in the same town) every Friday for pizza. Still not sure how I'm going to handle that.

It doesn't help that my sister is rail thin (though it's because she doesn't eat and smokes a lot, even while pregnant. ) my father in law is really healthy and lost lots of weight after his heart attack, my brother in law and his wife are physical therapists, each lost weight on weight watchers, and my other sister in law is Korean and can eat 10 gallons of ice cream and lose 5 lbs. I feel really insecure around them then it comes to my weight, and I honestly can't tell with any of them if they will be negative or not.

I'm thinking once I have a date, I will let my father in law know (since we also might need his help to baby sit the kids, and I will tell him not to take it personally if I stop coming over as I adjust.) The rest of the family...we'll see. You'd think my sister would be supportive, considering my mother declined WLS out of fear a few years back, something I see as the beginning of the end of her life. If she had gotten it, I really think she'd be alive now.

But who knows? Maybe I'll change my mind once I'm done and free discuss it.

[maebme 17]

I tell everyone and they have all been very supportive. No negativity at all.

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[Trill 11]

I've told my immediate family that I live with and 4 friends. I'm too ashamed to tell the world. My sister keeps saying I shouldn't be ashamed but I can't help but feel that way. I've been overweight for 27 of my 30 yrs and there were so many times since I became an adult that I could have turned my weight around but didn't. So I feel ashamed for getting to the point I need surgery. I get that not every one feels this way and I commend you for being braver than I. Maybe after surgery and some weight loss I might feel different but at the moment it's on a need to know basis.

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[Newme17 3,444]

I've told my immediate family that I live with and 4 friends. I'm too ashamed to tell the world. My sister keeps saying I shouldn't be ashamed but I can't help but feel that way. I've been overweight for 27 of my 30 yrs and there were so many times since I became an adult that I could have turned my weight around but didn't. So I feel ashamed for getting to the point I need surgery. I get that not every one feels this way and I commend you for being braver than I. Maybe after surgery and some weight loss I might feel different but at the moment it's on a need to know basis.

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No shame honey! Don't dwell on the past...it's a new year! It's going to be a new you! Keep your eyes and heart going forward, because that is the only way we can go! Don't let those negative emotions take hold of your happiness, because it's going to be GREAT!!!

[lizzyskinny73 0]

I have shared with a few people. It's funny. I haven't told any family outside of my children. And my girlfriend. I'm not sure why? They would all be supportive. I want to be independent on this one.

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[GmaDiana 81]

i told everyone.If they have a problem with it,it is their problem.My family and friends have been very supportive.