Who is choosing to keep surgery a secret?

[Tdot_VSG_Diva 3]

I've been overweight most of my life. Every one in my family is skinny, with a few being 20-30lbs overweight. A few years ago I was going to have the surgery done in the states (I'm in Canada) and my mum took a month off of work before I even had a surgery date booked. She was DISTURBINGLY excited.

I'm not telling anyone because my weight loss alone will be 'exciting' to my family and friends. I don't want to draw attention to myself, just because I happen to be the only fat person in my family. I don't want my entire family at the hospital, smiling at me, cheering me on, and being excited for me. As supportive as all that sounds, what I really feel when they encourage me to have wls is this 'we've been disgusted with the way that you've looked all these years, and we can't WAIT until you're FINALLY as skinny as us'

Soooo, yeah. I plan on staying away from my family for a while after I have the surgery. Thank god I'm a student, so I can blame my weight loss on a hectic schedule, eating 'right', and using the gym at school. I was in a car accident in January, so someone might realize that working out with a knee injury like mine is nearly impossible, but they'll be so 'happy' with my weight loss, I think they'll suspend their thought process on the subject.

I am worried that I'll need someone to take care of me the first few weeks out of the hospital though. What do you guys think? Should I tell at least 1 person? Will I need someone to take care of me, or is it ok to do this on my own?

[tifftobe 1]

My mom and one friend knows because she is doing it as well. Not even my boy friend knows cause the first thing everyone will say is ohh just work out and lose it the natural way. But I've don't that and gain back an extra 20lbs every time.

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[cdsjjotn 516]

I've only told close friends and family, mainly because I don't want the attention, questions, and comments that go along with the surgery.

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[janedoe92 260]

I've been overweight most of my life. Every one in my family is skinny, with a few being 20-30lbs overweight. A few years ago I was going to have the surgery done in the states (I'm in Canada) and my mum took a month off of work before I even had a surgery date booked. She was DISTURBINGLY excited.

I'm not telling anyone because my weight loss alone will be 'exciting' to my family and friends. I don't want to draw attention to myself, just because I happen to be the only fat person in my family. I don't want my entire family at the hospital, smiling at me, cheering me on, and being excited for me. As supportive as all that sounds, what I really feel when they encourage me to have wls is this 'we've been disgusted with the way that you've looked all these years, and we can't WAIT until you're FINALLY as skinny as us'

Soooo, yeah. I plan on staying away from my family for a while after I have the surgery. Thank god I'm a student, so I can blame my weight loss on a hectic schedule, eating 'right', and using the gym at school. I was in a car accident in January, so someone might realize that working out with a knee injury like mine is nearly impossible, but they'll be so 'happy' with my weight loss, I think they'll suspend their thought process on the subject.

I am worried that I'll need someone to take care of me the first few weeks out of the hospital though. What do you guys think? Should I tell at least 1 person? Will I need someone to take care of me, or is it ok to do this on my own?

You'll definitely need to tell someone so you can ride to and from the hospital, or you could Uber I suppose? Good luck!

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[nlmguerrero 50]

I have told many people. I've told all of my close friends, family, and co-workers. I know that the change is expected to be quick and I don't see how that could have been kept a secret. I am a teacher though, and I chose not to tell my students. I do not want any of my overweight students to feel bad about themselves or believe they need to have surgery.

I have been overweight my entire life. I lost 77 pounds through weight watchers once but that was a slow process. Those that weren't supportive, I'm fine with. They can do research and see why I chose to have surgery or keep their negative comments to themselves. This was for me, for my health, and I'm not ashamed.

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[kmeys0130 10]

In the beginning just my wife and a friend from work knew. Now it has gotten out to a few more people at work since I told the Nurse Manager that I need a month off after surgery. Also, my mom asked me outright and I had to tell her. Eh, I just don't want to deal with all the nay-sayers and the unwanted advice. A few are supportive but I frequently get the "Are you SURE you want to do surgery? You're already doing so well on your own." That one really pushes my buttons and drives me INSANE. Or the whole "why are you taking the easy way out?" Yes, I've already lost 42lbs but I started at 361 and am currently 319 at 5'6". I still have a long way to go. And as far as the easy way out.. yeah getting sliced open, being on a liquid diet, having to re-learn eating and re-structure your relationship with food AND deal with nay-sayers and lack of support.. yeah that's the real easy way out

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[Newme17 3,444]

I wish I could be more open about it with everyone I know. Only my husband knows. Unfortunately, my sister had the bypass done and she gained it all back and then some (she also didn't take care of her mental issues that got her there). So, most everyone in my family will automatically equate my surgery with her's even though we are nothing a like. My mom has always been overweight and hasn't done anything about it. My dad has always been a fitness fanatic and is always about working out and eating right, doing it all on your own. My boss is a fitness competitor. She lives in the gym...I doubt she'll be supportive. So, I'll be skirting around the actual truth about why I need to be out. I just wish I could tell everyone but I know it wouldn't be well received. Pretty sad huh?

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[halftheman.co.za 59]

I have no issues in telling people how I lost 319lbs. I also have no issues in admitting that I had lost control of my life and needed drastic change and intervention..anyone who judges me for taking back control does not deserve a second of my time. Don't be ashamed.

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[deb2571 70]

I will tell anyone that asks. I have nothing to be ashamed of or hide. If I can help someone else struggling with their weight I'm all for it.

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[IveGotThePower 395]

Boofy71 - I agree with you. I feel like I've already been judged most of my life for my weight, so any ignorant or judgmental remarks are nothing new really. I didn't tell anyone except my Husband until 1 or 2 weeks before surgery. Then I told my immediate co-workers since I figured they would notice some weight loss and might wonder if I was sick. My co-workers asked some questions and it is a non-issue now. I have been so happy with my progress that I'll share with anyone who asks.

[andreainfresno 11]

I told my 3 adults children, and a long time friend. My supervisor only knows I am having surgery and to keep that confidential. After surgery not sure what I will do. The people at my job that I suspect have had surgery reply "diet and exercise"

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Edited December 18, 2016 by andreainfresno

[laurak814 43]

I have no issues in telling people how I lost 319lbs. I also have no issues in admitting that I had lost control of my life and needed drastic change and intervention..anyone who judges me for taking back control does not deserve a second of my time. Don't be ashamed.

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Holy wowza!!! 319# is impressive!! Congratulations! You're a Rock Star!!!

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[thunder32 65]

While in the process told no one outside immediate family...when pre op diet started I was very open and now 6 months out when people ask how I lost so much....I explain all the hard work that comes with the surgery... again it is all a process we need to go through. No right or wrong

thunder32

[tthomas70 2]

Maybe

[tthomas70 2]

I may be the first person to do it, but I dont plan on telling a single person. I have always been private and my family and even boyfriend are a bit judgemental about weight.