Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Duh...How to decide whom to tell?



Recommended Posts

If you've been telling everyone in town and elsewhere, including dearest family members, dearest friends, co-workers, storekeepers, the neighbors, the babysitter and all others about contemplating surgery and been stunned by the negative responses, consider the following.

Did you give them your Social Security number, and bank statements and credit card numbers as well?

What?

You wouldn't?

Why not?

You think that info is personal and not their biz? You really do?

Golly, gee, who'd a thunk it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only told my hubby and you strangers :), I agree, no ones business!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I'm here every day because I want to discuss it with people who don't judge me. There is no need for me to share it with folks who would. No one who doesn't live in my house knows.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Vinasu. I told my immediate family about the surgery and that's it. My mom, on the other hand, is telling everybody. She doesn't get why I would keep this to myself. She's never suffered the stigma of being obese.

She also shares with everybody that she's a diabetic. Pre-op, I would go to lunch with her and the waiter/waitress would ask us if we want bread or dessert after the meal. My mom would reply "I can't. I have diabetes." I told her that you can just say "no, thank you" and that's it. They don't have to know your condition. Sometimes I think she wears her disease like a badge and she doen't get why I wouldn't do the same.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Vinasu. I told my immediate family about the surgery and that's it. My mom, on the other hand, is telling everybody. She doesn't get why I would keep this to myself. She's never suffered the stigma of being obese.

She also shares with everybody that she's a diabetic. Pre-op, I would go to lunch with her and the waiter/waitress would ask us if we want bread or dessert after the meal. My mom would reply "I can't. I have diabetes." I told her that you can just say "no, thank you" and that's it. They don't have to know your condition. Sometimes I think she wears her disease like a badge and she doen't get why I wouldn't do the same.

Hi, im new to this site and havent replied to anyone but your comment is so relatable. my mom had cancer and tells every soul thatll listen. i mean shes a survivor and should be proud but i on the other hand am very shy when it comes to stuff like that. she also told me why the hell be ashamed? but its not that im ashamed its just that, what does it benefit others to know ? i understand you completely.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my sleeve done yesterday, my husband is the only one I told, not even my mother who is judgemental. I would have not told my hub if I could have gotten away with it! For me, one of the challanging issues is that I had to have it done where I work. Very uncomfortable because I know all the anesthesia docs personally. And within the whole hospital system (food runners, lab techs, nurse supervisors and admission clerks, I have no doubt I will be outted! I had no choice but to have it done where I work, ins would not cover any other hospital....but the bright side of that is that I wouldnot have qualified anywhere else. Starting weight 235, no comorbidities. Everyone struggles in there own way, the people here get it,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Once I decided to blog about it, it didn't make much sense to try and keep it secret. LOL. However, I will disengage from conversations where people have quit listening to what I have to say and are only trying to push their attitude and opinion on me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@theantichick, I'd think that the ones who quit listening would evaporate into the ether, i.e., transfer their affections to a different blogger. Wrong. The internet has everyone wanting to have his say. Every idiotic thought is newsworthy, doncha know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually managed to have surgery and a two day hospital stay in, not just the hospital, but the actual building I work in without anyone noticing... I told my assistant yesterday because she keeps getting me giant coffee drinks to go with all the holiday asked goods she is bringing into the office.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×