Crying in the shower

[ramsey2008 26]

Spent four hours at a Christmas party with over 200 people and waitresses kept coming up to me asking if I wanted a drink, food, Cookies... (i'm still on just liquids)

I came home and just couldn't stop crying. I laid in the shower and cried a nasty snotty cry and listed off out loud all the food I wanted to eat so bad.

While doing this and texting my friend who is 10 months PO I realized why I was so upset, why i'm obese.

I haven't ever told anyone, but I want to tell someone.. so here I am.

I grew up poor, dirt poor. We went days without eating and when there was food - you had to eat it fast before someone else did.

When I met my husband and had kids - I became a food hoarder and I buy tons of food, crazy amounts of food. $300+ a week crazy food...

I still eat fast. I still eat A LOT because I have that whole "eat it before someone else does" thing goin' on in my head.

I promised myself and my kids that I would never go without food, my family wouldn't.

So not eating brought up some really painful painful wounds.

I have a therapy appointment on the 20th.. I can't wait.

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[rte837 141]

How brave of you to share. How wonderful you made that connection. It is a loss; giving up food. And it's a very hard time of year to be so fresh out of surgery. I'm glad you're going to talk to someone. You did a wonderful thing for yourself, but it cost you. You had to give up and very close friend; food. As time goes by and you start losing weight, you will be happy you were brave enough to do this for yourself. Blessings. Keep up posted! And Merry Christmas.

[Martha Parker-mcneal 166]

I remember going thro a grieving period too. it was like a death. I was losing my best friend ( the food) it was what I used to stuff all the feelings that were too painful to face for me. I tried to fill the empty spot but of course the food only lasted a short time and then I had to have more and more the therapy idea is great. you need someone to talk about all this with. remember you have us and we understand cause we have all been there. when my therapy sessions ended I started going to overeaters anon. I still go and it helps me. you are in my thoughts.

[cbradley 23]

Very brave to share. I didn't grow up with a lot either. I've always bought Good in bulk when I had the money... My surgery is scheduled for Dec 27th. I didn't go to my Christmas party for those same reasons. Keep in touch

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[happynfree1996 6]

Yes. It's awesome you came to this point to realize this. I wonder what I will find out. I know it's connected to my past. My sleeve is 12/14

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[esskay77 785]

That's sad and fabulous all at the same time. Sad that you had to go through that but fabulous that you made the connection, that you shared with us -- these are the tools that will make you successful!! Talking about it is good! Seeing a therapist to talk to about it is even better. I know my friends are supportive but they don't want to hear about it anymore! So, a therapist is perfect!!

Best of luck. I know you will do well.

[ramsey2008 26]

Thanks everyone. My surgeons pa told me before I left the hospital.. "be kind, be patient, don't take the anger out on everyone." I was like uhh what anger? That anger didn't come until day 5. :-/

Then she said "Think as if food was your boyfriend, you loved this boyfriend for a very long time and then out of no where he breaks up with you and even though you love him, you can't see him anymore."

Thats fits.

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[Carrie P 24]

This sounds almost identical to my story. I'm seeing an eating disorder specialist to deal with some of those things from my past and how they affect me now.

Sorry, I know it's painful.

[Aggiemae 739]

We all have eating disorders.

Getting an insight like this, as painful as it was, is a positive thing in the long run.

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[Noneyo 171]

Thank you for posting, you made me realize where my issues with foods came from. ????

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[ramsey2008 26]

^^ I hope you see someone who helps you too hun

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[ShannonLove 0]

Hi I just got done reading your story and I found it to be sad , and most importantly your strong , and brave to tell it to people you don't no ! But I truly understand how your feeling see my past is a little different I had plenty of food to eat but my family treated me like the black sheap of the family ,so I ate to full the pain ! Please don't give up ! It's good your going to talk to someone ! I just had the " GASTIC BYPASS SURGERY " on December 1st and I came home on Saturday 12/3/16 & I've been depressed ,sad and lonely !! So see your not alone threw this battle !!

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[MsShortyDee 160]

Spent four hours at a Christmas party with over 200 people and waitresses kept coming up to me asking if I wanted a drink, food, Cookies... (i'm still on just liquids)

I came home and just couldn't stop crying. I laid in the shower and cried a nasty snotty cry and listed off out loud all the food I wanted to eat so bad.

While doing this and texting my friend who is 10 months PO I realized why I was so upset, why i'm obese.

I haven't ever told anyone, but I want to tell someone.. so here I am.

I grew up poor, dirt poor. We went days without eating and when there was food - you had to eat it fast before someone else did.

When I met my husband and had kids - I became a food hoarder and I buy tons of food, crazy amounts of food. $300+ a week crazy food...

I still eat fast. I still eat A LOT because I have that whole "eat it before someone else does" thing goin' on in my head.

I promised myself and my kids that I would never go without food, my family wouldn't.

So not eating brought up some really painful painful wounds.

I have a therapy appointment on the 20th.. I can't wait.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

You will heal and become healthier. You got this.

MsShortyDee