Two Week Countdown - Husband Freaking Out

[SeattleSleever 23]

Started my pre-op diet today and went over all the post-op dietary details with my husband who will help care for me. All the sudden it's hit him that I'm really doing this and he's started to panic. He was initially supportive when I started this journey six months ago but is now saying he'd like me to postpone the surgery and give dieting another chance...removing 3/4 of my stomach is extreme and unnatural...I'm going to be miserable during Christmas (surgery is 12/21)...I won't be able to stick with the plan and make myself sick...I'm just going to stretch out my new stomach, etc etc.

I keep trying to reassure him that I'm confident in my decision, it's only one Christmas I'll be sacrificing (by not eating Cookies or drinking alcohol), despite my terrible track record with diets this time will be different, I will follow the doctors guidance so I won't get ill, etc. He tells me he is so scared about this he's not sleeping and thinks about what a bad idea this is all day long. He's begging me to reconsider.

Anyone else have a family member/friend they had to "sell" on the idea of gastric surgery? Any good stories, videos, resources I should share with him to help out his mind at ease and reassure him that this really is a good decision for long term health? I need him in my corner and will need his support to get through the early months. Right now he's a negative ball of nerves. Advice appreciated.

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[Andell 53]

We are scheduled for the same day! Let me be honest, there is nothing you can show or tell him because his fear isn't coming from a rational place. Postponing wont change his mind, he'll just go through the same feelings again 2 weeks pre-op.

My guess is that we will both sleep through most of Christmas day as it's supposed to be my first full day home. My kids will be with my in-laws so i wont be cooking or doing the usual. I thought about going to hang out with a friend but I don't want to socialize that soon afterward.

good Luck

[trekker954 421]

Trust me, you'll stick to the plan through Christmas and new year and probably valentine's day also. I was the perfect patient even with daily temptations as I didn't want to damage my new stomach or get sick, plus carbs and sweets didn't interest me. Now at four months, I can see the challengers getting more difficult and it does take some will power to say no.

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[Malin 470]

@SleevedByChristmas You know, I think he's more afraid of how it's going to impact him. Maybe I'm wrong...but is he obese too? Maybe he's afraid of change...change he can't control. This is nothing new unfortunately...

[genn 460]

I had my surgery a couple days before Thanksgiving I came home from the hospital the day before Thanksgiving I had rny. I went to our Thanksgiving gathering at my mother-in-law's house I stayed the entire time I drank a half a cup of turkey broth well everybody else ate. I socialize and everything else I was fine you will do great and be fine. And as somebody pointed out to me while everybody else is complaining about the weed that they gained from the holidays you will be glad about the weight you're losing during the holidays. It's all but normal for your husband to be worried but believe me you will be OK and eventually he will see that this is the best thing for your health. I was lucky my husband my in-laws and my parents were very much on board with us and new that within the last few years my health was at a downward spiral and it was time for me to change my life and this was my chance. I completely quit smoking cold turkey after smoking for well over 20 years. I started exercising I started eating healthier I stopped drinking anything soda related or anything sugary and pretty much just drink Water and then I had RNY this was the best decision I've ever made in my life although I'm only a few weeks out from my surgery I could not feel better about myself and the changes that I've made in my life. And mainly because from here on out I know that my life is just going to get better and for the first time I don't have to worry about leaving my children alone because I'm working on getting myself healthy again. Just make sure that your husband understands that you're aware of his worries and that you appreciate him worrying about you don't just write his worries off because they are valid ones and it could just be that he's afraid that he will lose you because you lose weight you just have to keep reassuring him of that and that he's what u want. I put it to my husband like this you were with me through my chunky stage through my fat stage through my OB stage and through my morbidly obese stage why would I leave you when I'm at my healthy state and I can do more with you. I know that you love me for me not for who I want to be. Because at the end of the day if I put weight back one but I have a health problem or anything goes wrong I know my husband's going to be there for me your regardless of what it is but if I go meet somebody off the street I'll because I feel thinner and I feel prettier one the grass isn't greener on the other side and two I don't know if that person will be by my side if something happened where my husband I know will be there and I know he loves me and I know I love him!!!! For me specifically this wasn't about getting dinner or being prettier but about getting healthier for my kids and my family so that I know that my kids never have to worry about losing their mom at an early age. I wish you the best of luck and like I said just make sure that your husband knows that his worries are valid and that you understand why he's worried and make sure he knows how much you love him and appreciate his input on things. I wish u the best of luck you got this!!! Keep on truckin!!!

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Lmao weight* not weed lol

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[SeattleSleever 23]

Thanks all. We've been talking about it a lot and he's feeling better. I think it's fear of the unknown and worrying about how this will affect our lives which right now center around food and alcohol. He is not overweight. He was blessed with a super-charged metabolism and can eat whatever he wants. I on the other hand have gained 100 lbs since we met 16 years ago. I am thankful he's loved me through the gain, and I am hopeful he'll be happy to have the old, thinner me back in the coming months. I know it will be hard but I'm so ready for it.

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[Sheran4eva 18]

Hi All, I'm getting sleeved 12/20. 5 days of liquids so far and the pounds are coming off!

The liquid diet is the pits, but hanging in. Don't want any complications with a fatty liver.

The holidays will certainly be different this year, but like every thing else it's a moment in time and we will all have better days ahead. We need to focus on the long term goal, the prize.. a healthier life.

I wish everyone a safe and speedy recovery..

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[Aggiemae 739]

My husband, who is normal weight and fit but can eat anything but he was really sad about losing his eating buddy. People here often say that their overweight partners have a very hard time with this

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[FattyGirl14 14]

Hey twin ???????? I'm going in 12/21 as well.. my husband has 2nd thoughts too... n he's been okay with my decision up until now. I think he's just nervous research calms the nerves...

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