I don't get it.

[theantichick 2,204]

The old joke goes... What is the difference between a surgeon and God? God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

sent from mobile device

[roxy726 5]

@avafern...lol @one day you won't be perfect... Love love that!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Babbs 14,681]

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

Let's have sex.

Okay, but be gentle.

[Xombae 113]

The old joke goes... What is the difference between a surgeon and God? God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

sent from mobile device

Haha my surgeon thinks he is God. That guy cracks me up.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Xombae

[Babbs 14,681]

@@AvaFern

Your diet wouldn't work for me, because at my age, my emphasis is more on health and nutrition. I would feel like sh*t if I ate like that. And I'm so over feeling like sh*t all the time.

But you do you.

[Babbs 14,681]

The old joke goes... What is the difference between a surgeon and God? God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

sent from mobile device

Haha my surgeon thinks he is God. That guy cracks me up. 180s.jpg

I dunno. He seems to have a nice enough smile. My surgeon hardly ever smiles. So serious all the time. Like most surgeons, actually.

[Xombae 113]

Don't trust that smug face[emoji14]He's silently judging and comparing himself to the cameraman taking his picture.

[Daisy Day 91]

Accountability is something so many people lack.

We are a population where most of us (not all) have had poor relationships with food as well as other aspects of our lives.

Many might say out loud that they are ready for a change but deep down they are scared.

For some weekly therapy should be for at least 6 months both pre and post op because the food issues could run really really deep.

Sometimes it is the person who signed off on the surgery who never actually checked the mental health notes who could be at fault.

Sometimes it is the patient who lied to get the surgery, pretending to be ready when they know they are not.

Since my surgery a couple weeks ago I have had some monster cravings and I sipped my Water and ate my strained clam chowder (they gave me strained clam chowder at the hospital the day after surgery along with yogurt and pudding), I thought to myself as I craved a grilled cheese sandwich what goes with it and I happily ate my Tomato Soup with a sprinkle of cheese.

Not everyone has the same level of problem solving skills and some will sabotage themselves, and some might even make up a story or two for the sake of attention.

I look at it as if someone signs up and within an hour posts about eating a slice of pizza with in a week of surgery and they have never posted anything before, I will question the source then walk a way from it, it just sounds too fishy to me.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Vipervixen

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

The old joke goes... What is the difference between a surgeon and God? God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

sent from mobile device

Haha my surgeon thinks he is God. That guy cracks me up. 180s.jpg

My surgeon is funny too. You could say he is a real "cutup".

[kmorri 1,689]

I think there is a big difference in someone "cheating" during their post op plan.......I don't call it risking their "success"........it's risking their lives! and I think a lot of folks for one reason or another just don't get that. I think because they look healed on the outside they think their insides look the same...I don't know.

Now down the road after somebody is completely healed and they start eating Cookies everyday as a treat.....well that's risking their success! Big difference, still stupid but at least they won't die...lol

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Back atcha'!

Every post made is not meant for you to answer.

[AvaFern 3,516]

@@Babbs

I should have mentioned I don't eat like that everyday, lol. There are a few times a year where I'm extra busy and that is about what my diet works out to, but the rest of the year my diet is much more aligned with being mostly healthy. I don't eat a ton of vegetables, I eat almost no fruit because the sugar makes me sick, and I probably have too many carbs, but past the days where I'm not trying to stay awake for days at a time, my diet involves a lot of chicken, granola, and crackers. Not super healthy, but calorie and nutrition wise, if I added vegetables and dropped some of the carbs, it wouldn't be as terrible.

[Rosie212104 47]

I'm not offended by your post- you certainly have a right to your frustration. As a heads-up though, I am one of those people that didn't follow all of the rules post-op (after the 6-week point- during the first 6 weeks I was an angel), because I have a medical background and I am fully aware of what will hurt me as opposed to what will just make it hard to lose weight. Every surgeon has different guidelines, so there is nothing wrong with getting opinion from others when there is a documented difference in what surgeon's suggest. Some surgeons still tell you not to use a straw, and yet my surgeon took the time to explain to me why (because some people end up with gas that makes them uncomfortable) and knowing this, using a straw was the only way I got in enough fluids the first few weeks. Many surgeons, in fact almost all, still say you can't drink with your meals. This is not a medically required rule, but rather a guideline that was set because they don't want you to wash the food out of your stomach faster, feel full for a shorter amount of time, and then eat more. A lot of surgeons say no carbonation ever, and yet the origin of this rule is because after the first few weeks (before that the carbonation can irritate your stomach), if people had been weaned off of carbonation, there was a good chance they had eliminated empty calories from non-diet soda. Carbonation won't hurt you after you're healed, but it certainly won't help your diet and teaching it as a "rule" is designed for the benefit of weight loss, not actual immediate health effects (yes it's bad for you, but no it won't kill you right this minute).

Despite their belief to the contrary, surgeons are not actually God, and not all of their directions should be taken as the bible- many yes, but certainly not all. When you are being reasonable in your question (it's 2 months out, can I have a few bites of a burger?- YES, you can), that's sort of the point that forums exist. The idea is to be supportive, not to be holier than thou because you were perfect on the diet and someone else wasn't. I have been within 3 pounds of my goal weight for two years, and at or below goal for about 20 months, and guess what...sometimes I eat crap and I have done so the entire time I have been sleeved. Some people do well with strict rules, and others do not, but when your stomach has healed, you are not physically hurting it by eating crap, you're just hurting your chance of ever being healthy.

I had a granola bar for Breakfast today, goldfish for lunch, and 1/4 of a lean cuisine for dinner. I also had 4 SF Red Bulls, and about 6 cans of diet pepsi. Yesterday I hadn't slept for 40 hours and I had a cookie for dinner. It was good. I did not die or wake up fat, although I am 100% sure my surgeon would not be remotely pleased.

Life is for the living and for the imperfect, and online forums can be a place to knock others down or pick them back up. Every time you make a post you get to decide what kind of person you want to be, to a type of person who may be just like you...scared, alone, sad, and very much in need of a bit of grace. I read plenty of posts where I role my eyes and think the person is an idiot...I then hit the little "x" and move on.

I think it is awesome that you have been so successful and I completely appreciate your right to your frustration, but ultimately, it's not your problem that other people break the rules, so why waste your energy caring? Either click the little "x", grumble about how stupid people are, and move on, or take a little bit of time to provide constructive (key word there) guidance in a way that will not further the hurt and isolation that they already feel. One day you won't be perfect and someone will be kind to you... and it will make all the difference.

Very well said!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

[BarrySue 602]

Please don't reply if your offended by what I'm about to say.

I know I'm not the only person who followed their post op diet to a perfect T. I don't understand why someone would cheat post op and risk their lives for a piece of food. Maybe it's because I don't see food as a crutch? The majority of my life I've only see carbs, fats and Protein. I'm not addicted to it, and it irks the hell out of me when people use that as their excuse. I know I snapped at a newbie on her post a few weeks ago, but I really had the best intentions. My husband, who is a slim guy and very health conscious about food, would chew me out if I even so much as looked at something I'm not supposed to have. He only has the best intentions for my success. I believe everyone going through surgery should have that sort of jerk to keep them in line. Which brings me to my second issue, why would you consult with a forum first, instead of your surgeon about your screw up? Knowing how people are on the Internet and how harsh and rude they can be, wouldn't you rather be reemed by the person who did your surgery and make you feel guilty, rather than a group of strangers? All of our post op diet plans are different, mine for example: Clear liquids for a week, full liquids for a week, my puree stage is 4 weeks long, then I move on to soft foods for 2 weeks after that. Then it's all maintenance from there. I've seen some people where they only need to puree for 1 week. So of course someone like me would have a heart attack thinking about someone eating solids during purees. People don't use their brains, and don't have any self control. And that's what bugs me the most. Our surgeons should make sure someone is mentally competent to handle the diet before the surgery to make sure they don't put their lives at stake over a sandwich, or a pork chop.

Sorry, I really needed to vent that. I'm just so tired of seeing the same posts over and over again

Not offended because I'm pretty similar in my methods/approach to you, but I definitely think it's important to keep perspective that people have different wounds, different problems, and different needs.

Food isn't your crutch. Be grateful for it instead of condemning others for not fitting the same mold. The amount of people on this forum who struggle with eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and a host of other legitimate mental issues is high. If you wave off someone with depression as being weak and not needing to be "coddled," you do a hell of a lot more harm than good. The same can be said for someone with binge-eating disorder. It's so easy to dismiss and marginalize people instead of understanding that there are many deep-seated issues, complicated neurological processes and genuine mental issues that can't be willed away, wished away, or reduced to being fixable by mere choice.

You say your husband chews you out for looking at food? What is helpful to you may be absolutely destructive for others. Some definitely don't need "a jerk to keep me in line," as that kind of harsh vitriol and constant judgment is what contributed to fucked up feelings about food in the first place.

I've been guilty of snapping at people, especially when they pull the old "listen to your body and screw the surgeon" act (listening to your body got you to 300 lbs, your body didn't go through twelve years of college and extensive training, your body craved 5000 calories a day for much of your life, your body is an idiot). But sometimes *I'm* the one who needs to step back, reevaluate my purpose for being here. Why do I post? is it to offer support and advice? Or is it to be a holier-than-thou snark queen who would rather be right than be helpful, constructive, and encouraging. You can absolutely disagree with someone and warn them against idiocy, but it's important to do it in a constructive way. If it ends up with cheap quips and insult, then be honest with yourself about why you're posting. If you can't contribute in a way that will be helpful, then keep scrolling. Because those who agree with you (aka me and many others) totally get your frustration, but all the new folks don't, and get intimidated, resentful, and end up refusing to accept any legit help/advice from us in the future.

[Hammer_Down 631]

Thanks for all the laughs here! I knew some people would get a bit rankled by the subject matter, and it did not disappoint.

There's a few small things mentioned that I disagree with (aside from the obvious "you should always be supportive because someday you'll want support" argument.)

Equating risk taking behaviour like drunk driving with addictive behaviour and stretching it further to equate a battered spouse fearing for their life to addictive eating is just a bad analogy, in my opinion.

Also, claiming that material that can trigger PTSD being labeled as such is another indicator of our desire to be coddled and validated at all times is a fundamental misunderstanding of PTSD.

Other than that, this thread has been very entertaining. A welcome break.