I don't get it.

[stacyrg2 350]

I love how the ones who respond to the "I ate a burrito 2 days post surgery" posts with "we're all human, we all 'cheated,' it'll be ok" are almost always new post ops. For the most part you never get that from the vets, because the vets know what it takes to be successful. Yet, the vets are seen as bullies, and haters and whatever the buzzword of the day is for someone who won't validate your choices. You ate a burrito 2 days post surgery? Good for you! It wasn't a "mistake," it was a choice. For the record, I didn't "cheat" on my pre OR post op diet. I didn't choose to eat things off plan. I was given a food plan that I followed because I wanted to be successful at this. And I have been. 2.5 years post surgery, 133 lbs lost, at goal, but still losing slowly. So, stop with the "everyone did it and survived" responses and mentality. You chose to eat off plan and you didn't get sick or injure yourself? Good for you. But stop with the generalizations that everyone does it. And to all of you who are seeking validation for bad CHOICES (not mistakes), stop complaining that you're being bullied when the successful vets on this site tell you how foolish you're being.

Edited December 7, 2016 by stacyrg2

[genn 460]

I don't understand why someone would cheat post op and risk their lives for a piece of food.

Why do people risk their lives driving drunk or too fast?

Why do people continue smoking after one of their legs had to be amputated?

Why do people go out for a drink the day after they came out of rehab?

Why does a woman get beaten up by her husband and goes back for more?

---

I don't know. And I can't understand. Maybe it's because I never walked in their shoes. Or it's just life.

eewl pick me pick me I know the answer "It's that we are are human and we all make mistakes" lmao it's called rediculous choices and people who have no care in the world of what they're choices do to others or themselves. Sorry had to!! Have a great day!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I don't understand why someone would cheat post op and risk their lives for a piece of food.< /p>

Why do people risk their lives driving drunk or too fast?

Why do people continue smoking after one of their legs had to be amputated?

Why do people go out for a drink the day after they came out of rehab?

Why does a woman get beaten up by her husband and goes back for more?

---

I don't know. And I can't understand. Maybe it's because I never walked in their shoes. Or it's just life.

eewl pick me pick me I know the answer "It's that we are are human and we all make mistakes" lmao it's called rediculous choices and people who have no care in the world of what they're choices do to others or themselves. Sorry had to!! Have a great day!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Now, once released to a full diet, I've eaten all sorts of things that would give the veterans on here fits.

Do we need to talk?

LOL.

Not really. I mean, I cannot restrict carbs the way most of you do. For now, it's fine. I don't know what it will mean once I get to maintenance. It could even prevent me from getting all the way to goal, but so far things are looking pretty good. I try to make it complex carbs when I eat them, but it's not always.

Since I'm also working on food issues with my therapist, I have tried things if I got a craving for them. Oreos, ice cream, cake, pie at Turkey Day. For the most part, I've found that they just aren't as good as I remember them. When I find that it is something I still like, I just make sure it's what I used to consider a TEENY portion because if it's really sugary, my sleeve will only tolerate a little. So I'm getting used to just having a bite of something I think I want, and it's really and truly just a bite.

I also have days occasionally where my stomach turns just thinking about drinking a Protein shake, and all I want are carbs. Those days, I try to find as much Protein source as I can that doesn't turn my stomach, and I end up with more carbs that day than I normally eat.

So I totally get that this is stuff I should probably be doing only after I hit maintenance if I really want to maximize the honeymoon period. Hence my statement.

And therein lies the difference. I don't feel moved to confess my crimes here so I can "get straightened out" or gain some sort of permission or absolution.

If for some reason I share how I'm eating (like right now), I am not going to get pissy if vets share with me that my choices may cost me in the end - not meeting goal, making maintenance harder, whatever. Your experiences are valid, and you guys are the ones who have been making this work. I'd be an idiot not to listen to what you have to say about it. I won't be able to say if my choices were good ones or not until I'm much farther down the road.

I have the option to consider what you have to say, and use it or discard it as I see fit. That's called being an adult.

I don't think anyone who criticizes my choices is being snippy or bitchy, and I certainly don't read any negative "tone" into it. I appreciate that everyone here wants me to succeed, and is just trying to warn me off of choices that might get in the way of that. And I *DO* consider what everyone says, even if I decide it's not the right fit for me.

And I'm not violating anything my surgeon has told me either. I'm well past being released to a full diet, and my doc doesn't push low carb, she doesn't think it's sustainable for most people in the long term. She wants to see better food choices, focus on nutrition, and really good Portion Control. Ketosis makes me incredibly ill, so I have to find the right balance for carbs for myself. I am most definitely not there yet, but I've not given up either. And I'm not eating anywhere close to the way I was before surgery, so I consider that progress.

I also try not to bash the low-carb thing for other people, or advocate that anyone else eat the way I am. I think for most people the low-carb diet is probably the most beneficial post-op. The vets with the experience are generally saying that it is, and many of the physicians are as well.

So I don't know... do we need to talk??

Yes. I'll let you know about WHO later.

[Xombae 113]

Holy crap, I didn't expect this thread to be 4 pages when I woke up ???? I'm really happy to see there are people who feel the same way I do. As for those who feel my post is judgemental. You're right. It is and I'm aware of that. But I am in the rants and raves portion of this forum. So thank you for your input ^^

[summerset 5,265]

eewl pick me pick me I know the answer

Do you remember back in school when nobody liked the grind who said that, including the teacher? (SCNR either, R&R right? ROFL)

[roxy726 5]

So everyone on this forum have some issue with food. To say you have no issues and then talk about those that are open with their issues seems like you also have a problem. I mean we all had some type of weight loss surgery. We all for whatever reason chose surgery because dieting wasn't working. I think to act like your above food or to have a mindset that your not living to eat but eating to live is great. Im happy you got your mind around that. But chewing out others that haven't got there mind set yet is also unnecessary. Every post made is not meant for you to answer. Just remember all members of this forum had some issue with weight loss. We all had or have food issues.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited December 7, 2016 by roxy726

[Xombae 113]

I chewed out 1 person, singlular. Somehow you got the impression I'm going around the forum yelling at everyone who screws up. That's incorrect. After I replied to the post I'm referring to, I haven't so much as read another one about people breaking their diet. I see the titles and I bite my tongue.

Edited December 7, 2016 by Xombae

[Babbs 14,681]

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

[OzRoo 1,492]

Sorry, I really needed to vent that. I'm just so tired of seeing the same posts over and over again

This! Mentally competent to handle the diet/Prescription !!!

This is a Serious matter.

I too am very tired of seeing dangerous early post op choices and behaviours.

The one that floored me when I, myself was very early post op, was: "I ate pizza topping 2-3 days post op" !

These days I just shake my head, and rarely respond to these types of posts. There are just too many of those types of posts lately. Wash, Rinse, Repeat ...... I have ran out of the Washing powder.

Kudos to our experienced Vets.

And yes, this thread is in the Rants and Raves section !

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Babbs

Right on sister!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

Basically. I wanted to lose weight so bad, I have basically dedicated my entire life for the past 18 months to it.

I think for me, the scare I had with my heart was enough to really push me to take it seriously. I don't think that everyone has that kind of traumatic experience to push them to health.

I'm glad I had my surgery when I did and I was able to get insurance to pay for it.

I really feel that since surgery has become fast and easy for surgeons and is a huge money maker, that so many people that don't really qualify for surgery are having surgery. Eventually this is going to skew the results long term in a big way as a lot of people are going to be failures (yes I am using failure, because it applies), and make surgery not seem like the great cure that it really is. All these new people that never hit goal or get anywhere close to it and start regaining before 12 months are going to ruin the stats and make it harder for the people that come after that. Luckily a lot of them are going to Mexico so hopefully they won't count in the stats.

I'm not even going to start on all the anorexics that are going to Mexico and posting here, that is another tragedy that needs it's own thread.

[LittleBill 2,231]

I think that it frustrates me the most when reading to a post where someone ate something that they clearly know they should not have 1 week after surgery is that other posters coddle them. They tell them stories about how they did something similiar and they turned out ok so therefore you will be ok. What?! Really? Just because you did not get sick and die, doesnt mean the next person won't. There is a very good reason they put you on a clear liquid, full liquid, pureed, soft foods and finally regular foods diet. Oh, and regular foods does NOT mean the crap you used to eat.

Those of us that tell them to get help or questions their decisions are called haters. Hmmmm....Now I know i am not a hater but i will say I believe people who are sabotaging this early on need more help than anyone on this board can give them.

They need a therapist who specializes in food issues. If you are breaking the rules 1 week out, when your stitches are still fresh, you are likely still swollen that is called sabotage in my book.

Down the road, these are the same people that tell everyone the surgery did not work for them giving WLS a bad name. I know because i have a nurse (yes, a nurse) in my doctors office that blames her failed WLS on the surgery and not her own behaviors.

Too many others who don't know it yet, need this cure for obesity. I will be honest, I don't want the non rule followers to ruin it for all those that need to come after us.

Those of us that have followed the rules and have been successful work hard at educating people who might need this surgery down the road to survive. So pardon me if their behaviors pisses me off. It can be absolutely exhausting but someone has to tell it straight.

Thanks for your post!!! I agree with you. I don't get why people do this and more importantly I don't get that they won't go get some help to learn to deal with their issues.

And for those of you that won't like my response and question whether or not I followed the rules....I did pre op and post op to the letter until about 6 months post op, then i started introducing small things. I wish i never had done that because now it makes it easy to do it more often. It makes fighting the rebound gain much harder to deal with.

Rant over......

I don't know. That's a pretty "thin" argument there. ;-)

I agree completely. But we are in a society now where people just don't WANT to be coddled, they DEMAND it. That's why we have trigger warnings, safe spaces, blah blah blah.

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

We're not allowed to have Moxie anymore. Bubbles are bad for us. But yeah, another post I find refreshingly succinct.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You know what I don't understand? Whatever happened to just good old fashioned moxie? You know, just WANTING it bad enough, and not making excuses for when you just....don't?

You either want to quit smoking, or you don't.

You either want to work out, or you don't.

You either want to excel at your career, or you don't.

You either want to work hard in school, or you don't.

You either want to lose weight and reach your goal, or you don't.

You know?

Let's have sex.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I'm not offended by your post- you certainly have a right to your frustration. As a heads-up though, I am one of those people that didn't follow all of the rules post-op (after the 6-week point- during the first 6 weeks I was an angel), because I have a medical background and I am fully aware of what will hurt me as opposed to what will just make it hard to lose weight. Every surgeon has different guidelines, so there is nothing wrong with getting opinion from others when there is a documented difference in what surgeon's suggest. Some surgeons still tell you not to use a straw, and yet my surgeon took the time to explain to me why (because some people end up with gas that makes them uncomfortable) and knowing this, using a straw was the only way I got in enough fluids the first few weeks. Many surgeons, in fact almost all, still say you can't drink with your meals. This is not a medically required rule, but rather a guideline that was set because they don't want you to wash the food out of your stomach faster, feel full for a shorter amount of time, and then eat more. A lot of surgeons say no carbonation ever, and yet the origin of this rule is because after the first few weeks (before that the carbonation can irritate your stomach), if people had been weaned off of carbonation, there was a good chance they had eliminated empty calories from non-diet soda. Carbonation won't hurt you after you're healed, but it certainly won't help your diet and teaching it as a "rule" is designed for the benefit of weight loss, not actual immediate health effects (yes it's bad for you, but no it won't kill you right this minute).

Despite their belief to the contrary, surgeons are not actually God, and not all of their directions should be taken as the bible- many yes, but certainly not all. When you are being reasonable in your question (it's 2 months out, can I have a few bites of a burger?- YES, you can), that's sort of the point that forums exist. The idea is to be supportive, not to be holier than thou because you were perfect on the diet and someone else wasn't. I have been within 3 pounds of my goal weight for two years, and at or below goal for about 20 months, and guess what...sometimes I eat crap and I have done so the entire time I have been sleeved. Some people do well with strict rules, and others do not, but when your stomach has healed, you are not physically hurting it by eating crap, you're just hurting your chance of ever being healthy.

I had a granola bar for Breakfast today, goldfish for lunch, and 1/4 of a lean cuisine for dinner. I also had 4 SF Red Bulls, and about 6 cans of diet pepsi. Yesterday I hadn't slept for 40 hours and I had a cookie for dinner. It was good. I did not die or wake up fat, although I am 100% sure my surgeon would not be remotely pleased.

Life is for the living and for the imperfect, and online forums can be a place to knock others down or pick them back up. Every time you make a post you get to decide what kind of person you want to be, to a type of person who may be just like you...scared, alone, sad, and very much in need of a bit of grace. I read plenty of posts where I role my eyes and think the person is an idiot...I then hit the little "x" and move on.

I think it is awesome that you have been so successful and I completely appreciate your right to your frustration, but ultimately, it's not your problem that other people break the rules, so why waste your energy caring? Either click the little "x", grumble about how stupid people are, and move on, or take a little bit of time to provide constructive (key word there) guidance in a way that will not further the hurt and isolation that they already feel. One day you won't be perfect and someone will be kind to you... and it will make all the difference.

[LittleBill 2,231]

@@AvaFern - Great post! I think the best line of the whole thing though, is this one:

"Despite their belief to the contrary, surgeons are not actually God,"