I don't get it.

[Aggiemae 739]

People's le posting questions like "can I have sausage 3 days post op@ make me nuts too. The post op diet is not a suggestion it's a prescription. I want to lose weight so desperately that I had major surgery so I follow mine. I have a concern that people who do not get that WLS isn't some magical solution that will solve there obesity without any further any effort either didn't get good pre op education or just were not paying attention.

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[Aggiemae 739]

Do you really think this is a place to vent people go here to get positive ideas not to hear bt wht u believe is bad, seriously

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Rants and raves is the perfect place for THIS post, life isn't all unicorns farting rainbows. Seriously.

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[The New Kel 1,312]

Habits and addiction are life long battles. Surgery is the easy part but the mind's behavior wants to stay the same.

I am a food addict, but I work at my "recovery" every day. I have not strayed from my plan and I feel I have a handle on it now. Its those addictions and behaviors that lead people eat that stuff.

Why post about it? My guess is that there is guilt and worry and a need for validation. My best advice for them is to seek counseling and therapy. food addiction is a b*tch but it can be overcome.

[reree6898 1,164]

Just wait until you are 3.5 years out, maintaining beautifully, and are called all sorts of fun names for giving well thought out, sincere advice. It's actually quite funny.

And then when the story changes to justify the behavior and it's all you can do not to bust out into mad giggles. My favorites are the people who eat more than I can at at my stage 4 or 5 days post op, say they are too afraid to tell their surgeon when urged to, and then come back and say that they DID tell their surgeon he was OK with it. Uhm, Ok.

Another favorite is the people who say they can "feel" that they are healed a week or two post op. They feel great, they know they should "listen to their bodies" and have at the chips, the ice cream and the pizza. Unless they were given some sort of internal camera and a medical degree at discharge, they can't know that they are healed in the inside. As far as listening to your body? Listening to your body most likely got you to this weight in the first place.

But let me stop...

Just had to say I love you. Your posts are great. That is all.

[theantichick 2,204]

As I've said many times before, there's a difference between "cheating" when it's just a diet, and violating your prescribed diet advancement. One is a simple choice, good or bad. The other is taking your life into your hands. Eating solid food before your surgeon has cleared you is more than just "a mistake, we're all human". You don't see people in AA saying "hey, that's OK, we're all just human". No. They say "we're human, and we screw up, but you get that this was a really bad choice and it can kill you, right?"

Everyone on this board wants nothing but success for everyone on the board. But we get a lot of people who are posting about their choices like they want or need some kind of absolution. I don't get it, either. And a lot of people get their knickers in a twist because of someone else's "tone". Guess what, people? I've been on the internet since the AOL dial-up days, and there is no "tone" on the internet except what you read into it.

I followed my diet progression instructions to the letter, because I'm a nurse and I've seen what happens when people don't follow the post-op instructions. A lot of times, nothing happens. But sometimes, people end up in the ICU or the morgue because they thought they new better than the doctor, or they "just couldn't help it". It was rough. I wanted to taste something other than Water and Protein shakes so bad I was ready to lick a Dorito. But my health was important enough to me that I kept telling myself it was only 10 days more (or whatever at that point) and I got through it.

If you're not ready to muscle through the post-op diet progression, then you're not ready for surgery, period. If you've already had the surgery and have messed up, then the people here have a responsibility to say "hey, you know that was a bad choice, right, and it can hurt you?" And then to say "here's how I got through that rough patch myself". Tone be damned, we should not be expected to coddle people who are potentially killing themselves. Or let the silent readers who don't have good information from their surgery team think that it's just "cheating" and it's OK.

Now, once released to a full diet, I've eaten all sorts of things that would give the veterans on here fits. And I'll suffer the consequences for that, because I'm an adult and I decide what I eat and don't eat. So far, I haven't done too badly. That could change, but for now I'm good. I don't need absolution or permission from anyone for my diet choices, and I don't come here for some sort of weird confession. If I did, I would expect to have people tell me that similar choices derailed them and I might want to consider my choices. That's the point of an online support forum, it's not supposed to be an echo chamber where everyone coddles the poor choices other people make.

I'll step off the soapbox now.

And by the way, this is the rants and raves section. This is one of the purposes it serves. If you find it too negative, quit reading it.

[genn 460]

Do you really think this is a place to vent people go here to get positive ideas not to hear bt wht u believe is bad, seriously

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Rants and raves is the perfect place for THIS post, life isn't all unicorns farting rainbows. Seriously.

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love it!!! Lol

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[Djmohr 6,965]

I think that it frustrates me the most when reading to a post where someone ate something that they clearly know they should not have 1 week after surgery is that other posters coddle them. They tell them stories about how they did something similiar and they turned out ok so therefore you will be ok. What?! Really? Just because you did not get sick and die, doesnt mean the next person won't. There is a very good reason they put you on a clear liquid, full liquid, pureed, soft foods and finally regular foods diet. Oh, and regular foods does NOT mean the crap you used to eat.

Those of us that tell them to get help or questions their decisions are called haters. Hmmmm....Now I know i am not a hater but i will say I believe people who are sabotaging this early on need more help than anyone on this board can give them.

They need a therapist who specializes in food issues. If you are breaking the rules 1 week out, when your stitches are still fresh, you are likely still swollen that is called sabotage in my book.

Down the road, these are the same people that tell everyone the surgery did not work for them giving WLS a bad name. I know because i have a nurse (yes, a nurse) in my doctors office that blames her failed WLS on the surgery and not her own behaviors.

Too many others who don't know it yet, need this cure for obesity. I will be honest, I don't want the non rule followers to ruin it for all those that need to come after us.

Those of us that have followed the rules and have been successful work hard at educating people who might need this surgery down the road to survive. So pardon me if their behaviors pisses me off. It can be absolutely exhausting but someone has to tell it straight.

Thanks for your post!!! I agree with you. I don't get why people do this and more importantly I don't get that they won't go get some help to learn to deal with their issues.

And for those of you that won't like my response and question whether or not I followed the rules....I did pre op and post op to the letter until about 6 months post op, then i started introducing small things. I wish i never had done that because now it makes it easy to do it more often. It makes fighting the rebound gain much harder to deal with.

Rant over......

[theantichick 2,204]

@@Djmohr I was going to quote parts of your post where I was jumping up and down saying "YES YES YES!!" but then it was the whole post. So just YES!!!

[SlimBra 151]

@djmohr. I just love all your posts!! I love to follow you...such an inspiration and you are so informative as a "veteran"

its true...we decided to this journey...we have to be serious about it!!

thanks!!

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[The New Kel 1,312]

Those of us that have followed the rules and have been successful work hard at educating people who might need this surgery down the road to survive. So pardon me if their behaviors pisses me off. It can be absolutely exhausting but someone has to tell it straight.

Well said! Thank you for being a positive example of those of us who are new and learning. We don't need coddling, we need real life advice. I love hearing from the veterans of success.

[MamaSill 12]

@@Djmohr Thank you for always being the voice of reason. I love to read your posts. I am a couple of months away from surgery. I decided because of much that I have read here to start counseling now to begin the change in my thinking about food. I find it sad that people go through this major surgery unprepared for reality. I am grateful that I found this sight and appreciate the "tough love".

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Now, once released to a full diet, I've eaten all sorts of things that would give the veterans on here fits.

Do we need to talk?

[Fredbear 397]

"Hater" is just what idiots call people who disagree with them.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

[theantichick 2,204]

Now, once released to a full diet, I've eaten all sorts of things that would give the veterans on here fits.

Do we need to talk?

LOL.

Not really. I mean, I cannot restrict carbs the way most of you do. For now, it's fine. I don't know what it will mean once I get to maintenance. It could even prevent me from getting all the way to goal, but so far things are looking pretty good. I try to make it complex carbs when I eat them, but it's not always.

Since I'm also working on food issues with my therapist, I have tried things if I got a craving for them. Oreos, ice cream, cake, pie at Turkey Day. For the most part, I've found that they just aren't as good as I remember them. When I find that it is something I still like, I just make sure it's what I used to consider a TEENY portion because if it's really sugary, my sleeve will only tolerate a little. So I'm getting used to just having a bite of something I think I want, and it's really and truly just a bite.

I also have days occasionally where my stomach turns just thinking about drinking a Protein shake, and all I want are carbs. Those days, I try to find as much Protein source as I can that doesn't turn my stomach, and I end up with more carbs that day than I normally eat.

So I totally get that this is stuff I should probably be doing only after I hit maintenance if I really want to maximize the honeymoon period. Hence my statement.

And therein lies the difference. I don't feel moved to confess my crimes here so I can "get straightened out" or gain some sort of permission or absolution.

If for some reason I share how I'm eating (like right now), I am not going to get pissy if vets share with me that my choices may cost me in the end - not meeting goal, making maintenance harder, whatever. Your experiences are valid, and you guys are the ones who have been making this work. I'd be an idiot not to listen to what you have to say about it. I won't be able to say if my choices were good ones or not until I'm much farther down the road.

I have the option to consider what you have to say, and use it or discard it as I see fit. That's called being an adult.

I don't think anyone who criticizes my choices is being snippy or bitchy, and I certainly don't read any negative "tone" into it. I appreciate that everyone here wants me to succeed, and is just trying to warn me off of choices that might get in the way of that. And I *DO* consider what everyone says, even if I decide it's not the right fit for me.

And I'm not violating anything my surgeon has told me either. I'm well past being released to a full diet, and my doc doesn't push low carb, she doesn't think it's sustainable for most people in the long term. She wants to see better food choices, focus on nutrition, and really good Portion Control. Ketosis makes me incredibly ill, so I have to find the right balance for carbs for myself. I am most definitely not there yet, but I've not given up either. And I'm not eating anywhere close to the way I was before surgery, so I consider that progress.

I also try not to bash the low-carb thing for other people, or advocate that anyone else eat the way I am. I think for most people the low-carb diet is probably the most beneficial post-op. The vets with the experience are generally saying that it is, and many of the physicians are as well.

So I don't know... do we need to talk??

[summerset 5,265]

I don't understand why someone would cheat post op and risk their lives for a piece of food.

Why do people risk their lives driving drunk or too fast?

Why do people continue smoking after one of their legs had to be amputated?

Why do people go out for a drink the day after they came out of rehab?

Why does a woman get beaten up by her husband and goes back for more?

---

I don't know. And I can't understand. Maybe it's because I never walked in their shoes. Or it's just life.