Wish I had never told some friends about plan for WLS

[ARNOLDSMB 9]

Are there others who are just at the beginning of this process and told some of your close friends about it?

I did. I saw my surgeon on Nov 15 2016. I came home so excited and empowered because there were

many in the waiting room who were happy to talk to me about it.

I have been told "Oh you could just use that NutriSYSTEM like Marie Osmond. Have you tried it?

I just know if you use a 1200 calorie diet you could do this all by yourself. or You are taking the

easy way out. You just need willpower. I have lost 15 pounds on that. I don't think you have

given the diet the best try.

It killed my excitement and now I plan to keep things to myself. These people are not morbidly

obese and at the highest probably weigh 135 lbs.

Can anyone else relate to this? and for others that are further along in the process offer me more

advice on how to handle these people?

[Liluykj19 5]

@@ARNOLDSMB I can definitely relate. I told family members on Thanksgiving day and all they said was"you are ridiculous all you need to do is stop eating and go to the gym"

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[thprice79 20]

It's very frustrating. One friend told me that I could have done this on my own. All I said was that I did this for health reasons, and I have no regrets. It's your body, and your shoes that you are wearing. You do you!

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[_Mini_Me_ 133]

I've been through this with a few of my friends, I had wanted to keep it to only a few people until after the surgery. One of my friends told everyone else about it in an attempt to persuade me not to get it.It was disappointing because I have tried on my own all my life and needed a little support. My weight constantly fluctuated and I decided I need this for myself. My friends who have tried to convince me not to get it don't understand. None of them have been or are obese. My surgery is scheduled for the 27th of December, (23 days away!) and I only really bother to talk to people who are being supportive of my decision. It really sucks, but I think people who are not supportive just don't understand. I hope you make your decision based on what you feel is best for you, good luck!

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[Honeybee17 65]

Are there others who are just at the beginning of this process and told some of your close friends about it?

I did. I saw my surgeon on Nov 15 2016. I came home so excited and empowered because there were

many in the waiting room who were happy to talk to me about it.

I have been told "Oh you could just use that NutriSYSTEM like Marie Osmond. Have you tried it?

I just know if you use a 1200 calorie diet you could do this all by yourself. or You are taking the

easy way out. You just need willpower. I have lost 15 pounds on that. I don't think you have

given the diet the best try.

It killed my excitement and now I plan to keep things to myself. These people are not morbidly

obese and at the highest probably weigh 135 lbs.

Can anyone else relate to this? and for others that are further along in the process offer me more

advice on how to handle these people?

Besides my husband, I have only told 2 of my very good friends who are very supportive and a family member. Some people, no matter how good their intentions, don't understand how hard it is for those of us who HAVE tried other diets and the constant struggle of the yo-yoing ups and downs. It is okay to keep that part a secret and not feel guilty about it. You're not cheating or taking the easy way out. You are being given a tool to help you manage your eating. That's it. You will still have to eat right and maybe even exercise, just like your 135 lb friends. ☺ How you go about doing that is your business and if they can't be supportive, then they shouldn't say anything and make you feel bad for taking control of your health and your future. I'm not trying to be harsh. I just think friends should be supportive and encouraging.

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[kimberb 323]

I just told people whose opinion I wanted. Needless to say it's been very few people.

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[shellyd88 463]

There's a great solution do not tell ppl that act this way ppl that don't have the weight problem cannot understand if it was simple as just stop eating and go to the gym there wouldn't be a need for bariatric surgery it's the same as drug or alcohol addiction just stop drinking and taking drugs we gee that's so easy why do we have rehab then? I know it sucks but sometimes you just can't confide in ppl you must be your own cheerleader remember it's only your opinion that matters they aren't living in your body or with whatever issues you may have because if it they don't have to live with it you do don't listen to the opinions of ppl who cannot possibly understand the issue

[DeeDee63 3]

If they don't support you they aren't very good friends. We all have our struggle with weight ,we all lose differently,i aplude you for coming to a dissension that works for you. Surround yourself with people to help you

it's a struggle to try to do it alone. Keep up the hard work.

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[mbuczkowski 272]

I consider myself lucky. I have told friends and family I am planning on doing this. All have been super supportive. Although, many have seen me diet and fail. I think they understand

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@ARNOLDSMB

I told a friend that blabbed my choice to people. So I just ended up telling them that I changed my mind because of a different health issue. So you can try reversing it.

I don't live near anyone that knows me so it was easy to keep my surgery to myself. I don't know if people who are around people every day can pull that off.

[ladygg1967 171]

@@ARNOLDSMB

I told a friend that blabbed my choice to people. So I just ended up telling them that I changed my mind because of a different health issue. So you can try reversing it.

I don't live near anyone that knows me so it was easy to keep my surgery to myself. I don't know if people who are around people every day can pull that off.

That's what I did after I got some flicked responses from friends, family, and co-workers, plus I saw how stupid some family members were about another member's WLS (she's been very open with her journey.... I'm so proud of her.....her success is a big part of why I made the decision to have it). As far as people know, I'm still having surgery, and still waiting for my date, but I'm not having WLS.....I've got to have surgery to remove some adhesions/scar tissue from a prior "female surgery"; these adhesions have managed to wrap around my intestines and stomach, impeding my ability to properly digest/metabolize food.....remove the adhesions, solve the stomach/metabolism problem, lose weight. That's my story and I'm sticking with it!

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[BelgianGuy 350]

Just do what you want, if they are your true friends, they will be happy for you, happy about the results you will have. If they are not, if they still tell you you took the easy way out, that you could have just stop eating (as if it was easy to tell change your way of living so brutally), maybe they didn't want you any good since the very beginning...

I did not tell any of my friends. Two weeks after the surgery I started to visit them again (was starting to receive calls like "dude, where are you, we haven't seen you in a while) and told them... Some of them were sad I didn't put them in the confidence but some have admitted they would have tried to hold me back on the surgery decision.

In the end, all of them are glad for me and I kept most of my friends

[Kila Rass 51]

Aww, that's what I'm scared of. I have not told a soul tbh. I plan to make one of my sleeve buddies contact my emergency contact on my surgery date if anything happens but besides that I'm telling no one.

I feel I should be brave and contribute in taking the stigma away from VSG but my family are all slim and judgmental.

[ARNOLDSMB 9]

Thank you to all have responded. I can't tell you how much it means to have someone who

knows what I have went thru trying to lose weight. I am so glad I have this site to talk

to others who are on this same journey. I think being able to be supportive to others

is a great gift. So Thank you!

[SalOdyssey 441]

Are there others who are just at the beginning of this process and told some of your close friends about it?

I did. I saw my surgeon on Nov 15 2016. I came home so excited and empowered because there were

many in the waiting room who were happy to talk to me about it.

I have been told "Oh you could just use that NutriSYSTEM like Marie Osmond. Have you tried it?

I just know if you use a 1200 calorie diet you could do this all by yourself. or You are taking the

easy way out. You just need willpower. I have lost 15 pounds on that. I don't think you have

given the diet the best try.

It killed my excitement and now I plan to keep things to myself. These people are not morbidly

obese and at the highest probably weigh 135 lbs.

Can anyone else relate to this? and for others that are further along in the process offer me more

advice on how to handle these people?

Sadly, I cannot relate. All my friends thin, thick, overweight and everyone in between have been great and super supportive.

As someone who has lost 337 pounds both naturally (254) and the rest after WLS, both sides are challenging, and are NOT easy!

Whomever says surgery is the easy way out, is an ignorant fool and I have no issues calling those people out if/when I see them. Luckily its only been 1 or 2 two and not people I really know.

Feel free to message me on the FB with any questions. I am usually quicker to respond there. See signature below for links.

Best of luck!!