Telling family/friends?

[MichaelaRae 9]

I know I should be able to handle this myself, but I'm scared and everyone here seems to be so supportive I just want to know. How do you go about telling your family and friends? My mother, father, and boyfriend know. They've been incredibly supportive even in this early stage. I've literally just started the process, having gone to a seminar, referral from my PCP, consult with my surgeon, upper GI, and ultrasound for my gallbladder. I have a while to go before the surgery. But I'm worried about telling other family members and friends. I feel like I could get my feelings hurt by those who think they know better/don't understand, and I'm tempted not to tell anyone besides those that already know. Any advice?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[princess77 16]

Personally if your not comfortable telling them then don't. My husband and I both got lap bands 5 years ago and the only ones who know are immediate family.

I felt that they would say it's the easy was out. With out them actually knowing it's just a tool and we are actually doing the work. I felt the same as you and we choose not to say anything.

Sent from my SM-G930W8 using the BariatricPal App

[MichaelaRae 9]

I think I'm at the point where I've gotten a lot of negativity for my weight from various people in my life, and I want to be free of people's opinions and just go on with my life and my goal to be at a healthy weight. Thanks for the advice, it helps to know that others have overcome these challenges.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[princess77 16]

Exactly. I have also witnessed it first hand. My cousin had the sleeve and other family would talk about her in a negative way about getting it done. I would try to explain it to them how it works but they never wanted to listen.

I feel bad for her knowing we did also and she doesn't know but we have enough stress in life and don't need to add more.

If you choose later on that's fine too. I did tell a close friend later on.

Best of luck to you.

Sent from my SM-G930W8 using the BariatricPal App

[MichaelaRae 9]

Thank you, I really do appreciate the help through this process.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[engbullymom 9]

I chose to keep my decision private. Only my parents, sister and husband know. This was a decision based on multiple factors but it just feels right for me.

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

[BettyG 75]

I really wrestled with this too. I told my immediate family, but not my extended family or friends. It's a bit of a process to explain to people who don't get it. And I am well aware of the misperceptions about bariatric surgery as I used to hold some myself long ago (*blush*). My only experience for a long time was negative comments from people.

For those around me who will discover that I had major abdominal surgery that I am recovering from...I might choose to just say "I had a hernia repaired" (which is true, my hiatal hernia will be fixed as part of my rny).

I am not trying to hide my surgery, per se. Just be selective about who I tell and when. I need supportive people right now.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[Luce587 48]

I'm keeping my revision from band to sleeve a secret from everyone except my husband and immediate family.

Only my best friends and family knew about my band, and most of them didn't really understand, that's why my sleeve is remaining hush hush.

[Rachel412 116]

I'm keeping my revision from band to sleeve a secret from everyone except my husband and immediate family.

Only my best friends and family knew about my band, and most of them didn't really understand, that's why my sleeve is remaining hush hush.

This is exactly what I've done with my revision from sleeve to bypass. I only told close family and a few friends about the band... word got around anyway. This time the ONLY people who know about the bypass are my husband and best friend. Those who knew about the band... I told them it caused internal damage and I had it removed, and surgically repairing that damage is why I'm on a restricted diet.

People think WLS surgery is cheating. All the weight I lost with the band was MY work. The band never did anything for me. So I'm taking full credit this time.

[Luce587 48]

Totally agree... my in laws would be the worst ever. They've been kept well out of the loop.

[hdw85 48]

When I started my 6 months pre op diet and all my testing I didn't tell anyone except my immediate family.. after I got my approval I told most of my family, then I told the girls at work.. most people I talk to on a regular basis know, and have been supportive. I figured that if they don't support it or like it then they can think whatever they would like, it was my choice and I am happy with it! Good luck

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Hammer_Down 631]

My wife and I both had surgery. We told her parents before travelling to Tijuana and it went ok. They knew we did our homework and were mostly just worried about us having surgery so far from home.

I Knew my parents (mom, really) would be worried sick and not especially supportive of having an elective surgery. I called them the night we got home and told them that it wasn't just an anniversary vacation in Tijuana, but that we'd had surgery. Lots of questions, which I did my best to answer. Mom confirmed that she happy I hadn't told her ahead of time as she wouldn't have slept for a week.

Other than 1 of my friends, no one else knows. The friend who knows was the person who first got me thinking about bariatric surgery, as she was planning to get it done. Now, I seldom hear from her and she's totally reversed her position on the surgery. The last few times we'be texted, anytime my weight loss comes up she ghosts me and disappears for a few weeks.

[Stephanielp 120]

At first I wanted to keep it hush because even my old primary care dr said it was an aweful idea but I've decided now I will not worry or care what others thing I'm getting the gastric sleeve for my health and happiness not theres

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using the BariatricPal App

[danaymacklin 177]

Most people don't understand and will be judge mental vocally or silent. A few people know because my sister had the surgery which inspired mine, but if I could go back only my husband would know.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[nucqne 0]

I'm not telling anyone but my husband. I have done my research on this and I don't want anyone's negative two cents. Maybe a year out I'll tell them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App