Stop worrying about calories?

[sprtsmom 1]

When I went to the Dr.today for my second fill we had a conversation about foods. Since I've been heavy my whole life I always look at foods and see fat vs. calories. vs carbs vs Protein etc.

He told me to throw that out the window and just eat. If I want something sweet...have it. If I crave Lasagne...have it. The band will help me to eat small portions. BUT more important then how much I eat at each sitting...is how long I stay satisfied and don't need to eat again. That's how you determine if you need a fill.

When I think about my eating habits, it's not that I've been a junk food junky...it's that I eat WAY TOO MUCH of the "right foods." I always needed so much food...in sheer quantity...to satisfy me...even temporarily...that I had to obsess with the calories, etc of everything I put in my mouth.

All day today, everytime I picked up something, or thought about what I should eat.. I had to force myself not to dissect what I was going to eat.

It will not be easy to change my obsession with food....I realize now that not only did I obsess about when I was going to eat...but I also realized that that created a whole other obsession as well.

Lori

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Hi Sportsmom,

I think it is great that your doctor has postive spirit and good intentions, but I do not agree that eating anything you want in small quantities is necessarily good for all people.

Most surgeons are not nutritionists and many have never been overweight and do not understand that each of us bandsters have different nutritional needs and some of us are metabolically resistant to certain foods even in small quantities. How often do you hear an obese person say that they don't eat much but still gain weight rapidly? The band is an important tool to help with quantity, but the rule of eating less and losing weight does not apply to all. Some of us have to work harder at it than others.

I am insulin resistant and even really small quantities of carbs blow me up a half dozen pounds. It is a rare treat for me to even have a potato, rice or Pasta. I cannot even have any kind of fruit and only have a few strawberries once a week. So I do have to watch my carbs, Protein, calories to lose weight. Then you have two other issues, slow metabolism and little band restriction. That is why the band does not work for all people. Any nutritionist will tell you that less calories (3500 less to lose a pd) will result in weight loss, but certain rich- in Protein foods do produce a ketogenic state such as meat and cheese. I am willing to bet if I had 1200 calories of meat and cheese only vs 1200 calories a day of low fat pudding pops, that I would lose faster than the person eating the pops. Of course, all people who have the band should indulge in treats just like everyone else, but having an Apple Crisp Protein Bar vs 2 oz of apple pie could make a huge difference in the weight loss.

-35 and counting

6/23/03

[sprtsmom 1]

Good points Babs, but I was trying to say that I obsess almost as much about the calories as I do about eating. For me obsession of any kind is no good. I need to change the way I approach food as a whole.

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Dear Sportsmom,

Sorry if I misunderstood, but I was wondering why you thought counting calories is an obsession for you? I know lots of bandsters who keep a log and count calories, carbs and Protein every day til they get into a habit of eating healthier and less food once they have good restriction. I think keeping and logging this kind of info is a good thing until you feel comfortable that you do not need this mechanism anymore. I feel a sense of comfort, security and some control when I really micro monitor my weight loss process.

-36 and counting

6/23/03

[sprtsmom 1]

From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep I think about food. I don't want to make it sound as if I don't function, I do. I have a business and I went back to school and now at age 46 am a junior in college.

I just felt it was time to stop THINKING about food. What I eat, when I eat, what am I going to eat, how many calories does it have, how much fat, etc etc.

I understand that dieting takes thought and planning. But I am so sick and tired of DIETING. I want to just live and eat normally.

Lori

239/221/125

Banded 7/9/02

just had 2nd fill total 1.5 cc's

[Alexandra 55]

Lori, I think your doctor is giving you some great advice. And it's exactly how I plan to approach my life with the band.

It seems to me that if we already know we eat healthful proportions of nutrients--that is, if I don't make up 90% of my daily calories in fat or simple carbs--then all I have to do is reduce the QUANTITY of what I eat. And that's what the band will help me do.

I'm every bit as likely to have a craving for lentil Soup as for a doughnut, or for broiled fish as for a bowl of spaghetti. I'll probably monitor my intake as I've done from time to time on Fitday in the past as I get used to working with my band, but micro-monitoring doesn't work for me at all.

That's one of the coolest things about the band. It will let us work it the way that is most comfortable for us. As long as we meet our goals of losing weight and gaining health, there's no "right" way to do it.

[sprtsmom 1]

Alexandra,

That's EXACTLY how I feel about it! Hope you're doing well.

Lori

[donali 57]

I think your doctor's philosophy is right on the money. I spent about $1500 on a counseling program for my obsession about food. It included one on one counseling with hypnotherapy. We went through a workbook with exercises, and I have to tell you that emotionally/self-esteem-wise, this was the most valuable $1500 I have ever spent. That and the band are the two greatest gifts I have ever given myself.

The first thing I had to do to begin my healing journey with food was to sign a contract with myself that I would NEVER EVER diet again - EVER. It took me a week to sign that document, because I was petrified of letting go of this crutch I have used for the last 26 years. When I finally signed the contract, I MEANT it - and I will never diet again.

Not dieting does not mean not making healthy choices - it just means that I do not create cravings for myself for foods that are "off limits" or "bad". There are no longer "good" or "bad" foods - just nutritious and less nutritious.

Once I got off the diet wagon, I could address that negative voice I had developed in response to my dieting failures. I had been letting a hateful voice in my head run my self-esteem into the ground until I had none - I was fat, worthless, unloveable... If the voice were to be believed. I did not deserve to be happy, or to pay attention to my needs - that was selfish... If the voice were to believed.

I learned through the program how to shut down that paralyzing voice, and seperate my self-worth from my weight. Yes, I still want to lose weight - I want to look and feel better physically - but I no longer attribute all my problems in life to my weight.

Most people with chronic weight issues have transferred all of their energy to micro-managing their weight. It's the only thing we have been able to make "all about me" with a clear conscience, the only control we feel we have in our lives. All other problems take a back seat in our efforts and energy - and LIVING passes us by while we count calories and research new diets and obsess about numbers on the scale.

This program was a life saver for me. I still felt the need to be banded - it was a difficult decision in that regard, but I just did not feel that the emotional changes I was making would be fast enough to achieve the health I desired in comparison to my aging. The two together, however, has been an invaluable combination for me.

Although I intend to continue to lose weight, my main goal is to be at peace with food and to live my life. I eat when I am hungry, and stop when I am full. If I am not dying to have something less nutritious, I make nutritious choices. When I crave pizza, or ice cream, or candy, or fried chicken, I have it. But I know and am secure in the knowledge that I do not have to BINGE on it because I can have it whenever - not just now. I do not have to say goodbye to it for a certain time. That alone has been a very powerful healing behaviour. Yes, at first my body did not trust me, and my subconscious demanded all the things I had previously deemed "bad" - but as I proved to myself over and over again, these foods WERE permitted and eaten, and were not taken away, and I did not beat myself up. The demands are few and far between now.

My only rules for myself now:

Eat immediately in response to physical hunger and stop when I'm full.

Drink all of my Water each day.

Deal with life issues seperately from food - satisfy emotional hunger with activities other than eating.

Use kind and nurturing talk when I talk to myself, as I would to a beloved child or pet.

My end goal - to be at peace with food, regardless of my weight. To me this means that food is no longer a central part of my life, and involves no more thought than breathing or going to the bathroom.

I have a long way to go, but I do believe I will get there!

Good luck to everyone else -

Donali

Dr. Lopez, 1/23/03

303/245/135

[Alexandra 55]

That post is a KEEPER!! Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I really like your point of view.

[sprtsmom 1]

Wow Donali that is exactly what I was trying to get across.

My life has taken a back seat to my obsession with food. I could probably tell you to within 5 calories the content of any food in any size, shape, or wieght. That's nuts. What am I eating? When am I eating? Where am I eating? What's in it, what's not?

I just want to eat when I'm hungry, eat what I'm in the mood for, in a reasonable way. The vast majority of my choices will be good, nutritious ones, and sometime slightly less nutritious.

But I agree...there are no BAD foods, and I'm not BAD if I eat them at times.

So I will eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. AND NOT OBSESS. The band will be a tool that I use to help me realize when I have had enough.

Lori

7/9/2003

Dr. Costantino in Langhorne, PA

239/221/125

[Guest Miss-Rachel]

Donali- I was wondering what the name of the program you went through was? I need to be doing something like this. Your post was great.

Rach

[donali 57]

Hi Rach –

The program is called “The Hungry Heart”. It has been changed since I went through it – they no longer offer the one-on-one counseling, but have converted the program to audio tape with workbook, with optional phone support. Their site address is: www.hungryheart.org

Please know that I am not affiliated in anyway with this organization, and it is not my intent to drive traffic to their site. I can NOT vouch for the effectiveness of the audio tape program, although it is supposed to use the same workbook I had with my counseling sessions (they converted to the audio tape program a month or two before I had completed my follow-up support sessions).

I posted one of the exercises I did through the program in the support section called “A Tool for Dealing with Emotional Hunger” – this is the kind of self-tailored exercise the program uses.

Although the program dealt with eating behaviors, for me the overall tone was about raising my self-esteem, which I SO needed. I felt that all people would have benefited from this program, not just those with eating issues.

Again, this is not an endorsement (or non-endorsement) for the tape program they currently offer. I personally would not have been successful with a tape program, as I have MANY self-help/self-improvement books/programs that I never started, or started but never completed. :sick For me it was critical to have that face-to-face accountability with my counselor each week.

Best of luck to you!

[Guest Miss-Rachel]

Donali- Thank you so much for the information I soo gald it worked well for you.

Rach

[springirl 0]

I would be careful about your doctors advice. You can eat around the band. I have had a slow weight loss because I still have trouble with sugar in particular. I am now working on that issue with a counselor and a kicksugar website.

The band will definitely help with quantity, but I am finding that it is going to take some time and some work for me to get to my goal weight. I do know however, unlike diets in the past, that I will get to my goal weight. That is what is different with the band. It offers us the hope that regular dieting did not. We have a tool that will help us, if we use it properly and learn how to work with it. For some of us, we just need to be patient and work at changing our behavior and our thinking and not just what we are eating.

Also, don't compare yourself to others on your band journey. I am learning we all have a differnt path and for some it's easy and for others it is a little more difficult.

I wish you much success.

Spring

1/10/03

278/238/160

[sprtsmom 1]

Now that I have good restriction (and my first restriction at all) at 2.25 cc's (4th fill) I find that I have to eat small amounts.

I can't eat much even if I wanted to...it just won't go down. So I pick things to eat that I really want...knowing that I can only eat a little bit.

For example the other day I was forced by circumstances to pick fast food for Breakfast. I got an Egg McMuffin...knowing there was no way I could eat most of it. I threw the bread away, and ate 3/4 of the egg patty out of my hand. I was very satified....and what was even better...is that a)I would never have an EggMcM when I was on a "diet" and pre-band I would have eaten two!

Eating this way allows me to enjoy the foods I never allowed myself while dieting and keeps my total calorie count down and my Protein level high. Just to check myself at the end of the day I have kept track on Fitday of my foods for the last 3 days to see how its going. Curiously enough, each day I have between 60-80 grams of Protein and less then 1200 calories.

I am not going to be on a "diet" anymore. I will once in a while check myself to see if my protein and calories are in line.

I will go to the MD in 3 weeks to get weighed.

Lori in PA