Husband says he doesn't like skinny women...WTH!

[Dknal2 1,066]

That's how I feel exactly. I'm just praying that he will turn around afterwards when he can see that I will still be me n love him the same. But if he doesn't see it or continues to be a butt, I will have no other choice except to walk alone.

My $.02:

In our society, we choose who we will go through life with. Our marriages are not arranged, we do not receive divine intervention from a higher power that pushes us together with anyone. Only we choose who will walk beside us in life, and eventually death.

The second it occurred to me that my chosen partner in life was secretly hoping I would fail for the sake of winning an argument ("I told you so!") I would be choosing to walk alone. It's easier to walk on your own than to be dragging someone else along.

Well said, lol, very well said.

Maybe you should tell him you don't find shallow judgmental @$$holes attractive, either.

[Dknal2 1,066]

I am really seeing how this group is beneficial for so many reasons and I hope to make some life long friends on here due to I don't really have any one to discuss these matters with. Thank you for your encouragement.

@@Dknal2 There's a huge support group here for you I've only been around for about 7 months and there are women and men I've met here who have become very real parts of my life!

You have to make decisions that are the best for your health, and there's no question of NOT making the choice that includes improving your chances at a longer, healthier and happier life. That man will have to make his own decisions and he may make the wrong one, unfortunately. But you'll still be healthier and hopefully happier!

Edited December 3, 2016 by Dknal2

[wilson06 31]

Keep your eye on the prize which is a healthier you and God has you. Sorry that you have to go thru this but God will make you a stronger women in the end. If it doesn't want to be supportive that's ok. Maybe God is telling you something and you have to listen. The good thing is your son will be beside you and that's all that matters. Your Heavenly Father is your man and will be with you along the way always and forver. I wish you all the Best.

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[jwinters19 124]

My dad was not supportive of my moms surgery. He dropped her off at the hospital and that was the extent of his involvement (and that's only a mile drive). But two and a half years later, he loves their new lifestyle, he's lost weight too, and was fully supportive of my decision to get sleeved on 11/23. Just wanted to say there is hope. and that is great that you will have your son with you and not be alone.

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[Rocks_Wife 6]

He's scared that you will leave him when you get down to your weight. You might need to sit with him and re-sure him you're not leaving. My bf was scared at first.

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[Dknal2 1,066]

@ Wison06 thank you and I truly believe and receive that. Maybe God is trying to reveal something to me . Just hard to go they this but I'm gonna be ok . Focusing my positive energy on Monday due to I'm leaving this evening.

Keep your eye on the prize which is a healthier you and God has you. Sorry that you have to go thru this but God will make you a stronger women in the end. If it doesn't want to be supportive that's ok. Maybe God is telling you something and you have to listen. The good thing is your son will be beside you and that's all that matters. Your Heavenly Father is your man and will be with you along the way always and forver. I wish you all the Best.

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[Dknal2 1,066]

That's sad that he dropped her off. But I'm glad he came on board later. Hoping for good results as well with my hubby. I'm just not gonna press the issue with him anymore about it. It's my body and I am taking control of it.

My dad was not supportive of my moms surgery. He dropped her off at the hospital and that was the extent of his involvement (and that's only a mile drive). But two and a half years later, he loves their new lifestyle, he's lost weight too, and was fully supportive of my decision to get sleeved on 11/23. Just wanted to say there is hope. and that is great that you will have your son with you and not be alone.

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[Dknal2 1,066]

I think a lot of it has to do with insecurity and fear as well. I have talked to him and reassured him all that I can. We ave been together since high school and that is 21 years. So, this is typical behavior for him when he doesn't want me to do something. But I don't care at this point. Not about him anymore and unhealthy , overweight Diana . It's about Diana regaining control of her life starting with her weight issues so that she can live a healthier longer life( I sound weird talking about myself in third person, I'm not narcissistic,lol)

He's scared that you will leave him when you get down to your weight. You might need to sit with him and re-sure him you're not leaving. My bf was scared at first.

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[wilson06 31]

@Dknal2. Safe travels and get us updated. What time is your procedure . I'll be praying for you. Take it one day at a time. I know everyone means we'll but you have to make the decision on your hubby. It's thru thick and thin no matter what. Keep me posted on your surgery Journey. Welcome to the New You!!

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[Dknal2 1,066]

Thru thick and thin , lol .. I'm hoping this is the thin part , lol. But seriously thank you so much . I appreciate the sentiment. My surgery is 9:30 am and as soon as I'm coherent, I promise to post ... it's almost here!!! Yayyy the journey to becoming the new Diana. ... To God be the Glory.

@Dknal2. Safe travels and get us updated. What time is your procedure . I'll be praying for you. Take it one day at a time. I know everyone means we'll but you have to make the decision on your hubby. It's thru thick and thin no matter what. Keep me posted on your surgery Journey. Welcome to the New You!!

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[JupiterinVirgo 846]

Over the last year and a half that I have been on the site I have seen several posts from women whose husbands have withdrawn their loving support. I have always found this to be extremely disappointing, and I have always believed that it had to do with the insecurity of the other partner Who is in someway feeling in adequate and perhaps subconsciously figured that they are inadequacies can be overlooked on account of the physical issues of their wives. To put it simply, husbands are afraid to lose their wives when they lose weight, and some, who do not have better instruments of Communication and self reflection, turn to abusive tactics. I'm sure that most married women would love to think that their husbands love them. When a man turns to you and says he doesn't "like "something about your body, he is withholding love in an attempt to create emotional blackmail. Most men who do this are not specifically malicious, but themselves they are wounded. You have a right to be healthy. It's your body, you live inside it, and it is only your choice what you would have it be like. I can't imagine how discouraging it must be for you to be confronted by your husband this way, but I want you to know that you have every right to do what makes you happy! Maybe he should be worried. Maybe when your body is reflective of your glorious womanhood, you might realize she prefers something better or something different. But in the meantime, girl you go for it!

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[Dknal2 1,066]

Aww @ JupiterinVirgo.... that really touched me and it made me feel like you were a good friend that really cares about my well being. I really feel what you said is true because he keeps saying I wanna get attention so he's gonna start getting himself together too. I'm like you weigh 170 at 6'4 so you don't need to lose weight. I am not gonna let him discourage me from this blessing to get my health in order. I'm prepping today and packing. My 20 year old son ushering with me so I'm won't be alone and that's all the love I need there with me, my baby. Thank you so much though I really appreciate words of advice

Over the last year and a half that I have been on the site I have seen several posts from women whose husbands have withdrawn their loving support. I have always found this to be extremely disappointing, and I have always believed that it had to do with the insecurity of the other partner Who is in someway feeling in adequate and perhaps subconsciously figured that they are inadequacies can be overlooked on account of the physical issues of their wives. To put it simply, husbands are afraid to lose their wives when they lose weight, and some, who do not have better instruments of Communication and self reflection, turn to abusive tactics. I'm sure that most married women would love to think that their husbands love them. When a man turns to you and says he doesn't "like "something about your body, he is withholding love in an attempt to create emotional blackmail. Most men who do this are not specifically malicious, but themselves they are wounded. You have a right to be healthy. It's your body, you live inside it, and it is only your choice what you would have it be like. I can't imagine how discouraging it must be for you to be confronted by your husband this way, but I want you to know that you have every right to do what makes you happy! Maybe he should be worried. Maybe when your body is reflective of your glorious womanhood, you might realize she prefers something better or something different. But in the meantime, girl you go for it!

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[suzzzzz 1,005]

So glad you have the support of your son and that he is traveling with you. Welcome to Texas and praying all goes well.

[rspk1963@gmail.com 42]

He's an incredibly selfish man and must be afraid of loosing you. But let it go in one ear and out the other because your health is most important. And you deserve this, you deserve to feel better and good about yourself. Sounds like you have a wonderful son who loves and adores his mother. He will be of great comfort to you in Texas and know we will all be here for you. Good luck and God bless

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[Seevan 32]

Remember God loves you. This your life. Live it as healthy as you can. A person who is not overweight has no, no idea what it's like to carry alot of weight around... Just stay in prayer. Keep loving and believing in you. I wish you well...

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