My husband is questioning my decision

[Dawn E Dorsey 1]

My husband is willing for me to go have the surgery, but he seems afraid of the changes to our entire life...

Last night my husband talked with his sister who had the VSG, in Mexico, last May. She had been on a cruise and complained about not being able to eat... Hubby asked me why I would want to do that to myself.

He is upset that we won't be able to go our and eat again. Our dates have ALWAYS revolved arounf eating. I am ready for our dates to move onto something different.

I am 50 years old. I have tried everything! I'll have a small victory, then re-gain everything, plus more.

I am ready to make changes. I'm in pain all the time, I have bad GERD, sleep apnea, High BP, high cholesterol...

I know I have made bad decisions for 50 years. I am ready to make changes. For myself, my 2 boys 12 & 10, my husband.

Anyone out there wish they hadn't had the surgery? Anyone struggle with the lifestyle changes? Do you struggle with your family? Do they understand your decision, or wanting to make a huge change in your lifestyle?

[sc101071 398]

I'm only 4 months out so keep that in mind. You can still go out to eat. You may not care about doing it like before. I don't know if that lasts. But you can do it. Just keep your husband and his likes in mind. Assure him that this isn't about changing him

[_Kate_ 2,224]

You will be able to go out and eat, just smaller portions or starters and might have to stay away from certain foods such as fried and heavy carbs.

I have 2 lunches a week out with work colleagues and my family and I go out a couple of times a week at night. Initially it might be difficult finding something you will tolerate and I used to have Soups a lot. Get in the habit of taking a container so you can bring the rest you can't eat for later in the day, especially if its Protein.

The benefit of health FAR outweighs the fact you can't eat what you used to.

Good luck !

Kate

[higher 966]

There was just a brief period pre and post-op for me where I was on a very restrictive diet. Barely a month in total.

I'm 5 months post op and I go out to eat all the time and have been without issue. I live in NYC and regularly dine at some of the world's finest and most exciting restaurants. I order chicken, fish, steak, burgers, etc - Protein and a side of salad or green vegetable. It's a totally normal way to eat.

I take home leftovers and have meals for the next day. It's great. Plus I hate to cook so it makes my life easier.

[Mindy78 372]

I am 2 months out there are very few things I cant tolerate. Cucumber for instance on salad. I can't eat as much but still enjoy dinners out about 3 times a week and we eat at church every Wed. I eat slower and it's amazing how much time I have for conversation when I'm not stuffing my face. Lol. Like others said take home leftovers. I normally box most of my dinner up before I even start then it's normally enough for us both to have lunch the next day.

Edited December 1, 2016 by MindyMe

[Babbs 14,681]

The way I look at it is you have a couple choices. Have the surgery, embrace the changes and more likely than not live a happier, healthier life, changes and all. He will come around. I've seen it a million times.

Don't have the surgery, probably live with regret and resent your husband because he'll be happy nothing has changed, but you will still be unhappy, unhealthy and obese.

It takes a little time to find your new normal post op. But in the grand scheme of things, that's a blip on the radar. Soon you'll be living life again, but in a different way. You'll be thinner, healthier and happier when you go to dinner, party's, the movies, out with friends, etc. You'll feel empowered to make good lifestyle choices. Your husband will see how much happier you are and will wonder why he even questioned you having the surgery in the first place.

You're 50 years old. Time to do something for you and not worry about anyone else thinks.

[Stephi7626 165]

The only issue I have ran into is my husband enjoys eating fast food (and stays skinny as can be ). It is much harder to find something I can enjoy on a fast food menu vs a regular restaurant. So that has been an adjustment for him but in all reality it's healthier for him too to eat real food at real restaurants! A huge bonus though is we almost always share something so eating out has become much cheaper!! Good luck on your journey, it's so worth it!!!

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Edited December 1, 2016 by Stephi7626

[KCBO 18]

I agree with everyone. I am new, only 9 days post op but have been on a restrictive diet for 3 weeks now(2before and 1afterso far) but I have a coworker who is 6 months out and she eats almost anything she wants with smaller portions And control. She describes it as eating like a naturally skinny person would, eat mostly good choices with a treat ever now and then.

In my family we have me, a wrestler ( who always has to watch his weight), a football player ( d.lineman who always wants to eat more!) and my husband who is a triathlete (can eat anything he wants!). Our dinners are made enough with a variation for each of us. Its not that hard, two of us don't eat the carbs and two of us do (based on before I went on all liquids).

Plus, your husband will love the physical changes in you! I already fell better about myself and it shows! Best of luck to you, I wouldn't let anyone change your mind. Do what is right for you.

[heidikat72 935]

You can definitely still go out to eat. I went out with friends last night with no problem! You'd be surprised at how willing most restaurants are to accomodate changes to dishes as well - especially the independent restaurants. We went to a mediterranean restaurant and I ordered one of the specials - fish with a fennel ragout but asked them to leave off the rice that it came with, they offered to substitute some sauteed zucchini instead of the rice without me even asking for a substitute. I ate half the dish and brought the rest with me to work today. My friends ate like they normally would. It was no big deal and we thoroughly enjoyed our evening.

I get that your husband is concerned that your (yours and his) whole life will change. But guess what? It is going to change for the better - when you are feeling healthier and happy you want to do more things and you enjoy even the simplest of things so much more. Go ahead with your surgery and your husband will likely come around when he sees how much happier and healthier you are and that you two can still enjoy life - probably even more than you have been!

[Vinasu 621]

Your husband is scared of change and scared for you. However, in this case change is good. Not being able to eat like we used to is good. Having to prepare healthier meals at home is good...my kids don't need to be exposed to disordered eating. They need to have healthy behaviors modeled. You're not doing this to yourself. You're doing it for yourself.

My entire family is better off because I had surgery. They are all healthier and happier.

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