I think we just broke up...shedding unsupportive friends

[Aggiemae 739]

This is the text:

Sorry you are having such a hard time with your new lifestyle...you know nothing is as easy as they say it will be...

WTF?

[Large2Ncharge 51]

Do you think it could be jealousy? It doesn't really sound like this person understands that nothing about all of this is easy.

How long has this person been your friend? Perhaps they need a wide berth of space.

[Babbs 14,681]

I just see a supportive text. Am I missing something?

[Large2Ncharge 51]

It reads a smidge passive aggressive. Only Aggie knows for sure if this person meant it straight or in a PA sort of way.

[Malin 470]

This is the text:

Sorry you are having such a hard time with your new lifestyle...you know nothing is as easy as they say it will be...

WTF?

Ummmm, who exactly is 'they' and how muck crack were they smoking when they said this was easy?

[Aggiemae 739]

For some reason I can't see the text when I start a new thread.

So had to come back with a second post to have my rant.

The message above is from someone I would have called a close friend a month ago. We meet for Breakfast every 2nd Sunday. I mentioned that I had had WLS in a text on Saturday evening and she cancelled our plans about 15minutes before I would have left the house. No big thing as I was 5 days post op.

This is my neediest friend, she calls or texts at least twice a day, so I was surprised when I didn't hear from her for a few days. I calleher and invited her to do a few things she declined each time, then 2 weeks ago I woke up with one side of my face paralyzed due to limes disease and spent 12 days in the hospital with complications. I did not hear from her once.

Last night she sent this text:

"Hi, how are you doing? Are you settling into your new lifestyle?"

Other than letting her know I have had the surgery (she was one of the two people told) I have never talked with her about it at all. I responded (briefly) explanation of the whole medical mess (paralysis, high dose steroids, crazy high blood sugar, insulin, antiviral, transgeminal nerve pain)in response she sent this text:

"Dang! Sorry you are having such a hard time with your new lifestyle...You know nothing is as easy as they said it would be."

Wow.

[sunsetsue 67]

For some reason I can't see the text when I start a new thread.

So had to come back with a second post to have my rant.

The message above is from someone I would have called a close friend a month ago. We meet for Breakfast every 2nd Sunday. I mentioned that I had had WLS in a text on Saturday evening and she cancelled our plans about 15minutes before I would have left the house. No big thing as I was 5 days post op.

This is my neediest friend, she calls or texts at least twice a day, so I was surprised when I didn't hear from her for a few days. I calleher and invited her to do a few things she declined each time, then 2 weeks ago I woke up with one side of my face paralyzed due to limes disease and spent 12 days in the hospital with complications. I did not hear from her once.

Last night she sent this text:

"Hi, how are you doing? Are you settling into your new lifestyle?"

Other than letting her know I have had the surgery (she was one of the two people told) I have never talked with her about it at all. I responded (briefly) explanation of the whole medical mess (paralysis, high dose steroids, crazy high blood sugar, insulin, antiviral, transgeminal nerve pain)in response she sent this text:

"Dang! Sorry you are having such a hard time with your new lifestyle...You know nothing is as easy as they said it would be."

Wow.

She's obviously being condescending...not cool at all

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[LittleBill 2,231]

This is the text:

Sorry you are having such a hard time with your new lifestyle...you know nothing is as easy as they say it will be...

WTF?

Ummmm, who exactly is 'they' and how muck crack were they smoking when they said this was easy?

In our house, we say, "They, with a capital T".

[Babbs 14,681]

I'm still not seeing it as non supportive. I guess you would know this person's tone. Are you sure you're not reading too much into it? Did you ask her what exactly she meant by it?

I think we all have a tendency to be hyper sensitive after this surgery sometimes.

[Aggiemae 739]

I texted back that I never thought it would be easy and asked her where she got that impression since we haven't seen each other in 7 weeks and in the 8 years we have been friends have never discussed WLS.

She has gained a great deal of weight in the past few years and though she makes a point of choosing rich foods and always has a coffee drink and desert when we go out she is very touchy about her weight. A woman at my OA meetings says she thinks my friend is sad about losing her "eating buddy"

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[sunsetsue 67]

I texted back that I never thought it would be easy and asked her where she got that impression since we haven't seen each other in 7 weeks and in the 8 years we have been friends have never discussed WLS.

She has gained a great deal of weight in the past few years and though she makes a point of choosing rich foods and always has a coffee drink and desert when we go out she is very touchy about her weight. A woman at my OA meetings says she thinks my friend is sad about losing her "eating buddy"

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I think it's more jealousy and a true friend would not disappear during the time you need a friend the most. I'm sure you wouldn't

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[BrookeTiffani 54]

I texted back that I never thought it would be easy and asked her where she got that impression since we haven't seen each other in 7 weeks and in the 8 years we have been friends have never discussed WLS.

She has gained a great deal of weight in the past few years and though she makes a point of choosing rich foods and always has a coffee drink and desert when we go out she is very touchy about her weight. A woman at my OA meetings says she thinks my friend is sad about losing her "eating buddy"

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That makes a ton of sense. I have... well had... a friend who struggles with weight as well.She also struggles with PCOS, whereas i do not. PCOS attributes to some of her weight and infertility issues (not that she has a stable relationship anyway). once I got the surgery I started to hear from her less and less. Turns out it was jealousy and she wouldn't have anyone to eat with anymore.

[BrookeTiffani 54]

I texted back that I never thought it would be easy and asked her where she got that impression since we haven't seen each other in 7 weeks and in the 8 years we have been friends have never discussed WLS.

She has gained a great deal of weight in the past few years and though she makes a point of choosing rich foods and always has a coffee drink and desert when we go out she is very touchy about her weight. A woman at my OA meetings says she thinks my friend is sad about losing her "eating buddy"

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I think it's more jealousy and a true friend would not disappear during the time you need a friend the most. I'm sure you wouldn't

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That is what told me my "friend" mentioned above wasn't a true friend at all. I posted an update side-by-side picture about 2 weeks after surgery to where the loss was already noticeable and she blocked me. They sound like narcissists. It is so much easier for those types of people to spew hate and jealousy than it is to take control of their own lives like all of us have.

[Aggiemae 739]

She was one of the two people aside from my husband that I told. I did it after I had surgery so maybe I had a sense that she wouldn't approve... venting did put it into perspective.

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[Redmaxx 740]

Sorry to hear that. Luckily I have not had this issue.

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